light bulb;

some sad goodbyes but also hopes for the future, who stays and who goes.

gonna shameless copy this little trend going on on the dash cuz honestly i think it’s a great idea and i like how everyone is communicating what they’re feeling. i’m definitely sticking around, i’m not going anywhere but by the look of it, i’m dropping yuanjun and jaewon? i love them very very much and it pains me to do so (if you see me getting emo ab jaewon look away… i have written that idiot for 4 years and the notion of doing so feels kinda weird) but i don’t see how i’d fit them in and i think it’d be best to just, drop them. for minah and yena, i’m very excited for these new possibilities. definitely not trying to stake a claim but i am eyeing lily’s main vocal for minah and calypso’s maknae, lead vocal, lead rapper and lead dancer for yena. again nothing is set in stone, i got some options, but i am very much excited. and who knows… perhaps i’ll be putting together a possible third for when the time comes as well

okay, so jaewon just had bad music taste. and definitely hated fun. she could deal with that knowledge, even if she vehemently disagreed. at least, she’d thought she could, until jaewon kept going. less than the words tossed at her, the tone was what gave her pause. a couple of seconds were needed to catch up, for her to figure out what it was she was feeling.

anger.

from a friend, from someone with simple intentions, those words could mean absolutely nothing to her. she did say stupid things, jeonghwa could admit to that. this wasn’t a friendly jostling, nor some tsundere masquerade. her arms crossed over her chest. “i didn’t act like i knew anything.” there was an obvious difference between telling someone how they felt and asking with examples, but at this point, jeonghwa didn’t care who was right or wrong in this situation. any ounce of joking manner she’d held had died. “all i did was ask questions. is it my fault that you’re too stupid to hear the questioning tone at the end of my sentences? or should i rephrase that so it’s not a question?”

somewhere, the conversation had taken a bad turn and jaewon wasn’t emotionally or socially aware enough to be able to pinpoint the exact moment it had happened. sure, it had never been exactly warm and friendly to begin with but somewhere deep down, jaewon noted it was suddenly a lot worse now. not the first time that had happened, still disorienting enough to throw him off for a second.

despite the rather short time that she’s been acquainted with jaewon, suji felt quite proud about the high’s that he was feeling post-concert. she looked upon him with a warm smile as he talked about the experience and how he felt like he could perform many more shows. that’s exactly how she feels with every fuse concert that occurs so she can’t imagine the rush of adrenaline that must come after finishing a show completely on his own. “maybe you should bribe dimensions or something. ask for an asia tour.” she realizes that it sounds very idealistic especially with how idol schedules were planned out so much in advance but with how much jaewon works for the team in many different aspects, she believes he should have some say in his career. 

“i’ll be sure to get you the best tickets in the whole arena. theater? wherever i end up performing if i do.” it’s a big if at the moment mostly because gold star has never mentioned a concert to her. the desire has always been there for her though she worries about not being an interesting enough performer at the same time. would tickets even sell if she does it on her own? throwing those thoughts to the back of her head, she goes back to paying attention to jaewon and his words. “i’m trying to explore some different genres though i think there will always be a signature suji sound to it. though, if i’m being honest, i’m not really sure what that means. it’s just something the producers around me say whenever they hear my music,” she confesses with a laugh. perhaps they’re referring to the way she sings? whatever it is, she’s unsure whether or not she clearly knows what it is. “anyway, i’m trying to walk away from traditional ballads. i think there’s enough of those in my discography at the moment.”

at her words, jaewon couldn’t help but laugh. he had never been much of an optimist, holding these concerts had been something jaewon had hardly been able to fathom prior to it actually happening and an asia tour had been something that quite frankly, had not even surfaced as a possibility yet, feeling so out of reach. but with suji mentioning it, jaewon actually entertained the thought for the first time ever. “not gonna lie that feels... kinda impossible still at this point. i think dimensions would laugh at me if i’d ask for that.” he scoffed humorously. “but who knows, maybe some more cities in korea first next. i doubt it will be soon but... that would be neat.”

duri tried his best, he really did, and he was sure that his family was very aware of that. but, truth be told, he really did wish that he had a lot more time. but, due to how busy he tends to be with knight and his own personal schedule, it’s not really something that he had the ability to do pretty often. though, he did always do his best to call to check up on everyone and luckily, that seemed to work out well. he nodded his head with a soft giggle, “he’s very smart! ah, i’m so proud of him,” he said, giggling a bit more. duri, is after all, a father to a bunch of fur children, and he was going to act as such! he nodded his head, “my aunt and uncle tend to watch them a lot. but, sometimes my cousin will come with my niece and nephew to watch the pets. the dogs really like getting chased by them and tteokbokki just really likes to cuddle with them,” he explained. “but, they’re just as happy when my aunt and uncle watch them, it’s always a fun time with them!” he said, giggling softly. “they do! they like them a lot!” he nodded. 

no matter what, things were always going to stay the same. duri would always be the one to pay, even if he’s been doing it for a decade now - that was simply something that wasn’t going to change in the slightest. he shook his head, “ah, i’m still older, so it’s my responsibly for a long time!” he said, nodding firmly. “plus, you’re my little brother, so it’s always my responsibly!” he stated. sure, you can use that they aren’t actually brothers in the sense of legal or blood, but in the heart. so, it still counted! he shook his head, “all of our seoul dates are in september, so i think you still have time to get your hands on tickets!” he said, reassuring the other. “it’s probably just too much with champion, yeah? it must be really hard to go all over to do things with champion.”

if anything, jaewon had to commend duri and maverick for how they had shaped their life in a way that allowed them to live out all their domestic dreams without the general public suspecting so much a thing about their relationship. of course, jaewon could hardly complain, he was incredibly happy with how he and soo had arranged things for themselves, wouldn’t want it any other way but something about duri and mav with their large home and handful of pets and what not just felt like the next level. “that makes sense, i’m glad your family takes to them well.” it was a good thing duri had a lot of family members so enarmoured by their pets, those were a lot of little furry friends that needed to be looked after, probably a bit much for one person to take on. “i’m glad your nieces and nephews like playing with them! and that the dogs lke it too, not every dog is a fan of kids.” he smiled. 

▬ song recording with @fmdjaewon

unity’s schedule was pretty light this quarter for which jinyoung was thankful. he could only imagine how stressful it must be for the ones in champion though, their leader included. there is a camera shoved in his face as a staff member asks him why he’s got two bottles of water instead of just one which the lead vocal merely regards with a sneaky grin and ‘I’m just that thirsty’ thrown along with a mischievous laugh to underline his innuendo.

it becomes clear pretty quickly though that as soon as he steps out of the booth again and spots jaewon he tosses the spare bottle straight at his leader, a grin on his lips. “you’re up next right? wanna grab dinner when you’re done?” it was a silent offer to wind down a bit. for all his teasing and loving to cause jaewon to groan anxiously at jinyoung enabling the younger members of unity, the wine aunt of the group still took his time to look out for all of them.

especially their poor, stressed leader.

unity was busy, champion was busy and all around, jaewon was busy. recording multiple releases at the same time while trying to stay on top of everything wasn’t exactly. luckily, for a change, a unity comeback didn’t come with the vast amount of lines and center time for jaewon it usually did, something he was glad about. usually with unity releases, jaewon was nauseatingly front and center, pushed forward so much it felt a bit tacky to the leader. “yeah, dinner sounds good.” he nodded at jinyoung, taking the bottle of water from him. “this shouldn’t be long anyway.” 

as the other conceded, yul couldn’t help the bright, yet slightly smug smile that appeared on his face. of course he was more than aware that jaewon didn’t agree with anything that he said, but he wasn’t really bothered by any of that. in his opinion, the fun only started when he was around and that extended to the daily lives of the unity members; he was there to truly brighten up their lives. “i always sleep soundly, hyung. practically like a baby!” he replied. yul’s attention was focused mostly on the small dog, gently petting her head and giving her little scratches under her chin, before jaewon spoke again. of course yul had considered getting a dog before, but he was always so busy. sure, him and jaewon were equally as busy with champion and unity, but at least samsoo was also there to take care of sagwa. yul lived alone, and most certainly didn’t have any romantic partners to help out. “of course, i’ve wanted a puppy since we lived in the dorms,” he sighed, “but my schedule is always so wild, i’m more than happy getting sagwa cuddles for now.”

even if jaewon acted like he was annoyed with him, yul knew that their relationship was far better than it had been a few years ago. being in unity and living together had helped, but being put into champion seemed to have really created a deeper understanding between them. hell, he’d even spent chuseok last year with jaewon and his grandma instead of his own family. “it’s okay to admit that you love us, hyung! besides, i know deep down you love me the most,” he grinned before adamantly shaking his head, “no, you know i love samsoo hyung’s food! but it’s your birthday! take the opportunity to treat yourself!” and treat yourself is exactly what yul had been trying to get jaewon to do the past few years, if the spa vouchers were enough proof. “i’m an angel, hyung. i never bother anyone.” 

jaewon couldn’t help but laugh quietly under his breath. most of unity had a habit of being slightly annoying but in an endearing way more often than not. “that’s because you are a baby still.” he smiled weakly, softly patting yul’s shoulder for a second. “all of your are, no matter how tough and grown up you all think you are by now.” it was still hard for jaewon, to seperate the younger unity members as they were now from how they had prior to their debut, a bunch of awkward teenagers, yet to grow into their gangly limbs. they had long since passed that point yet jaewon still felt like he saw glimpses of them from time to time. “mhm. i get that. it’s a decision that takes time and consideration. i’m glad you’re being smart and mature about it.” jaewon and samsoo getting a puppy of their own had been a process that had taken a lot of discussion and research on how to best go about it.

duri had always tried to make time to visit the café a lot more often. however, that was something that grew rather hard and continued to grow a bit harder to do. most of the time, he didn’t have anything free within his schedule. if he was free from knight’s schedules, he would have his own schedules to worry about, some type of rehearsal, or preparing for something else. it seemed to be something that was never ending for him, and his hands were constantly full with something. but, he tried really hard, so that was what counted the most, right? he giggles softly, head nodding. “ah, that’s true! plus, he knows the café and he’s always up for seeing my uncle and aunt. the other dogs much rather stay home, they think seeing my uncle and aunt means mav and i won’t be home,” he said with a nod. he giggles once more, however when moose gets another scratch behind the ear. he nodded his head, “ah, that’s true! it’s always better to have company at home.” he said, beaming some more. 

whenever they’d manage to be at a café or restaurant, this was something that would always happen. but, duri wasn’t ever letting up, that was for sure. he’d always be the one to pay for the both of them and that was that. he giggled softly, head shaking a bit. “i know! but, i’m still paying! i should always be the one to pay, i’m the older one. it’s my duty, my responsibility to pay! so, don’t worry about it!” he said, nodding his head a bit firmly. he nodded his head, “the beginning of the tour is in seoul in september. i’m not entirely sure where we’re going after that,” he explained. “i expect we leave korea in october for the rest of tour,” he added. “ah, dimensions really keeps unity really busy, don’t they?” he said, nodding softly. “i know it’s hard, but i hope you’re able to get enough rest, yeah?”

as hectic as things could be, jaewon knew duri always made his most genuine efforts to step by his family as much as he could. surely, duri’s aunt and uncle understood that and would never hold that over him. sadly enough that was just how the idol business worked, always something to do, only just blocking the opportunity to go home and spend time with your family. “hmh, moose is a smart boy isn’t he.” jaewon hummed, gently petting the top of his head once more. by the time duri would go home, moose would probably have been properly spoiled with attention if they kept going at this pace. “are your aunt and uncle the ones that usually look after the dogs when you and mav are on tour and stuff?” thinking about it, it kinda made sense, they were the first people to come to mind. “the dogs must like them a lot by now then no?”

there’s a brief moment after she hands over the flower where suji wonders if she’s made a mistake. however, upon seeing the smile that blooms on his face, she lets out a sigh of relief before sporting a similar grin on her own. “i don’t think it’s weird at all. the best feeling after a concert is coming out of it knowing that you did well,” she says in reassurance. as someone who’s always enjoyed concerts more than anything, she understood what he was feeling. of course, she wouldn’t know the exact feeling since she’s never done one on her own, but she’d like to imagine that one day she can experience the thrill of it all. 

“well, in that case,” she says with a joking tone before bursting out into a soft chuckle. “i’m kidding. there was nothing to critic so don’t worry about it. i’m not really in any position to do so anyway.” the words that jaewon spewed out almost made her feel like she was being put on some pedestal. she was just some other idol, really, and she doubts her words could mean much. “nothing is in plan though i’d love to hold one. maybe they’re waiting for me to release more songs that aren’t just ballads though,” she confesses with a scrunch of her nose. “i can’t imagine performing for almost two hours with pure ballads like some of our seniors. i don’t think i have that presence just yet.”

 truth be told, jaewon was pretty new to allowing himself feel confident or good about anything he did, hence why it usually still went paired with a lingering sensation of guilt, the fear of being self-centered. while he would no doubt overthink it later and continue to feel bad about it some more, for now, jaewon let suji’s words assure him that not only he did a good job but also that he was allowed to actually believe so himself. “yeah- it’s- weird i guess? on the one hand i’m glad that it all went well and i brought it to a good end. on the other it’s, kinda too bad it’s over. i feel like i could’ve done like fifty more shows and not get tired of it.” he admitted. it was hard, exactly formulating his thoughts, on the one hand because he had never been particularly good at that and on the other because it all still find kind of unreal with the adrenline still thrumming in his veins but he was slowly but surely starting to piece it together.

oh my god, he was a complete drag. no offense to her friends in unity, you know, if they happen to have long-distance telepathy and are hearing her thoughts right now, but damn did she feel badly for them being in the same group. even with her own leader being the serious type, she could manage to push a little fun in their conversations. here, it’s like, no duh it’s not actually all that weird that they could be paired up for a company-wide schedule. she was just making small talk. like humans. maybe jaewon was a cyborg underneath all those clothes.

anyway, why stop a conversation when it was just starting to get good? “wait, what do you mean worse than jopping? are you saying you don’t like jopping?” jeonghwa scoffed, though light hearted through her smile. “what isn’t there to like about jopping? do you not like fun? or is it, like, upsetting because sunghee was so cool in it and overshadowed you?”

generally, jaewon wasn’t good at these kinds of things. he cared very little for making new friends, he had friends, albeit a select few but he wasn’t necesarily looking for any more. which meant that dealing with people he was vague aquaintances with was nothing but a drag and a waste of energy. energy that was hard enough to come by. why waste it on someone he had no interest in actually getting close with? as harsh as it sounded, every bit of effort that would go into making idle small talk with jeonghwa would just amount to nothing, jaewon couldn’t afford to be so careless with his social and emotional battery. 

@PARKJW.94 JUST POSTED A PHOTO!

that’s a wrap on the en voyage concerts. thank you for everyone that attended and made these memories together with me, it was a very special moment and i still can’t quite believe so many people came to see me perform all by myself, it has been a dream come true. it was very nice to finally get to perform all these songs that hold a lot of meaning to me.  a big thank you to all the crew and staff who worked very hard to make this happen as well for making sure everything was running smoothly. i will continue to work hard and make more music so please look forward to that and in the meantime please keep rooting for unity. 

yul scoffed in response, turning his nose up at jaewon before paying attention to more important things at hand, which was to give sagwa all the pets and loving she deserved. “oh, come on, hyung,” yul replied, “if you didn’t want me to be here today you wouldn’t have let me in - and besides, it looks like you didn’t have anything better to do anyway other than enjoy having me in your presence. you should feel honoured that i chose to be here of all places.” he gave the little dog a scratch under the chin before turning his attention back to jaewon. “and besides, it’s not like i was here to see you specifically. i’ve come here to see the love of my life, isn’t that right?” at the end of his sentence he turned his attention back to sagwa, laughing at just how cute she was.

at the sound of jaewon laughing, yul scrunched his nose up in similar disapproval. he wasn’t going to rest until jaewon admitted that he was his favourite and he was going to do whatever he could to get to that point. “are you saying that i’m not a man of my word, hyung? i’m offended that you have such little faith in me,” he huffed, “and if everyone did find out about it, it would only to make sure that everyone knows that dominance has been established and that they don’t forget that i’m the favourite. it’s called maintaining my image, hyung.” listening to jaewon’s explanation, he sighed dramatically, leaning further back into the couch. “rotational system? sounds like an excuse so that you don’t have to admit to how fond you are of me.” with another sigh, yul gently ran his fingers through the little dog’s fur, enjoying how soft and sweet she was. “just a dinner? tell me that at the very least you’ll get some fancy food. it’s supposed to be a celebration!” yul’s own birthday was one of his favourite days, so he could never understand those who took a more chill approach. “of course i’ll be there, but you have to give a shout out to me, your favourite son.”

jaewon chuckled tiredly, shaking his head as he conceeded. partially, because yul was kinda right, if jaewon hadn’t wanted the younger there he wouldn’t be there. but for the most part, it was mainly because truly, there was no point arguing with yul, the younger was stubborn and full of himself and jaewon knew he would never settle for anything less than his current outrageous claims. “yeah yeah, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” he just brushed it off, though there was a hint of amusement hidden behind his words. watching the younger absolutely enarmored with the puppy in his lap, jaewon couldn’t help but smile, seeing how fond yul was of sagwa was alwast very sweet. “have you considered getting a dog of your own?” he suggested after a beat of silence. “not that you’re not welcome to come play with sagwa whenever you feel like it but i think... it might be good for you?”

throughout the whole time she was watching jaewon’s concert, suji couldn’t help but wonder how holding her own would feel like. she’s never thought about it before but seeing the crowd that was solely there for jaewon made her wish that gold star would plan a concert for her. perhaps she’d bring it up the next time she met with executives even though she’s quite certain that they won’t be up for anything that doesn’t come out of their heads first. at first, she was hesitant to come to his concert—the idea of fans overanalyzing her appearance spooked her—but she would have regretted not coming. he was a natural on stage, and she’s glad to have been able to see him living it up. 

upon hearing jaewon’s footsteps approach her, she hands over the single flower that she managed to buy before coming over. it felt weird to give him a full out bouquet, but it also felt odd to come empty handed. “congratulations,” she says before giving him a thumbs up. “it was amazing! you did great up there.” the comment may sound generic, but it does come from a genuine place in her heart. “not a disappointment at all. i think your fans really loved it too with the way they screamed throughout the whole thing.”

there was a moment of genuine confusion as suji held the flower out to him. not because the gesture was weird or uncomfortable in any way but simply because it took jaewon by surprise. “oh- thank you- that’s really nice of you.” the smile on his features small though nothing but genuine as he carefully accepted the gift, almost as if afraid to crush it in his hand if not handled with enough care. “thank you, i... have a good feeling about how it went?” jaewon shrugged. “it always feels kind of weird to say these things about yourself but, i did a good job i think, i’m happy with how things went.”

over the last year-ish, jeonghwa had become thoroughly acquainted with photoshoots. being paired up with men for said photoshoots wasn’t a common occurrence, though. thinking about it, it made sense. the company had always been more forgiving of her hanging around men if they were under dimensions, and she was basically the eighth member of unity with how often she hung around the group. pairing her up with a unity member was a ‘safe’ option, that allowed those with fantasies to project, and those pearl clutchers to have an easy out. thinking about it more intensely, jeonghwa didn’t much care either way.

like, they paired her with jaewon of all the unity members. dimensions clearly didn’t pay attention to which of unity she got along with best. whatever. she’d make it work.

she skipped over to where jaewon was speaking with some staff member, and cut in. “hey, did you hear we got paired up? totally weird. but hey, gives me a chance to schmooze up on the leader.” jeonghwa nudged at his arm with her shoulder. “you gonna give me the big inside scoops? spoiler me to hell? -right, yeah, champion’s having a comeback, yeah? i think sunghee mentioned something about that. is it like jopping? i loved that song.”

@fmdjaewon

most members of unity were more sociable than jaewon was. not that that was much of an achievement. but it did mean that jaewon knew a lot of people in passing, faces and names he could connect to being a friend of one of his members without really knowing anything about them on a personal level. 

jeonghwa was one of those people. he’d wager he’d knew her better than most labelmates that he wasn’t really friends with, even if only from the sheer amount of time that she seemed to spend with his members and fragments of conversations he had overheard from time to time. so when the crew informed him he would be paired up with her for the dimensions photoshoot he mainly felt... overwhelmingly neutral about it.

EN VOYAGE the title of jaewon’s very first solo concert. it’s not an opportunity he expects to have, so relatively early intho his career but he is incredibly grateful to be given the opportunity. like the title implies, the concert and marketing surrounding it is heavily-inspired, borrowing it’s inspiration and visuals straight from jaewon’s latest portal solo long flight which was released as a promotional trick in the period building up to the concert. the setlist (as detailed below the cut) contains a total of nineteen songs, most of which jaewon has never gotten to perform live before.

duri had always felt a bit out of place for most of his life. for a long while, home never felt like a place to him. to him, home had been people - home is his uncle and aunt, home is jaewon, home is jaewon’s grandmother, home is maverick. simply put, to duri, that’s how it was, and always had been. however, he has found a home in his current home and for now, that’s apart of what’s home to him, and truly, it does feel nice. 

he always wished that he could stop by his uncle’s and aunt’s café a lot more often. but, of course, his schedules wouldn’t really allow him to be able to do that. he could swear that the dogs and tteokbokki saw them more than he did. but, it was something that was out of his control, and more in the control of how bc would do the schedules. he beamed a bit more as well, before giggling a bunch. he nodded his head, “moose wouldn’t let me leave without him today, especially when he heard where i was going,” duri responded, giggling again. 

“ah, i should have let you know. but, moose was a last minute addition to the plans,” he said, another giggle leaving his lips. “i think moose should be okay, though. he really likes to people watch and he likes to watch out for my aunt and uncle,” he said with a nod. “i’m your hyung, jaewon! let me pay!” he said, giggling a bunch more. “one black coffee will come right up!” he spoke. “i’m been good, really busy with preparing for knight’s upcoming tour and for my own stuff,” he said. “how about you?”

jaewon had always liked the café of duri’s aunt and uncle, it was a warm, comforting place. there were very few pleases jaewon felt as at ease as he did here, the only two he could think of being his grandmother’s place and his own apartment that he shared with samsoo. so he couldn’t even begin to imagine the significance the place held to duri. it was always a shame how they never seemed to have the time to visit the places and people that were dearest to them. “moose must’ve noticed how excited you were to go, dogs pick up on that kind stuff you know?” he offered with an endeared smile, giving the dog by duri’s side another gentle scratch behind his ears. “don’t apologize, like you said, it was a last minute thing. plus now soo has some company at home, that is nice too.”