Finish That Thesis!

i’ve been really productive the past few months, which is actually quite rare for me bc i’m a slave to procrastination i get burnt out v easily. this time was a little different, i managed to keep my productivity levels really high for a whole 2 months all the way until exams ended, studying every single day without fail, around 10 hours a day, when i used to only do an average of 3 or 4. so here’s what worked for me and what didn’t!

what works: schedule your day

what happens when ur a virgo studyblr? u plan. i would write out everything i needed to accomplish for the day, the night before, and be really specific about it. i would then plug in the timings, this works for me, but u can choose to put the time in first and plan what u want to do around the time. 

a structured time plan pressures me and i end up getting everything done, especially when i set an alarm on my phone for all the timings!

what does not: cramming a lot of hours into a day

12+ hour work days are ideal, especially when u watch all the ‘study with me: 14 hour work day!’ youtube videos, but they are just tedious and unreasonable. 

let’s face it, even if u do complete one or two long study days, ur just gonna get bored and tired and have no mood to continuing this for a week or more. slow and steady wins the race!

what works: tweaking the pomodoro technique

i hate the pomodoro method. at the 25 minute mark, i’m normally on a roll and super focused on the task; and the 5 minute breaks were too short for me to actually take a break. 

that’s why i tweaked it to 45-minute study sessions with 10-minute breaks, and after 3 study sessions, a 30-minute break. longer study sessions meant i get a break when i really start to get restless, and longer breaks gave me more time to recharge. i suggest tweaking this to match what works for you.

what does not work; doing too many / too little subjects a day

1. u don’t want to cram all the same topics and subjects into one day. ultimately, it’s a choice of spending 8 hours solely on a subject / topic and not touching it for the next few days / weeks, OR doing just 2 or 3 hours of one subject / topic each day over a few days / week

2. just thinking about doing only one subject for a whole day already tires me out. i have tried it, but normally i get so sick and tired of it that after a few hours, i can’t bring myself to focus on it any longer. on the contrary, if i keep switching between subjects, i get super confused because i have to remember too much of very different info. 

what works: leaving the last portion of your day ambiguous 

i like to start and end my days early. but in the process, i found a benefit of ending them early: i end up w a chunk of time at the end where there are two scenarios:

i’m super motivated and want to continue studying

i’m rly tired and cannot bring myself to continue bc i need a break !1!!

surprisingly, option 1 does happen a lot. and i think this is a rly good work-life balance. u don’t get burnt out easily, but from time to time, u get a bonus extra few hours of work done! 

what does not work: forgoing sleep

sleep is so important omg. 3 hours of studying while sleepy = 1 hour of studying when ur refreshed and ur brain’s working. a tired mind is a slow mind, and an awake mind is a fast mind!

do not worry about that rly hard chapter that u must understand and complete! ur mind continue to works even when ur sleeping, i assume bc it’s rewiring and sorting through new information. after waking up, i find myself being able to better remember and understand information that i struggled on the night before!

what works: finding out ur energy levels and use it to ur advantage

some people work best at 6am and can’t focus after 9pm, some people can’t focus before 11am and work best at midnight. take note of and chart ur energy levels throughout the day for about a week or so, are u particularly refreshed in the morning? do u feel urself always dozing off at 4? are u the most productive at night? 

work ur body clock out and work around it! every body functions differently! like in the last point, 3 hours of studying at ur worst energy levels = 1 hour of studying at ur peak energy level! forcing urself to work when ur body refuses to do so will only lead to procrastination. 

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Oh, that poor kid. I’m so glad you’re caring and preparingfor this student!

I haven’t had anystudents with new, close family grief. However, I do know that kids mourn intheir own ways. Follow your instinct and your heart!

My advice, which should be taken with a whopping spoon ofsalt, is to try to maintain classroom normalcy. Their home life has justchanged drastically, so trying to keep a sense of continuity will be helpful. Ioften struggle with the homework situation—I think that, depending on the gradeand your curriculum, that extending deadlines can be helpful and take thestress off the student without compromising the rigor of the class andmaintaining those normal expectations you have of this student.

This student may exhibit behavior that is different fromwhat you’ve come to know of her. She may be despondent and detached, emotionalor even angry. After all, there is no ‘proper’ way to grieve. She may need someprivate time, and try to be understanding of that.  Let her know that you’re there for her, andthat you care. She may not want the extra attention, so I find a quiet,private, poignant moment to be the most effective.

Be flexible with deadlines. If they need an incomplete to finish work, give it to them. For team projects, talk to the team on the student's behalf. I currently have a student whose father is in hospice. I went through this same thing myself this summer. I am going to tell her team to try to front load her contributions, so if things get worse as the semester goes on, everyone feels like she's done her fair share.