i want the fat to melt off my bones to leave being an empty skeleton

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@fluffyybones
i want the fat to melt off my bones to leave being an empty skeleton

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ed sugar crave hack:
i often find when iâm going through my silly little ed shenanigans i am craving sugar, because my starving body is desperate for energy.
and often unfortunately this is followed by a binge of sugary foods and boom there goes all my hard work.
so i am really embodying the phrase âfight fire with fire,â by using sugar itself to prevent a big scary binge.
here in the uk its often referred to as icing sugar or bakerâs sugar, not sure what its referred to in the us but your local supermarkets brand will do fine, i use sainsburys:
one tsp is 20 calories, which may seem like a lot, but hear me out, combined with a liquid of choice, my go to is lemon juice, but water works fine of course.
take your however many number of tspâs of icing sugar you want, i usually do 3-4 (60-80 kcals) and then add a tsp of lemon juice at a time until i get the desired consistancy.
usually it comes out around 62/82kcals which is an absolute godsend compared with my steamroller-like binging of 1000+ kcals in the evening.
and boom my sugar craving is gone!! :)
but wait, it gets even better:
with the literal powdered sugar i just consumed, i am now extremely thirsty and down about 1-2 pints of water after, making my hunger completely vanish and making mr scary binge man stay away.
(i am not pro ana and i really encourage recovery, for obvious reasons your body cannot solely rely on icing sugar, i use this method in order to stop worse destructive binging and purging patterns)
if iâm distant itâs because i hate myself not because i hate you
iâm back :)
How do you fall back in love with life?
clean your room. Â clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesnât have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. Â clean the dishes. Â sweep. Â take out the trash. Â peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. Â take a long shower. Â scrub behind your knees. Â brush your teeth. Â (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. Â the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. Â it doesnât need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you donât usually write in, or that you havenât touched in a while. Â fuck moleskins. Â the yellow legal pad will work fine. Â sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. Â count clouds. Â describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. Â sketch the cracks in the walls. Â note the shape light makes when it enters a space. Â talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. Â what sounds are there? Â even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. Â remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. Â remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. Â your world is fathomless. Â it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isnât processed. Â it does not need to be fancy. Â buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. Â eat it outside. Â if youâre someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. Â take your fucking meds. Â remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. Â your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesnât change its inherent worth and splendor. Â take care of it.
read a novel. Â underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. Â read a novel like itâs poetry. Â read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. Â watch a movie you havenât seen before. Â if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. Â take your time. Â let yourself bask. Â if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down â marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. Â remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. Â the love has no obligation. Â it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. Â you are not a burden. Â if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. Â when they need you, listen and be gracious. Â always be gracious. Â the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. Â link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. Â listen to something that you donât usually listen to. Â we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. Â we are falling in love again. Â the soundtrack needs to be specific to that. Â
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. Â press flowers in old books. Â play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. Â dance in your room. Â wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldnât wear it in public. Â write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. Â write poetry, even awful poetry. Â revel in its awfulness. Â eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market. Â
reblogging for myself because life has been beating me down lately

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i bought some shorts with my friend from h&m and theyâre a size 4 and i was so embarrassed when we got home and they didnât fit me
accountability thread!!
everyday or as often as possible i will be adding my cw, daily intake and cals burned/ steps here.
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july 1st // cw:136
yesterday my irl bestie tells me she thinks sheâs bulimic, tries to compete with me and then tells me she doesnât think my ed is that bad because iâm not that thin.
iâve gained weight and i want to chuck myself under a bus someone beat my ass pls

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iâm not vain. when i know the numbers have gone down, it simply manages to ease my pain.
my ed makes me feel safe. she calms my anxiety, makes me feel in control, gives me motivation but heaven forbid she ever leaves me alone...
girl at work was being mean to me and my first internal thought was atleast iâm not fat asf bitch
this is the offical âi careâ symbol this is how it works: basically you reblog this and your followers know that you care and that they can message you about anything anon or not and you will reply back or at least look at there message. if you care about your followers please reblog
â¤ď¸
tired

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self care for when you hit rock bottom
i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so hereâs one from someone who Actually Gets It
-canât shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.
-canât wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.
-canât even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you canât, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.
-canât make anything to eat? same. if you can, thereâs no shame in ordering food. in fact, itâs probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you canât, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.
canât respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once youâve given yourself time to prepare. if theyâre Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, donât feel bad for sending a mass âIâm sorry, Iâm in a personal emergency right now. Iâll get back to you as soon as I can.â response to everyone.
-canât even sleep because itâs so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.
-canât go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. youâre still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)
-canât go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know itâs an emergency and you canât make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.
-canât brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. donât let yourself physically rot bc youâre rotting emotionally.
-remember that youâve been here before. if you survived then you can survive now. thatâs what this is about- survival. you donât have to be living your Best Life. right now, itâs more than enough that youâre alive.
This is the only self car masterpost Iâve ever seen that is feasible for severe depressive episodes
Wwwwwoooowww needed this
Thisss
This is some stuff iâve done bc i thought it was the very least i could do but honestly, those other lists that Say stuff that i couldnât do Made me feel a lot worst than better. But it took me a lot of time to figure it out, so, here⌠Have it, bc i know some people needs it
Didnât even know I needed this so fucking much
if you can, braid your hair or get someone else to do it for you itâll stop it getting matted. buying fun / kids bath products also helps me have a bath.
i have a full on crush on this girl at work ://// help