Cat on a Strawberry @floppy-seal-lover - Tumblr Blog

blignick

spectre-squared

@creatures-in-posts CERTIFIED CREATURE MOMENT!!!!!

creatures-in-posts

This creature appears to be having a certified creature moment

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dasswerke

Nicolas Haeni, Bunnies at the Office, 2022.

Unicorn

there is a stripper pole in my attic. i saw it in a dumpster one day, and i went, shit, this is exactly the kind of thing my wife would want. and i didnt really want it in the house, what with it being a used stripper pole lightly seasoned with dumpster juice, but i mentally decided that if she were to see it and ask for it, i would say she could have it, and then sure enough, later that evening, she went soooo baaaaaaaabs there's this thing by the dumpster and i want it but i get it if you don't want it in the house but i have to show it to you- and i went, no you dont, you can have the pole, and that was the most surprised i have ever made her look. even compared to the day when i proposed to her, which she was prepared enough that we both knew she would say yes, and she could also get her hair done up and have a cute outfit, but not so prepared that she was not fucking flabbergasted by the 12 empty decoy ringboxes i sprung on her. i handed her so many decoy ring boxes that day. still one of the funniest things i've ever done to her.

anyway we like pacing around together and ranting in the attic but sometimes instead of pacing one of us will just hang on the pole and spin, and the other person will watch on the beanbag, which makes for these really goofy conversations where the person on the bag will say something that gets the other persons goat, such as, hypothetically, that xylophones do not belong in rock music, and then the other person will go on a tirade about this, but they'll actually only be facing the Hot Take Speaker half of the time, what because of the pole, so the response will sound something like

I can't believe

you would even suggest such

a stupid opinion. You've

been to a Danny Elfman

concert! How can you

have heard Oingo Boingo

live and say with a straight face

that they alone do not justify

rock and roll xylophones

and then that person will continue until they get too dizzy, then they'll get off the pole, and by unspoken agreement, the person on the bag will get up and trade places with them to deliver their rebuttal while also spinning and it just creates this sort of crazy strip-court lawyers debating absolute nonsense for no reason kind of vibe that frankly just really does it for us.

i don't really have any marriage advice for this i guess its just a look at what being married can look like. i thought that being married would involve a lot more stuff like carving the turkey, or barbecuing, or watching the sunset, and if id known how much time it would involve arguing for xylphones in rock music while spinning upside down i might have prepared for it a little differently.

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qusok

Little bnuuy!

beardedmrbean

eat-battery-acid

Fun fact: Bunnies can levitate.

the-forcemascinator

knight i found commiserating at the tavern: what would you, a hedonistic fool, know about yearning? courtly love is a pure, tender desire never to be fulfilled.

me, calculating the fastest way to take off his armor: i know a.thing or two about fully filling sires

.

mornington-the-crescent

clearskjes

ivan-fyodorovich-k

good work everyone

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c3rvida3

This "tornado siren" is a terrible singer. I don't know how she thinks she's going to lure any sailors to their deaths going WEEEEEOOOOooooOOOOOOoooo. Besides, Kansas is landlocked. Is she stupid?

jmfenner91

dankxsinatra

lillie-garden

The next big tumblr meme is [x]berry I think.

lillie-garden

i gave you a warningberry.

a-kilogram-of-feathers

bunny warfare kind of timeline

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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