Picking Up The Pieces

My heart and soul miss everything about you. I miss our future together. I keep repeating to myself momma breathe!! Momma breathe!!

Just breathing is hard when your child is no longer with you on this earth. Remember to take a deep breath. Remember your child would not ever want you to be sad. God would not want you to be sad. Although it’s impossible not to be sad when you’ve lost someone so close to you. Only be sad for moments in your day. Take time to feel it and breath through it. Find things to be happy about something as small as a bird chirping, the sun shining, the clouds in the sky.

If I could go to heaven right now, give her a hug so tight and tell her show much I love her and then just come back to be with my husband and son. Then maybe somehow it would make me feel just a millimeter better. 💜🦋🧜‍♀️🧚‍♂️

I need my daughter in my arms. I just want to feel her. Her head against my chest. Her breath against my neck. I want to beg a plead please just one last hug. Please I just want her with me. I need her with me.

Prom for York is next Saturday. Make good choices. Alcohol poisoning is real. Underage drinking is illegal. Lookout for each other. Adults don’t make decisions for our kids. #scoutoftheirhands #lovelikeshelby https://www.instagram.com/p/BxD2tgyHpOytTK_Vev2c36WWY4MI4-qlTrVaoM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1775sy47yuvl7

Trust in the Lord even in your hardest most impossible time. Trust that he will be by your side at all times. Trust that he will move mountains for you. Never feel alone even on your loneliest day. God is with you. He sees your pain. He sees your sorrow. He sees your brokenness. Don’t give up! He will carry you when you can’t carry yourself. He will be your strength. God loves you and wants you to find joy in every day. Turn to him by praying and opening his book, reading his words. Trust in his promises.

Today at 4 my beautiful daughter’s headstone will be placed to mark where her body lays. I’ve waited on this day since we picked it out and at the same time I’ve tried to stop this day from coming. This will make it more real than ever. I don’t want to believe that her body could possibly be under the ground. I don’t want to believe this is my life now. I know I have to keep moving forward for God. I have to hold on to his promises. God is my hope for a better tomorrow. God wants me to be happy and I know without a doubt my precious girl wants me to be happy.