unapologetically thirsty

I am a (penetrative) virgin, so even after all of what we did, we never went all the way so to speak. He was my boyfriend at the time, his name started with an ‘A’ so that’s just what I’m gonna call him. We had been dating for not very long at this point, maybe 2/3 weeks or so, and this was the first time we got to explore each other. Not only that, but it was his first time with a boy. This was about 2.5 years ago at this point. I remember some of the stronger details. A weird thing my brain does is cling on to extremely random details. There will probably be a lot of “if I remember correctly” and “I think”, but for the most part I do remember what happened. (There’s probably going to be lovey-dovey details because that did, unfortunately, stick with me.)

Author's note: someone I sent this to for proofreading said I wrote like I was ‘still in love with him’ so let me be clear. I no longer have feelings for this person but despite that I still look back upon the situation with fondness. It was the first and only sexual thing I’ve ever done, so when someone talks to me about sex or sexual things, this is all I have to look back on. Or maybe I’m writing like I’m in love with me because I was recalling how I was feeling at the time because I did really like the time we had together.

Second authors note: the first half is buildup. If you don’t like it just skip down about halfway.

He had gotten to my house sometime in the afternoon, maybe 2 p.m. or so. My mom didn’t know we were dating. I was 18. I was always a good kid, so my mom accepted that I was having a friend over for a sleepover. Although if I was inviting one boy, it would be suspicious. So I told her 2 people were coming. One cancelled last minute, but the other was already on his way, so why make him turn around?? :P At this point in my life, I had just moved away from all of my friends, so he was making a 2-hour or so trek to come and see me.

I remember the first thing I did was stick my head out of my front door and gave him a cute little smirk before grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. I dragged him to my room after introducing him to my mom and shut my door behind us. A big, long hug immediately followed the door shutting. We were about the same height, and I can still remember the feeling of his chin digging into my shoulder blade. My heart was going crazy because HE was at my house, and I figured he deserved to know that. So, naturally, I took his hand, ran it up underneath the hoodie I was wearing until my hand was pressing his against my chest where my heart was. We stood like that for longer than we should have. He took his shoes off, put his bag down, and took out a shirt that I had requested from him. (I have a thing for scents and musk, so I asked him to bring me a used shirt to put on the stuffed bear I (still) sleep with every night.) We kind of sat on the edge of the bed just awkwardly for a good long while. I asked how the drive was, and he said it was fine. I asked him if he ate anything, and he said he got McDonald’s on the drive down.

My bed (TwinXL) is as small as one might think it is, and for two 6’1, chubby guys, it was a rough fit. The first position we laid in was him on the left and me on the right, laying my head on his tummy while we watched Star Wars. He had to hold his phone in the air because my head was blocking the way, but to be completely honest, I did not give a shit about Star Wars! I was laying my head on my cute, fidgety pillow.

We finished what was left of the movie (about 30 mins) before we swapped laying positions. This time I was still on the right, but I lifted my arm up, and he nuzzled into me and laid his head right on my heart before wrapping his arm over my stomach. He put on our other show that we watched together (Doctor Who), and we watched like 3 episodes. The whole time we’re lying in this position, I’m sporting anywhere from a semi to a full-on erect cock. He was rubbing his hand up and down my stomach, wrapping his leg over mine, snuggling in close…. I was SO scared maybe he felt it in my pants a couple of times. A lot of our conversations up to this point had been very sexually charged, and even though I wasn’t thinking anything in particular at that moment, my body knew what we had talked about. My body knew this was my boyfriend, a person I could be intimate with.

After Doctor Who we decided to swap spots on the bed (he was on the left and slipping off, so I VERY kindly offered to swap spots, and my butt was sliding off the bed too. I was now on the left, he on the right, looking at each other. Let it be known, I had NEVER kissed anyone until this moment. He leans in and kisses me. Not very long, but more than a peck. He pulls away, and I’m obviously blushing SO HARD. He smiles and says it was good since he had known it was a bit of a worry of mine. Never kissing anyone, not knowing how or what to do… you know the deal. After he says he liked it, I ramble for… As long as he let me. About how I’m sorry I’m awkward and I don’t know what to do and I need to be told and, yall, he actually kissed me to shut me up 🫠. He leaned in, kissed me, pulled away, whispered “shush,” and immediately leaned back in 😵‍💫. Dick so hard. Like I already have a thing for kissing like I’m already leaking, but he went and did that???? Omg. We kissed for a while just on and off between chatter. He kind of teaches me what to do as we go. This whole time, I’m rubbing his back, his sides, his arms… trying to slip a finger in underneath his waistband, but he’s wearing fucking jeans😐.

At some point, it turns dark. We had been doing this for who knows how long, and it was time to get something for dinner. He went out to this Mexican restaurant in town. I bought dinner, and we drove back home. He was driving, and he put his hand on my thigh heheh. We get back to my place, go back to my room, and he sits on the edge of my bed again. I sit next to him, and then lean down to lay my head on his lap. He was talking about dinner briefly. I don’t remember what, but at some point, I got up to fill my water bottle. I came back. He’s in the same spot. So I again sat next to him, but this time I grabbed him gently by the side of his neck and directed his head down to my lap. I comb his hair with my fingers, brush his cheeks slightly, trace my thumb on his lower lip…. He’s very relaxed.

After we got tired of doing that, he confessed he wanted to try spooning. So we do. He starts off as the big spoon, although he admits that he does want to try being the little spoon, since he’s never experienced what that was like. He spoons me, and honestly I can still remember the places his hands landed when he held me like that. He rubbed my stomach, my side, he rubbed my lower legs with his feet… but it’s not enough for me. I’m not wiggling my butt on him but there is some slight movement. He does NOT get the picture until I literally have to grab his hand and plant it down on my ass. He’s definitely shy about it at first, but soon he rubs it, kneads my lower cheek and upper thigh… I actually take my pants off. All that’s between his hand and my ass was my thin underwear. He kept groping me, grabbing one cheek at a time and just squishing, rubbing the side of his hand through my crack slightly to define my cheeks in my underwear. Then he turns around. He wanted me to be the big spoon and I gladly obliged him. I kiss the back of his neck, play with his butt and thighs. Although instead of him taking his pants off, he took his shirt off. So we were kinda opposites. Him with no shirt, me with no pants. I remember how his arm stuck out when he lied like that. I used to tap the freckles on his forearm, tracing shapes into them with my nail ever so slightly. And to be completely honest, I fell asleep like that. I always cuddle into my bear to go to sleep, and he was just a direct upgrade.

At about 1:30 I wake from my slumber. Still spooning him, he’s still safe in my arms. I get up and go piss. I really tried to move carefully not to wake him, and  even to this day  I don’t know if I did or not. I come back to bed, cuddling him again. After only about a minute of lying like that he turns around so that we’re facing each other. I can feel our foreheads pressing together, noses fitting into each other. My eyes are shut since I’m trying to go to sleep but he whispers,

“Are you awake?”

“Mmmmm” I groan back. 

I’m literally half asleep right now. I couldn’t tell up from down.

“Good…” he whispers back. 

I’m not sure if I woke him up when I got up or if he just didn’t fall asleep that whole time I was asleep, but he gave me two little pecks on the cheek before diving his nose into my neck. I thought he was getting comfortable to go to sleep; I couldn’t have been more wrong. He started slowly, kissing the crook of my neck, the further up he went, the faster and more aggressive he got. He even started biting my neck a bit , the first one caught  me off guard, a moan slipped past my lips. He goes at it for like 5 mins. I’m kind of a whiny mess, and I’m fully awake now. 

He stops.

“Are you awake?” 

I’m not sure if he was playing coy or if he was genuinely asking if I had fallen back asleep on him.

“Yes, A. I’m awake now,”I respond with an equally playful tone. 

Once he’s made his way up past my neck, we just lay there and make out for what I could swear was hours. Seriously, I couldn’t tell you how long it was happening. I also don’t remember exactly when his pants came off, but by the time we had been making out, they were off. 

We’re making out, and at one point, his tongue slips into my mouth 🫠, and I guess mine does the same?? Our lips are locked together while both our tongues are in the wrong mouth, but holy shit, it was amazing. I had honestly thought French kissing was gross up until this point. He very easily changed my mind. Is that French kissing? I don’t even know 🫠

Now here’s the thing, we’ve established that I have a thing for kissing and that my cock gets hard at even the thought of it. And I’m acutely aware that I have been as hard as a rock for as long as we’ve been making out. Again, I couldn’t tell you if it was 20 mins or 2 hours. But because I’m so aware that my cock is hard, my body instinctively moves itself back a bit? Or, my hips do. I just didn’t want him to see (or feel) that this was making me so excited. It was our first time seeing each other with this ‘boyfriend’ label, he had never seen each other naked, I didn’t want to set an expectation if that makes sense? So my hips just… moved back on their own. I thought I was being slick but I was immediately proven wrong when our next breath of air was filled with “Why are you moving away?”

He got me. Caught immediately mind you. I don’t remember my response… I actually don’t even think I responded before he grabbed my hips and pulled me right up to him. He could absolutely feel my boner, there’s no way he couldn’t…. but he didn’t say anything. He just went back to kissing me. This time though, he was HOLDING my hips and ass. holding me into him so I couldn’t move away even if I wanted to. So I follow suit. I also hold his back and ass and hips, so it’s almost like we’re hugging each other now. 

Then it started.

I think it was him who started moving his hips first, but before long, we are full on grinding our dicks into each other. The underwear added a really nice texture, and it was good to acknowledge that he was as hard as I was… although I couldn’t get a good feel of his dick through the layers of fabric. He couldn’t get a good feel of mine either, so he runs his hand up from my butt over my side nice and slow. When he gets to my neck he runs down my chest and stomach just as slow before resting his hand right on my waistband.

“May I,” he whispered.

That’s all he needs anyway. I nod and he immediately starts feeling me up over my underwear. Zero hesitation. Since I’ve never had the touch of another person like this before, I’m whimpery and breathy and trying to be quiet so my mom or anyone else in the family doesn’t hear. I remember that once he started touching me, we had stopped making out. Instead, he found this spot behind my ear that felt… really fucking good?? I can’t even tell y’all exactly where it was but I bet he could. I remember when he found that spot a whole shiver went down my body from my neck and I could feel his lips smiling on my skin with a little exhale from his nostrils like a laugh. He didn’t stop stroking me over my underwear, it was just a full-on assault of pleasure on my neck and behind my ear and my cock… it was so good. At some point his hand slipped under my hoodie to rub my back, then made its way to the front to rub my stomach.

He takes my far shoulder and pushes it back to where I’m lying flat on my back with him lying on his side next to me, almost like he’s examining me. He gives me a kiss on my cheek, then one on my lips before getting up on his knees. He makes his way towards the foot of my bed before spreading my legs and finding his spot between them. He kind of lifts my legs up so they’re wrapped around him. Now our dicks are actually pressed up against each other. I remember the feeling of his hands running up under my hoodie again but this time continuing to go up to my chest. He kisses my neck and he kneads my chest but it’s obviously not enough for him. He tugs on the hoodie almost childlike and asks,

“Can this come off?” 

Now remember, I am insecure about my upper body so I wasn’t sure how to say no politely? I wanted to say it’s just… it was new for someone to see it in such a sexual way.

“Mmm I don’t know…”

“Pleeeeeease?” He whispers with his lips on my ear, then goes on to nibble my earlobe.

I finally gave in and took my hoodie off, literally the only time his mouth came off my ear was when I had to pull the shirt off up over my head. Kisses then trail from my neck down to my chest, and I can hardly even get a moment to think before his lips clasp onto my nipples. Now, this wasn’t my introduction into my chest being a bit sensitive and pleasurable. This was, however, my introduction into enjoying the feeling of LIPS being on my chest. Up until this moment it had only been my fingers. He wasn’t gentle but it wasn’t rough either, he really knew what he was doing in that regard. While he’s sucking and playing with my chest his lower body is still pressed up against my ass/crotch area. It is no secret that I make noise when I feel good; even when trying to be quiet so no one in my family wakes up at 4 a.m. to my moans. But I was kind of whimpering like crazy, albeit quietly. Since we were in the position we were in, I could actually feel his dick against me and I swear it felt harder once I started making all my noises.

I don’t know how long he played with my chest, but I can tell you it was probably longer than it should’ve been. Once he gets done, he does the very cliché move of kissing all the way down my stomach before he gets down to my waistband. I remember that the feeling of him going down my body, paired with the fuzzy head, I had my arm kind of covering my eyes. Like when you rest your forearm on your head? Yeah, covering my eyes and trying to catch my breath, I guess. He didn't even ask before grabbing my waistband, though clearly I wasn’t against it when I raised my hips the second he tried pulling them down… I remember the feeling of his nose against my dick while he licked my balls; I could feel his warm breath. He licked my cock up and down a few times before putting it in his mouth. I had lifted my head to look down at him, but the second my cock went into his mouth, I plopped my head back down again lol. At first, he kind of just kept the tip in his mouth, not sucking or anything. Getting used to it, I guess? But then he starts bobbing his head. I don’t ever think he actually ever took my whole length in his mouth. I could feel his tongue slightly, and his teeth quite a bit, which I didn’t hate…? Not into pain like that, but it really wasn’t that bad. The blowjob was really quite mediocre, and I can say with certainty I wouldn’t cum just from that. He did it for a while, and I just let him. I knew he was wanting to learn how to do stuff with a guy. I was wanting to do ANYTHING with one, so it was a first for the both of us. My hand rests on the back of his head, and I just play with his hair for a little bit. He had a lot of hair; he always wore it down, so there was a lot there for me to play with. I didn’t push him down or do anything forceful; it was just kind of my way to show him that I was there with him? I mean, obviously, it was my dick he was sucking, but idk, it felt kind of soft and loving to me.

After a while I can kind of tell that his mouth is getting dry so I raise him off of my dick so he can take a little break. I wanted to show him what a good blowjob was like so I remember us kind of swapping positions. He was now laying on his back and I was sitting next to him. I didn’t waste time; the second he was settled down, I pulled his underwear off. He was smaller than me by a lot but I didn’t think about it much at the time. His whole dick went in my mouth a bit too easily but I did my best to suck it in a way I knew felt good. He wasn’t one to make any noise even when he felt good so I’m not sure if he enjoyed it all that much. Which is a lie actually because I do remember him holding my hair like I did with him, but he was tugging on it and pushing me down. 

To be honest, it wasn’t a fun dick to suck so I didn’t do it for very long😭 I instead laid on my side next to him, facing him. I kissed him before moving my face down to his armpit. Look y’all he smelled really good I don’t wanna hear it. He was definitely taken aback a little bit and I actually don’t think he liked that since I think I remember him shutting his arm on me tightly. Anyway, I laid on my side and jerked him off like that. We mixed between kissing and me sucking/biting on the nipple that was closest to me. I remember my hand cramping a couple times while jerking him off but I was just so determined to make him cum I didn’t care. After a while he whispered he was gonna cum and when he did I didn’t wait even a second before tasting it. It was a lot more runny than mine was and much saltier. I didn’t hate it. In fact, after this, I licked it up every time I made him cum :3

He was spent from cumming and once he started winding down it became clear to the both of us that it was like 5 in the morning. I grabbed my water bottle on the nightstand next to us and we both drank from it. I remember laying my head on his fuzzy chest and just rubbing his belly a bit after we finished up.