Salome, but like, funnier

The "-calyptus" part means "covered", so eucalyptus's opposite would be something that's 1. naked and 2. bad at it

Layering my Short Skirt, Long Jacket (CAKE) over my White Tee (CORPSE) and Blue Jeans (Lana Del Ray) Knee Socks (Arctic Monkeys) and Blue Suede Shoes (Elvis) and then putting on my Raspberry Beret (Prince) before I head out to the Bard Olympics where I am disqualified for performance-enhancing power buffs. On my way home I am cast as a sassy but cute side character in an early 2010's Disney Channel original series. I look fresh as hell

world heritage post

Reading this post is like walking into a civil war reenactment only to realize you accidentally time travelled to the real civil War

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

God forbid Chippy do anything

You absolutely must unmute this video.

the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets

Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune

today i am thinking about Holly who in 5th grade loaned me her Garfield comic books on which she had drawn a cock and balls on every Garfield and Odie in the entire book

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

"okay, but are you a nonbinary woman or a nonbinary man" im going to nonbury you in a fucking hole.

The thing about being a tumblrina is that you provide such valuable contributions to the broader internet ecosystem and you get zero compensation for that. They should be giving us airline miles

If we were the type to need airline miles we wouldn't be spending so much time on Tumblr

The airline miles are so we can visit our mutuals.