McDonald’s should start selling 99 cent margaritas

more rich people should fight on live tv for my entertainment

we don't talk enough about low hanging balls.

We don’t show them enough, either.

oh fuck yes

The thought is cool but this has bad idea written all over it. If they gain weight it’s going to mess up the tattoo, if they lose weight it’s going to mess up the tattoo, and even if they stay the same weight if they bend down, or are in certain angles there’s going to be giant missing gaps.

“Dababy has been canceled” sounds like something I would text a college hook up after an abortion.

Fucking hate pet rent.  You want my cat to pay rent?  She is a cat.  Cats don’t have jobs.  Idiot.

Excuse me? What, and I can not overstate this enough, the fuck is pet rent?

The US is hostile to both human and animal life

Metrosexual is objectively the funniest thing to come out of homophobia

I said I believed. I never said I’d obey.