it's friday once again every day for me

youre very lucky that I was holding back when I struck you with great force

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

i think you should be able to emoji react to MyChart lab results

Your uncle was hunted by puppets that is crazy I actually had two uncles who got hunted by puppets and they got hunted without any smoked meats or puppet knives to defend themselves so I basically know what you're talking about but even better when you think about it and I come from a proud lineage of puppet huntlets but yeah I totally get what you are saying even if you say it less beautifully than I me

I know this is meant to be funny but it actually makes such a good point about how ADHD and executive dysfunction can impact people in really major ways, including financially

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.

being at a level 1 cooking skill in real life means you can do stupid shit like mix a bunch of kraft mac and cheese powder into a bag of microwaved popcorn and feel like stewie from ratatouille

not stewie. i meant the rat. the rat from ratatouille. stewie is the stupid baby from family guy. sorry i fucked this up, post cancelled

Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag