Speaking of Doorknobs @speakingofdoorknobs - Tumblr Blog

He looks like I could roll him down a hill and he’d be fine

To this day i think this was my best post

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kat

i had a dream last night that the entire world used a currency (?) called angrypennies which as the name implies are obtained by experiencing anger. the stronger and more intense your anger was, the more angrypennies you'd gain. an all-consuming rage would earn you more than a slight irritation, etc. so people were always searching for ways to fuel their anger and purposefully keeping themselves angry all the time because they wanted to earn angrypennies. unclear if angrypennies could be exchanged for goods and services, or if they were just a collectible.

anyway, as if this wasn't heavy-handed enough, at one point british comedian greg davies appeared and explained that angrypennies couldn't be worth feeling angry all the time. this was a real revelation to dream-me and i was finally able to break free of the angrypenny grind and allow myself to experience emotions other than anger.

kat

it goes without saying that i will be using the word angrypenny as if it was part of the common vernacular instead of a term that my dreaming brain conjured up i.e. "he's all about the angrypennies" (derogatory way to refer to a guy who searches for reasons to be angry and possibly lacks introspection)

#pretty sure the inverse of this is how YouTube monetization works

homunculus-argument

I will never get tired of the big-ass fucking seagull head on the front of Helsinki art museum. I hope they never take it down.

nightbringer24

That is a big-ass fucking seagull head.

homunculus-argument

This is the sort of shit that all public artwork should be. The kind that you can use as a landmark to find your lost buddies. Going like "yeah I'm standing at the front of this building. Under the giant fucking seagull head. You'll know it when you see it."

thatsbelievable

prokopetz

The real divide in the Legend of Zelda fandom is the one between folks who'd be perfectly happy to see Princess Zelda leading a mainline title versus folks who specifically want a mainline game featuring girl!Link.

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mandatoryrollercoaster

This is Progress

persianmom-deactivated20260602

hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard

Went to a scrapyard

gunsandfireandshit

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE

gothcostco

From another article i read today 😭

hustlerose

alt link

rincewindthecheese

he wasn’t even there to be a contestant he joined the crew as a CHINESE TEACHER but the directors noticed his good looks and begged him to compete. poor guy made it to the finals and if he had been one of the winners he would have been contractually forced to be in a boy band whether he wanted to or not

lastvalyrian

this is the closest any human being has ever come to actually being sold to One Direction

detectivehole

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

detectivehole

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

qqueenofhades

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

flavinbagel

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

theterriblethingabouttulio

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

kat-witha-k

This is fucking insane

brightlotusmoon

mod2amaryllis

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

worldheritageposts-official

World Heritage Post

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aphel1on

never stop being obnoxious about fictional character online. you will find like-minded people and it will literally save you

lasesmed

topgunvolleyballscene

how often are you getting a headache

daily

weekly

monthly

couple times a year

yearly or less

Remaining time: 4 days 7 hours

topgunvolleyballscene

how often are you getting a tummy ache

daily

weekly

monthly

every couple months

yearly or less

Remaining time: 4 days 7 hours

topgunvolleyballscene

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

#hot potato (active poll)

imsobadatnicknames2

My favorite joke in Metalocalypse is how as the show goes on it becomes increasingly obvious they’re naming characters with the sole purpose of torturing Mark Hamill.

imsobadatnicknames2

It’s been almost two years since I posted this but here’s a list of the official spelling of every character he introduces here:

Dr. Gibbitz

Dr. Amon Skagerakk Fredrickshaven

Dr. Donald Gorthian

Ronald Von Momnaldberg

Dr. Natasha Nesciantskidovich

Vicenzo de Alimamala Corningston III

Professor Jerry Gustav Mangledink

Horace Marmingblat Wimplestein, Jr.

Dr. Chazz Fazzledopenhoffer

Vater Oorlag

Dr. Milminaman-lanilim-swinwamly

Dr. Gibbitz again (but for some reason it’s spelled “Gibbetz” in the season 2 subtitles)

Melmord Fjordslorn

Dr. Ralphus Galkinsmelter

Dr. Amomolith Chesterfield

Wilmore Unduntingiminen

Dr. Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden

Dr. Imptnin Pmiltson

Dr. Tormindbind Mickmildididindnin

Dr. Krumpworth Chponglasia IV, Jr.

Dr. Borgermu Barret Swingdworth

Dr. Richard Reinhold Rnawighiwowpj

Captain Slufgyflaysid

Dr. Bartholomew Grahsrihajul

Dr. Alsajahb Fifborgiltk

Dr. Fsmilejera Irlelwoll

Dr. Commander Vernmim Chuntspinkton

imsobadatnicknames2

Like I just love how you can pinpoint “Ninmiltrid Fmiltindryden” as the exact moment the joke went from making Mark Hamill say funny but still vaguely name-shaped words to forcing that poor man to pronounce straight up keysmashes out loud.

moringmark

#kog #knights of guinevere

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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cuntaloupes-deactivated20241215

by tumblr standards i'm a well-adjusted normie. by normie standards i'm a nutjob. what is the truth

#well-adjusted nutjob

kissycat

Has anyone noticed that translating poetry is not easy

kissycat

It's kind of like if you were in unrequited love with the crossword puzzle

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