Mike Driver

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

oozey mess
h
occasionally subtle


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@speakingofdoorknobs

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(from MCU: The Reign of Marvel Studios)
If a manager ever tried this shit on me I would get a real baseball bat and go full Travis the Chimpanzee
A books cartoon for The Guardian from a while back
There's an above zero possibility that someone you know may one day casually say some shit like "I don't get why people like potatoes, I'd never eat them voluntarily, they just taste like vaguely bitter watery dirt and if you like the texture, you could literally just eat an apple instead" and that's how you find out that nobody in their family knows that you're supposed to cook them first.
This is literally already how people talk about tofu 😭

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Okay, fiiiiine. We can do Brutalist Neo-Gothic for the next dungeon theme – on one condition: for every giant inscrutable concrete human face you add, I get to add a giant inscrutable concrete human ass.
...Fine, but they better be actually inscrutable. I was able to scrute the human asses you put in our last dungeon with relative ease.
Crepuscular? I hardly know her.
PLEASE explain the Latin fuck words. for science
Okay so. The Romans think that sex doesn't count as real sex unless Someone Is Getting Penetrated By A Dick Or Dick-Adjacent Object. Very sort of dick-centric system.
So Latin has six words for "to fuck", divided into three pairs: one pair for each of the possible Holes (ass, mouth, pussy). In each pair there is a word for topping and a word for bottoming.
Most people who know a little about Latin fuck verbs know 'pedicare' and 'irrumare' from the first line of Catullus 16 (Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō), which is a poem about saying "absolutely shut the fuck up and piss all the way off" to fandom antis and purity police who are making repulsive accusations about you personally, based on things they're reading into your work from a bad-faith perspective. Catullus was so real for that and it's incredibly endearing to me that he was dealing with the same thing we are still dealing with. I got a hater in my askbox doing this about The Wisdom of Emperors just the other day, but I took the high road and, unlike Catullus, did not tell them "I will assfuck you and I will facefuck you" So here sort of a chart about the verbs: Topping | Bottoming Mouth: irrumare | fellare Ass: pedicare | cevere Cunt: futuere | crisare
Another fun fact related to the fuck verbs was that the Romans didn't think about sexual orientation in terms of who you're attracted to, they thought about it in terms of "which is your favorite hole and what do you like to do with it." So you'll get graffiti (ancient roman subtweeting) about things like "Marcus is a fututor [cunt-fucker] and a pedico [ass-fucker] but omg girlies I also heard he's a fellator [cock-sucker] 👀👀👀👀" In the modern day we'd just call him bisexual, but in Ancient Rome it is not enough to know if someone is bisexual (they think it's kind of perverted if a man only fucks women, like do you have some kind of freaky pussy fetish???? you've never once even fucked a twink??? dat's gay, bro. gay to not be bi), you also have to know if he's being bisexual in a respectable sort of way
You will notice that pussy-eating is not on this list, because those words do not mean "to fuck", they translate more directly to just "pussy-licking" (cunnilingus), and because the Romans are sexist as all hell and think that's gross and filthy anyway. This is not ONLY because of pussy terror, it's also that the mouth is the most sacred part of the body -- so eating pussy or sucking a dick is actually considered slightly more "shameful" than getting fucked in the ass. (Please note as well that the fuck verbs are gender neutral -- if you're a roman man and your girlfriend owns a strap-on, she can [pedicare] you. but be careful because your sworn enemy in the forum will have a fucking FIELD DAY if he hears about that and will write a Mean Poem about you or subtweet you on a public wall)
The moral of this story is that the Ancient Romans were absolutely *GAGGING* for social media (see Martial's Epigrams, aka My Best Tweets), and the second moral of this story is that if this was a fun post for you, you should look at my kickstarter for alllllll of this kind of nonsense in the form of A Fantasy Novel That's Pretending To Be An Academic Paper With A Fake Bibliography And Foonotes aka The Wisdom of Emperors. And please signal boost this so everyone can know about Latin Fuck Verbs and Roman Subtweeting, we've really learned so much here together

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Forging ship anchor chains
Pip Makes Pottery
the irony in how much obi wan hated politicians only for his number one most hated in the senate to be a sith lord...... and he can’t even go “I told u so” to anyone bc anakins on the dark side and all the jedi are dead
obi wan, standing in front of the force ghosts: you’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today
obi wan, dragging out a chalkboard with a compilation of all the times he said not to trust politicians, direct quotes along the lines of “maybe palpatine should not be allowed council with my underage padawan”, and a big picture of darth sidious in the middle: let’s get started
its crazy that the old british boys school model actually existed and wasn’t invented as some sort of upper class gay guy bdsm thing
british boys boarding school is the closest an actually existing society has ever been to what i have heard of a/b/o
Hieronymus is a first person shooter game where you explore the world of Hieronymus Bosch's paintings. Currently in development by Hurdy-Gurdy Games.

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For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.
#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME
it must also be shittable
Unmute !
For those who can’t see/hear:
The video opens a door to an outside industrial plant-like area. Snow is on the ground and there is otherwise some miscellaneous noise of factory work going on.
Then the person behind the camera lets off an “OooOOO AH AH” ie the typical monkey sound.
Suddenly the air is filled with the cries of the humans imitating this monkey sound. No one is seen this entire time. You just hear the cries of people imitating monkeys.