*becomes everything I dreamed of when I was little and almost doesn’t notice*

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du

shark vs the universe

pixel skylines
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Cosimo Galluzzi
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

bliss lane
YOU ARE THE REASON

oozey mess
NASA

PR's Tumblrdome
Jules of Nature

JVL
RMH
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Show & Tell

Kiana Khansmith
seen from Hong Kong SAR China

seen from Netherlands

seen from United States
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seen from Japan

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seen from Bangladesh

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@fluffythevixen
*becomes everything I dreamed of when I was little and almost doesn’t notice*

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“therians don’t actually bite people!!!”
i do
show this to ur friends w no context
I don’t have context but I really doubt that it would help
this is my favorite video evcer whats going on

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<3_<3
MRRROOWWWWRRRRRRRR
The moral of the story is when a hot lesbian vampire kills your boyfriend and gives you the chance to become her immortal lover, you absolutely take it :D
The Shibari Game
At a conference/festival last year, there was a Shibari workshop on the schedule for some reason, although the topic of the event was prediction markets. This led to the following exchange (all names changed):
Adam (who at the time was basically a stranger to me): Hmm, "Shibari"... What is that, some kind of Jewish ritual?
Me: No, it's-
Barbara: EVERYONE SHUT UP! Ok. Nobody tell this man what shibari is.
Everyone: ...?
Barbara: We’re playing 20 questions.
Thus began what was by far the best game of 20 questions I have ever witnessed. There were... appreciably more than 20 questions.
[literally ten minutes of questions later]
Adam: Ok, so! Shibari... is a Japanese social export, it's an activity somebody does, it's in some way artistic, it does not involve drawing, it does not involve writing, it involves an inorganic object and an organic object, and... the organic object is a human, right?
Everyone: Right
Adam: And the inorganic object...
Barbara: Well...
Chris: The inanimate object
Adam: The inanimate object, which, oh, which is organic, which suggests that it's clothes... Is the inanimate object clothing?
Everyone: No
Me: To clarify, the inanimate object is always organic in terms of 'organic chemistry', but might or might not be, like, made from biological material
Adam: Ok. And so, you have an inanimate object, and you have a person... The person does not have to do anything during the... shibari activity. You are doing a manipulation to the inanimate object, with the person, for purposes that are fun... Is it for the entertainment of a group?
Barbara: Could be? ...
Adam: So it could be for the entertainment of a group, but it could be for the entertainment of the individuals?
Everyone: Right
Adam: Ok. The inanimate object - the equipment - right? It is not specialised, but is a common object, correct?
Everyone: yeah
AI
Adam: Does it have anything at all to do with AI?
Everyone: [laughter] No
Adam: I had to check. In this setting, everything turns back to AI at some point
Me: I would say no
Frank: Not yet!
Me: Right, not yet. But yeah, 'No' is definitely the answer to that one
George: I trust Rob Miles on this
Barbara: As an expert in shibari?
Frank: As an expert in AI Shibari. I think that's what it's called.
Chris: Oh, yeah it kind of is!
Can one shibari by accident?
Adam: Ok. Is it something that one might do without knowing that it is shibari?
Everyone: [cacophony of disagreement]
Me: Interesting question!
Frank: Very interesting question.
Barbara: It's totally plausible that someone would do something that would qualify as shibari without knowing the Japanese artform
Me: Yeah, and they might also have seen things about it but not know the name of it
Chatting during shibari
Adam: Does it involve talking?
Everyone: No, not necessarily
Adam: God Dammit. Agh, I thought it might be... talking using some prop or something
Barbara: For me it always involves talking, but it's...
Adam: One doesn't have to?
Barbara: It's just 'cause I don't stop talking
[laughter]
Adam: And it doesn't involve betting markets in any way?
Everyone: No
How technologically advanced is shibari equipment?
Adam: Ok. Is the object technologically difficult to make?
Everyone: No
One guy: Yes
Everyone: What? No it isn't!
Adam: Is it only available in an industrialised economy?
Everyone: No
That one guy again: Yes!
Everyone: NO!!!
The guy: No, you're right, I'm sorry... But it is difficult to make
George: Every object is difficult to make!
Barbara: Maybe you're confused about what shibari is
Ed: Yeah, you should be up there with Adam
Adam: Would it have been available before industrialisation?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Ok. Um... is it a stick?
Everyone: It's not a stick
No cheap tricks allowed
Adam: I feel like I'm gonna get close to covering everything...
Me: I feel like we were very close just now, when you were like "Well what could this object be?"
Adam: Ok so the object is important. It's... before industrialisation... Does it begin with a letter before-
Everyone: No, no, we're not doing that. N/A
Adam: Ok so it starts with an N and an A...
[laughter]
What is this dang object?
Adam: Ok... so... is the object artificially pigmented?
Everyone: Can be, but not necessarily
Adam: Is it commonly painted?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it commonly dyed?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Ok, is it something that it's very common to dye in other purposes?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Does it involve a vegetable, of some kind?
Everyone: ...No?
Adam: Does it involve a plant?
Everyone: [confusion about what 'involve' means]
George: The object can have... some relation to a plant
Me: eehhh, that's more confusing than helpful. We already said that it can be biologically derived
Adam: But it would have been available before industrialisation?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: So it's got to be something that is... around. Is it something that requires human modification to make into the form we know and love?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Uh.. does this processing require specialised skill?
Everyone: Yeah, some skill for sure
Adam: Would I be able to do it? Like, without training?
Everyone: Probably not
Ed: On a long enough time horizon you'd figure it out, but the answer is basically no
Adam: Like, you throw me in with the tools to make it and say "come out in an hour", could I...
Everyone: No, probably not
Adam: But other people would be able to make it in an hour?
Everyone: Yeah, with the right skills
It’s not a weapon
Adam: Does it involve a weapon of any kind?
Everyone: No.
George: How creative are you allowed to-
Everyone: The answer's no
What shape is the object?
[long pause]
Adam: Well... does anyone else have any questions?
Barbara: You're asking such good questions though!
Ed: Yeah you're doing a good job
Danielle: I think you should ask more questions about the shape of the object
Everyone: Oh, great suggestion
Adam: Ok, is it spherical?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it cylindrical?
Everyone: Yyeeaahh, sort of, yeah.
Adam: So it's not a pure cylinder but it's cylindrical-ish?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Is it an ovaloid?
Everyone: No.
Adam: Is it an ellipsoid?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it uh... hmm... But it's longer than it is wide?
Everyone: Yes!!!
[scattered applause, we're close now]
Adam: Is it a plank of wood?
Everyone: No!!!
Barbara: It still isn't that!
Frank: No, his previous guess was stick
Adam: Yeah, a plank of wood requires processing and I couldn't make it... like it fits a lot of the other questions
Barbara: No you're right, that's fair, I'm convinced. It is a plank of wood.
Where is the object?
Adam: Could I find it inside a building or outside a building?
Everyone: Yes...
Adam: Wait. I mean. Ok, can you find it in a bathroom?
Everyone: Not really
Adam: Can you find it in a kitchen?
Everyone: Probably not
Adam: Can you find it lying on the ground?
Everyone: Yeah possibly
Adam: Is it something that people commonly use?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: Is it something that people would pick up if they saw it lying there?
Everyone: Nah
It’s really not a weapon
Adam: Is it something that is dangerous at all?
Everyone: Can be, but not especially
Adam: Is any part of it sharp?
Everyone: No
Adam: Can any part of it fragment?
Everyone: [???]
Adam: Like, is it brittle?
Everyone: No
Adam: So it's firm?
Everyone: No
Adam: Is it flexible?
Everyone: Yes!!
Adam: Ok! Is it a pool noodle?
Everyone: [laughter]
Adam: Which is cylindrical, flexible, and organic, dyed but not painted...
Everyone: No, we're so proud of you, you're doing great
Me: But we did say "pre-industrial"
Pinning down the object
Adam: Ok ok. Is it a solid?
Everyone: Yes
Adam: Is it any of the solid hybrids, like a colloid or a gel?
Everyone: No
Adam: Does it retain its shape after being bent?
Everyone: Uh... yes?
Adam: So it doesn't spring back with any force?
Everyone: No, it doesn't spring back
Adam: Ok... so... Is it Japanese in origin, or is it found around the world?
Everyone: [assorted contradictory statements]
Me: The origin of the practice is Japan, but the origin of the object is all over
Adam: Is the object put on a person?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Is the object... um... is the object rope?
Everyone: YES!!
[scattered applause]
Me: The object is rope!
Adam: Ok!
Me: Now bring it home
Bringing it home?
Adam: Are things hung upon the rope?
Everyone: Uuuuummmmmm. Ambiguous? No.
Adam: Is the rope itself... does the rope look good?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Ok! Is this putting-on... a mark of esteem?
Everyone: No?? ???
[laughter]
Adam: So the object is a rope, and you're putting the rope on somebody
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: You're... putting rope on somebody!
Everyone: Yeah!
Adam: Is that... is that not the practice?
Everyone: No, no, it is, it is!
[confused cheering. Are we done?]
We’re not done
Chris: But, no, come on, there's more to it!
Ed: You're missing something critical!
Chris: You're so close!
Adam: Ok. Do you... hang someone?
Everyone: [strongly conflicting opinions]
Barbara: Only if you're doing it extremely wrong
Adam: Ok. But you can tie knots?
Everyone: YES!
Adam: Ok! Do you tie... is it a bracelet of some-
Everyone: No!
Adam: So it's not an adornment of any kind...
Everyone: Well...
Where on the body?
Adam: Is it put on your neck?
Chris: No
Danielle: Well, can be...
Adam: On your head?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On a limb?
Everyone: Yeah
Adam: It's on a limb
Me: Not exclusively
Adam: On an arm?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On a leg?
Everyone: Can be
Adam: On... uh... I've run out of limbs...
What does it mean?
Adam: Ok, it's rope, you put it on somebody, it's Japanese in origin... does it... signify something?
Everyone: Not really
Adam: Hmm. Do you tie the rope in a loop?
Everyone: ...Yeah??
Adam: I'm wondering, is it the casting of ropes upon people, like uh...
Chris: It's not a lasso, no
Frank: I like the idea of shibari as, like, a carnival game...
Barbara: I'm unclear on what the win condition is here...
Ed: I feel like there is a really important component that we haven't got yet
Everyone: Yeah, when he gets that component, he’s won
Are people into shibari?
Adam: Hmm... Did you find yourself fired by enthusiasm to do it upon being told about it?
Several people: Yes
Me: Personally no, but...
[laughter]
Adam: So it has mixed appeal?
Barbara: That is absolutely correct
Can one shibari... too hard?
Adam: Is it um, does it involve the tying of knots?
Everyone: YES
Adam: Ok. Are there knots that are peculiar to shibari?
Everyone: yeah
Adam: Is the learning of knots, or the tying of knots upon other people the important part?
Everyone: Uh... yes?
Adam: Do you tie someone up and they attempt to escape?
Everyone: Uh, not necessarily, but like, often.
Me: Yes is closer than no, I think
Adam: Ok, you tie rope on someone. Do you have to use some sort of special rope for it? Can you use any rope?
Barbara: You can use any rope, but some are better than others
Adam: So you wouldn't want to use any rough ropes, or...
Danielle: No, you do, that's actually preferred
Adam: You prefer rough ropes?
Chris: Some do
Frank: It depends
Danielle: Natural fibers tend to be rougher
Adam: Does it chafe?
Danielle: It can, but ideally not
Adam: Would you do it even if you were injured in the process of doing it?
Frank: No
Barbara: You would not want that to happen generally
Adam: Uh... Does it look cool?
Everyone: Yes!!
Origami?
Adam: So you're tying knots that look cool... is it like an origami for knots?
Everyone: [confused disagreement]
Ed: It's not about the knots
Chris: It's totally about the knots!
Frank: It's all about the cones...
Adam: Like, in origami you fold paper in ways that look cool, maybe you tie knots in ways that look cool?
Everyone: [loud disagreement]
Diagnosing the problem
[long long pause]
Chris: Ask the question in your heart!
Adam: ...Neckties?
Everyone: No?
Barbara: I keep thinking "But, he already has it", and then he asks a question that makes me say "No, he doesn't have it at all"
Frank: I think there's a question you want to ask, but you're not...
Everyone: Yeah
Chris: Yeah, ask the question that you don't want to ask
Danielle: I don't think he has the question...
Adam: Would it cause any gratification in someone?
Everyone: Yes!
Adam: Would it... Would it cause sexual gratification?
Everyone: Yes!!
Adam: Is it a practice... under the category of kink?
Everyone: Yes!!!
Adam: Is it tying somebody up for bondage purposes?
Everyone: YEAH!!! [Pandemonium, hollering, applause, Adam is lifted above the cheering crowd]
After the hearty congratulations were done, I wandered off, elated from the experience, and I bumped into a group of friends.
"Friends!" I said, "I just had the funniest experience. This guy didn't know what 'shibari' was, so we-"
"Shibari?" a friend interjected, "What is that, like, a Jewish building?"
"OK EVERYONE SHUT UP" I said.
jerk before bed = clearing your head
bed before jerk = how does this work
TADC SPECIFIC SCENE SPOILER DO NOT PEEK UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE EPISODE!
if kinger went into the circus in 1996 that means he doesn’t know about 9/11

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i had a dream about kris
bad apple but it's a sorting algorithm
Hypothetically
Your roommate comes home in a huff. She angrily takes off her shoes and slams the door to her room.
You knock, “Hey, you okay?”
You get no response. You know she was just met with a guy she met on Grindr. Maybe it didn’t turn out well? You knock again.
“If you don’t answer me, I’m coming in.” You warn her.
“Leave me alone.” You hear through whimpered sobs. She’s crying.
“Do you need a hug?” You ask through the door.
Click!
The door opens. Behind the doorway is the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen. But you’re not surprised, you live with her. You’re blessed with her beauty everyday.
She turns around and sits on her bed.
You follow.
You sit down and wrap an arm around her. “Tell me what’s going on.”
She leans into you. Her hair smells amazing, the strawberry conditioner she uses fused with the baseline scent of her sweat makes your heart flutter.
But! This is not the time for those feelings. She’s straight, and she needs a friend right now.
“It just seems like all the guys I meet, just see me as an effeminate man.” She says into your shoulder.
“Did something happen today on your date?” You ask.
“No… I mean.” She gestures in frustration. “He tried to come on to me but all he talked about was my penis. No compliments no flirting to me as a person, just another fucking chaser.”
You’d treat her right.
“You’re lucky your a lesbian.” She says. “Guys can be such dicks.”
Yeah lucky… you’d be even more lucky if she was a lesbian too. Instead you’re stuck yearning for something you’ll never have.
“Say… I’m curious, what would it be like to be with a woman?” She asks looking up at you. Her eyes glistened as she stared at you like a puppy.
Is she really asking this? You’ve dreamed about this ever since she moved in.
“I can’t speak for all women, so I can’t be sure. All I can tell you is how I’d treat you.” You say without thinking. “Hypothetically of course.” You try to save yourself.
She blushes and looks away towards her wall.
There’s a minute of silence.
“Hypothetically right?” Your roommate asks.
“I mean yeah. Why do you want me to tell you how I’d treat you?” You ask the beautiful woman in your arms.
She twiddles her fingers in her lap.
“Y-yeah, hypothetically of course. How would you treat me hypothetically.” She says
You’ve thought of this for so long.
“Well first,” you begin, “I’d look at you and I wou-“
She interrupts you by shifting to turn back to look at you.
Your heart starts to beat in double-time. You smile a sweet reassuring grin towards her.
“I would tell you that you are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.” You move your hand to cup her face.
“I would shower you with compliments. Like how your smile brightens my day. That no matter how ugly a piece of clothing is you always manage to make it look sexy.”
“Hypothetically?”
“Of course sweetheart, hypothetically… can I continue?” You ask
She nods.
Is her face beginning to get red? God she’s cute.
“I’d take my finger.” You say extending your finger.
“And I would slowly scrape it around the back of your ear.” You hover your finger over her ear and mime out the motions.
“I would then lower my finger down your neck.” You move your finger down. Still hovering, never touching.
“Y-you can touch me. You’re my best friend you can like touch me with your finger you know, it’s just like a hand shake. I’ve touched your hands before you know.” She babbles trying to justify you touching her.
“I thought we were doing hypothetically?” You ask.
“Y-yeah!!” She spurts out.
“You want me to touch you… hypothetically?” A question that barely makes sense at this moment comes out of your mouth.
All she does is nod with her beat red face.
You place your finger right under her ear. Slowly you move it south, to her collarbone.
Does she think you can’t feel her shiver with every move? Is she really even straight? God she is so cute.
“I wouldn’t stop commenting on you. On your cute bubbly smile,” you move your finger back up her neck. “Your perky tits. your fat ass.”
Her eyes open wider than you’ve ever seen. You think she’s about to say something but your finger has finished it’s journey.
You rest your finger right over her mouth. Touching her soft lips. She looks conflicted.
“Don’t worry… it’s all hypothetical.” You tease her.
She gives you a nod and envelops your finger into her mouth.
“I would call you endearing pet names, like princess.” You see her hips jerk. “Huh? You like that princess?”
You hear her moan on your finger. You want to take this further. You need to take this further. You need her to realize this too. A devious smile grows across your face.
“Why don’t you be a good girl for me and lay down for me?” You say patting the bed your both sitting on with your free hand.
You pull your finger out of her mouth with a POP!
You swear to god you hear her whine before she catches herself. But you hear it.
“Hypoth-“ she begins to say.
“Maybe.” You tell her.
She lays down anyways.
You move on top of her holding her wrists.
“I said maybe.” You state. “What if this isn’t hypothetical? Huh?”
She blushes and tries to look away.
You grab her face and make her look at you.
“It’s your turn now. Tell me. Hypothetically… what do you want me to do to you.”
“Uhm!!! Uhm!!! Uhhh!!!!” She’s too flustered to get words out.
“Come on Princess~ use your words. You can still do that right?” You speak down at her.
“C-could you… could you,,,”
“Could I what? Speak.” You bark at her.
“Could you kiss me?!?” She finally speaks. Aww that’s so cute.
You release her hands and roll over.
“And why would I kiss a straight girl?” You say with the biggest smile growing across your face.
“Huh!!?!” She gasps. “No that isn’t fair!!!” She reaches over toward you and balls your shirt beneath her hands.
“Please???? Please kiss me!!! Please!!!!” She looks up at you pleading. Her cute puppy dog stare almost makes you relent. But no… she needs to learn.
“No. I’m not kissing a straight girl.” You say sitting up.
“Wait no! Don’t get up!!!! I… really want to kiss you though…” she says looking down bashfully.
“So?” You almost chuckle at how pathetic she’s being. “Shame you don’t like women, I would’ve really loved kissing you.” You say nailing the final nail in.
“FINE!” She screams at you. “I like w-women. I like you… now will you please kiss me???” She looks back up at you. Tears welling up in her eyes.
There’s just one more thing.
“Hypothetically?” You ask looking her deep into her eyes.
“No… not hypothetically.” She answers.
You grab her crying face and open her lips with yours. Your tongues dance. Your tongues fight to fill each others mouth.
Finally, you two are connected.

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wait hold up why does the steven universe theme have the same chord progression as creep
Who would win?
🐎
🦀
voter fraud, GO!
🐎
🐎
Notes:
Second poll will remain open until 50 years from publishing
Bot options share a UUID, making a vote for either count for both
Previously, a vote in the first poll counted for both options in the second
A vote for the second poll increases the vote count for both polls, despite the first ostensibly being closed
I think if you look closely at the results you will actually find that the horsie is simply just more popular than the crab. Nothing more to it
Hey why do poll options have UUIDs
this site's backend needs to be studied