I'm Not Sorry

"You were terrible enough and enough of a public figure for your death to merit a Destiel News meme, but you were not noteworthy or influential enough for your death to merit a Crab Rave," is an uttered depressing legacy to have as far as terrible people go.

How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?

‘Tis the fuckin’ season, friends!! Get out there and live your worst life!!

What the fuck is happening

Why don’t you grab a can of ravioli and ask!

"i got that dog in me" - personally i got that deer in me (urge to run into oncoming traffic).

now I know why they do that

shoutout to everyone dealing with. thhe fucking difficulty

the fact that all of my mutuals immediately reblogged this from me really says something about all of us, doesn't it

im just built different (unstable)

This humor is so fucking advanced yet so fucking simple at the same time

Why are the horrors calling you "babygirl"? 🤨

scientists are blowing up rats and shit in a lab trying to figure out how to make an even more refreshing mint, and they’re starting to get there

okay tumblr’s exclusion from the twitter social media ban list is hilarious but genuinely we do not belong on there. if a real human person asks “where can i find you on social media” and your choice is a swift death or revealing your tumblr, most of us would simply expire. half of y’all change urls every week like you’re in witness protection. just imagine for one second attaching your wholeass government name to your latest two am clownposting and tell me that didn’t send a cold chill down your spine. the only place i ever want to see the words “connect with me on tumblr!” is on the ao3 profile of an author i’m actively stalking. anyone in the world can follow me except anyone i personally know. antisocial media.

Passed my autopsy with flying colours. There was so much inside me

Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years

seeing ads for bumble on tumblr now….nuh uh babey youre not getting me to a secondary location either my mutuals fall in love with me here or nothing happens at all

Turns out if you reblog this post you IMMEDIATELY summon a spam bot advertising an LGBTQ dating app.