gravity’s dirty little slut

one of my favorite twitter accounts that is defunct now is it was this account called like Crazy Optical Illusions or something and they would just post popular optical illusions but edit them so they werent optical illusions anymore and they would just pretend and people would be very confused / angry in the comments

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

had a dream that i brought a used paper towel roll back to the store to pay for it again because it was so useful. cashier was like "most people don't do this. you're a good person" true

[completely misunderstood the story] I always interpreted it as a sort of found family narrative myself. Like the frog is the scorpion's baby and she loves him very much :)

lying in front of the street cleaner

did the street cleaner believe you?

it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people