misguided goat

when u call for ur dog n u hear the lil pap pap of their feet as they come to u

every time i don’t watch the oscar’s some insane shit happens. gonna keep not watching so this continues

next year they should add a category for the audience to vote on to elect someone to get punched in the face on stage

What’s the most simple thing you’ve ever had to explain to a fully competent adult?

That you cannot fax money to someone.

Had someone accidentally fax us some paperwork. They then asked if we would fax it back due to the paperwork being confidential…

I have received a fax in an envelope. like… they took the documents, put em in an envelope, then faxed me a picture of the sealed envelope.

That’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard.

I like that this just turned into stories about faxing

another day of not being the ancient goddess I deserve to be

might fuck around and become a symbol of death and rebirth, creation and destruction, beginnings and endings or something idk

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

this is so sad. all this puppy has to sleep on is a baby banana with a half slice cheddar blanket