ego sum lux mundi

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

official boob post

The thing I dislike about alt histories where real life monarchs have been made both gay and unproblematic is that it seems to imply that gay monarchs have not existed in history but if they did they would be cool. Which isn’t true. They have existed and they were just as bad as straight people. And I think it is disrespectful to real queer history to pretend that queer people have never been absolute bastards

Unfortunately I do actually enjoy pizza and having my butt touched

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

mind palace that was formerly a palace until the ruling family was killed mercilessly for its crimes. and now it's the thinking woman's socialist republic.

Can I be honest with yall I don't want to hear SHIT against cishets at pride this year

"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade

At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever

Also, never forget that not only do we need cishet allies to get anything done, but YOU DON'T KNOW WHO'S CISHET AND WHO'S CLOSETED. The moment you say "no cishets" you also say no to anyone questioning or not out.

beautiful caffeine on an empty stomach I'm going to live forever

my mutuals