the ebb and the flow

look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons

life really is a panopticon for some of us. did you know that i reword most of my posts hundreds of times over, try and cover every base, in a vain attempt to make myself palatable to the gawking masses? i speak quietly in public and i don’t make eye contact with the people who stare when i walk past, so as to not attract too much attention. every time i talk about politics or dynamics of oppression, i agonize over my words, try to account for every edge case and individual experience so i am not misinterpreted. i revise and rework and defang my subjectivities for your comfort. i constantly cater to the feelings and sensibilities of people who could at any moment decide they want to ruin my life and leave me with no recourse. i sand down every sharp edge of my transfeminism so as to not make you all upset. i avoid the terms you hate so much, the ones that make you acknowledge the power you hold over me. i bend over backwards and tie myself into knots to be understood.

surprisingly emotionless at times of stress, but remarkably agitated when met with unusual circumstances