My Thoughts on Fire

Why is it that at such a ripe age all I can think about is boys? I should be looking for my future in school, in life, and across the world. Definitely not looking for the boy who moved across the state for college or the boy with nicotine addiction.   

Why is it that I think of these stupid boys? One had broken my heart far too many times and the other hasn’t gotten the chance because I am so concerned about what other people will say about me when I’m with him. 

Love has made little difference in my life. My parents don’t love each other, I doubt they ever have. What kind of parent tells their kids that the only reason they ever got married was to have health insurance? What kind of parent tells their kids that marriage is a fraud?  

Inspired by RHCP song “Under The Bridge” 

“Sometimes I feel Like I don't have a partner Sometimes I feel Like my only friend Is the city I live in The city of angels Lonely as I am Together we cry

What is contentment? What is enough? 

I’m not enough for some universities, others I cannot pay enough. 

Some are not good enough for me. 

I’m not content with who I am. The distance between my brows and hair is too large and the space between my thighs too small. Too short to model but too tall to blend in. Too plain to be interesting but too distant to engage. 

I’m not enough for you. You’re so far away and I’m not worth the fight. 

Would I even be happy with you? Or are you some internalized goal I cannot grasp, another reminder of things I cannot have. 

I'm Anxious

That you're looking at me

That you're not

I'm Anxious

you don't care

when I care so much

That we won't be together forever

More that we will

Anxious

That I can't forget about you

You will forget about me

Anxious

That I love you

My first love lit my soul in fire

Memories of the two of us still wake me up

Nostalgia alone fills me with desire

Every time we touch I ponder what could be

What could have been was lost in the

translation of childhood immaturity

Our love was enlightening

You opened my love and left it

Too young to realize what love was yet

We knew to kiss eachother before you left

the irish goodbye was suppose to be best

left me with conditional love without conditions

I still hang on to your words looking for the

emotions we used to share or little messages

about our past

We talk too little for the time I waste planning

our conversations, but every word I treasure

and hope you grin with pleasure

This is yet another poem from my high school literature class. I know that it may seem boring but prompts like these really motivate me :) enjoy!

I.

i love you echoes between the pair

their arms tightly embrace

as if the squally winds could disconnect their love

II.

his admiring smile whispers affection

when she looks the other way and

her patient unbolted eyes confess the

hidden fondness neither will accept

III.

their soft underbelly is left unprotected

when their barefaced grins break

the tight lip barrier like water

IV.

i love you swims in the air with the tang

of coffee beans and evaporates with

the simmering water

it consumes them as they take in

the hot beverage filled with recognition

of each other's order pressed into memory

V.

I love you trumpets through the speakers

into the ears and belts out the lungs

during car rides filled with secret touches  

VI.

endearment stops the air in the cool room 

everyone else feels my attention wander 

as you enter the room and 

my body heats like an

This is another assignment I wrote for my high school literature class. It’s an Ekphrasis Poem that describes a photo of me and my childhood best friend playing in the kiddy pool in our backyard. I hope y’all enjoy this poem :)

Bar bellies on a manicured lawn

Whispy hairs slicked with SPF

and hose water to save the 

fragile and innocent skin

They stand as a pair to fight 

the moms that hide behind 

the ever-present Canon

and prepare to battle the sleepy sun

Sun-kissed and freckle scattered kids

grow in the green oasis 

surrounded by the wood picket fence

Too soon the wood is replaced by 

chain-link and the real world seeps

between the gaps

The kiddy pool is now 

a bird fountain and an aging Fisher Price

kitchen set is a flower bed

Wispy hairs grow out and suffocate

from hair gel and heat irons

This was an assignment in my high school literature class and I wanted to post it with my revisions. Also, this is loosely based on the Half-Hanged Poem by Margaret Atwood. I hope you enjoy :) 

0500

Birds and streetcars fill the air

Like the traffic of Times Square

I’m not in New York

I’m in the sheets of my twin bed

Trying to get you out of my head

1200

During class I can almost forget you

Then you parade back into my mind

Like water slowly suffocating me

I wish I could leave you behind

1900

Writing has always been hard

No matter the day 

Solely because my heart in left without guard

Every poem I’ve written has been about you; I know I’m a cliché

2300

Then you call and we talk as if 800 miles didn’t separate us

I never knew all I needed to 

Get over you was just more