Damn it, Mulder!

The longer I live the more I realize I just wanna be well fed and bottom nude all the time

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

To all the parents out there who bundle their babies up in the winter time with those little hats with the little ears that make them look like little teddy bears: You are doing the lord’s work. Seeing tiny ewoks toddle across the grocery store parking lot is just what we all need sometimes. My joy is immeasurable and my day is restored.

"I felt like I was spamming you so I stopped" girl if I could download every thought you've ever had as a PDF I'd read that shit start to finish. Spam me more. I want to hear what you have to say.

HAVE Z AND ALPHA NOT BEEN MADE AWARE? HAVE WE FAILED AT CONTINUING TO MEME THE HELL OUT OF IT? ARE WE, IN FACT, THE GRANDMAS BECAUSE WE ARE THE ANCIENT KEEPERS OF THE INCEST COFFEE KNOWLEDGE???

(If anybody is wondering “how could they write that and not anticipate the reaction?“ It’s because the sister was supposed to be much younger in the original draft. Like. An actual child. But they aged her up and never bothered changing the dialogue, so…)

#how can we forget incest coffee#young people have no culture (via @caffeinosis)

The Unified Theory of Viral Song Describing Extremely Specific Social Phenomena

Whats the saddest meal you can think of?

…………cheesy peasy…..