I find better boyfriends in books

Love makes you feel out of control. I think that’s how you know it’s right.

I’m constantly rearranging words. I look for the letters of your name in everything I read. Do you know what you’ve done to me?

red [red] n: any of various colors representing blood   (1.) your favorite song plays on repeat, drowning out your father’s voice, and when you press your fingers into your eyes to keep from losing your mind, it is the star that burns the backs of your eyelids and the tips of your fingers.   (2.) when he winces away from her kisses, it is what paints his cheek under her fingers, sharp with toluene and formaldehyde.   (3.) it is when your lungs burn in the darkness and the only thing that you can see is where she cut the strings she held you by; it is the place where your veins open to spill their contents over bone and muscle.   (4.) when the sun sets, and it dissolves into clouds that soak up its blood; it is the color that stays as the daytime and everything beautiful disappears. it is the only thing besides her that is both beautiful and painful.    (5.) it is the color that you see when the world breaks your heart again and again.