Find Yourself and Love Yourself

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do about this blog. I no longer use this as much as I did years ago. However, this blog holds a lot of emotional memories for me that I am not yet ready to delete. 

With that being said, I have created a new blog that I am going to be more active on and I would love if you would give it a quick follow. This new blog will be nothing like this one, but instead it will represent who I am as a young adult, while this blog represents who I was as a teenager. 

If were going to be honest I have no idea when I created this account. I know that I had it back in highschool. But I graduated highschool over five years ago. In high school I used this account a lot to “vent” about all that I was going through. However, as the years went on, I quit using this account as much and eventually I forgot about it. 

Now that I am 23 years old, sitting in my childhood bedroom, I think it is finally time to make this blog something that I actually enjoy. I haven’t yet decided what thats going to be, but I hope that you all will support me along this ride.

we never fell in love. we never had the chance to.

we held each other for only three nights.

and then we never saw each other again.

January- I was working a ton, going to bed at 8pm and waking up at 4:45am. Started the second semester of my Junior year of college. Started praying before bed to help cope with my depression and anxiety. Truly fell in love with my job. Also took a beach trip.

February- continued to work while taking classes. Loved what I was doing. Made amazing friendships with my classmates. Kept praying to feel better. But was still depressed and anxious.

March- covid hit. I was still working and going to class. I started my first major practicum placement for school. I was starting to be okay. I was feeling relief in my prayer. My classes went online and my job shut down within 2 weeks and I had to move back home.

April- did virtual school. It was terrible. Started a new hobby that I loved. Was starting to feel okay and happy. Still prayed every night before bed.

May- still in quarantine. Virtual school ended. My vacation got pushed back due to travel restrictions. Still unemployed with no updates about when we would be returning. Starting to see God move in my life. Signed a lease on a new apartment with a roommate I hardly knew. My depression and anxiety started to fade.

June- moved into my new apartment. Got to go back to work. Best day ever. Vacation was moved back again. Started to find a new routine of working in a covid world. Also had to quarantine due to exposure. Kept on praying to God to help me manage my stress and anxiety along with my depression.

July- worked a ton. Like a lot. Finally got to go on vacation. Started preparing for my senior year of college. Starting to finally feel like me again. I can thank God and prayer for that one.

August- started the fall semester of my senior year. My roommate came back. Made a ton of new friends. Hybrid classes while also working full time. Started to love myself. And of course I kept on praying every night.

September- began my second major practicum. It was amazing. Started having weekly bonfires with my friends (we all stayed safe to have these) Had lots of doubt about my major. Things were extremely stressful with school. But I kept praying to God for help and patience.

October- cut back on my hours at work due to school. Made a lot of budget cuts. Lots of early mornings and long nights. But also found time for myself and friends. Had a covid scare. Kept praying to God to help me make it through this.

November- finally ended the fall semester. Started working a ton more. Got to hangout with an amazing guy for the first time. Started to notice my weight loss. Started thanking God for all he has done for me this year.

December- right now. I am working a ton. Preparing for my last semester of college. Looking forward to spending the holidays with family that I haven’t seen since May. Incredibly stressed out. But am beyond bless with all that God has given to me this year.

How did your year go? I know this year has sucked. I went through a lot but have chosen to keep a lot of it private. I pray that in 2021 I continue to grow and to love myself.