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honestly mad respect to smut writers for the amount of words they know that mean pussy

unfortunately the first step in my creative process is avoiding for 14 hours

what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who’s biting a tree real hard

Maple syrup vampire husband

Encounter: Maple syrup vampire husband drinking sap in the woods, also trying to lure you to his literally bloodthirsty wife.

The wife has the classic Villain Of The Night aesthetic, all black, flowing cape, everything, and her husband is wearing red flannel, overalls, a beard, and is welding a log-splitting axe

This person gets it! Classic vampire lady and her lumberjack husband!

This would work because you could lure me ANYWHERE with the promise of good maple syrup.

sometimes you read a fanfiction to distract and enjoy yourself but you end up reading a dialogue or a sentence that fundamentally changes who you are as a person and how you perceive the world around you, and honestly i wouldn't have it any other way

for legal reasons i should say there is no literal conga line anywhere to be found in this fic thus far, but hey, if it’ll get the little creepo Better faster, then i’m open to it

I have to reblog this every time because frankly this is absolutely genius prose

Yes, thank you so much!!!!!

[ID: a tweet by elicia donze that reads "People hate their own art because it looks like they made it. They think if they get better, it will stop looking like they made it. A better person made it. But there's no level of skill beyond which you stop being you. You hate the most valuable thing about your art. /end ID]