florida boyd

That due to your own inner shadows and selfishness you deserve terrible things to have happened. You lash yourself to the narrative as a villain as a method of taking control over the banal awfulness of a life that can sometimes take wrong turns for no reason. No reason is maddening. The lack of control over your circumstances has no false relief quite like coming to the conclusion that you deserved it all because of something deep inside of yourself.

(“Something… something had changed.”)

But existing as this reprehensible figure has consequences of skewing you as an outsider, and unable to make connections.

(“I have to warn you—” “Yeah, Captain?” “Consider yourselves warned.”)

It becomes more and more difficult to separate bad things happening and your involvement in them. But joy of all joys that Boyd gets to externalize his pain and self-hatred into Ives. He can see himself in him and understand where/why he is evil and awful because these are all conclusions he has to come to about himself.

Some of the work I’ve been reading details BDSM/self harm as methods of achieving heroism via suffering as a means to secure your place in becoming a good person.

(Boyd gazing at the bear trap before he confronts Ives)

I do feel like it is the CPTSD sufferer’s darkest ideal to have confirmation that not only are they evil/bad and deserve bad things but that their sole way of fixing this, the pain of being this way/the pain of being unalterable in your own misery, is to achieve a heroic act of self-sacrifice in death.

I finally got around to uploading stuff to archive.org, so come and get it! The linked list includes:

The original screenplay (not uploaded by me)

The three commentary tracks from the DVD

The deleted scenes from the DVD, including with commentary from director Antonia Bird

Scans of the press kit, including Cooking with Friends, the informational booklet, and the promotional stills