softer, worser, slower, weaker

candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

If a Hamtaro game gives me the opportunity to use "stickie," I'm going to use it. That's just how it is. I will poke anyone and anything if "stickie," is an option. Not sorry about it one bit.

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

they beat jesus with that

this is literally the 92 bulls

MICHAEL JORDAN DID NOT HAVE DEATH RAYS COME OUTTA HIS HAND

it’s called a fade away jumper

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

yeah and it kicks ass

you ever get drunk on shit whiskey and hallucinate your best friend as a young woman telling you how stupid you are for not telling your sons necromancy is bad

Every time I ask one of the Youths™ to explain “vibe check” to me they hit me with some kind of improvised weapon

vibe check

@roktronik @corporal-crazyone

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Cold Steve Austin

@lord-tunderin

I can never just scroll past this ridiculous post without reblogging it. 

nunchucks are illegal in some states but guns are not. so if you tie two guns together and create gunchucks it’s neither legal or illegal

schroedinger’s gunchucks

Why does schroedinger have so many things

Schrodinger’s hording problem

Do u ever just VIOLENTLY dislike having body parts

Too Restricting. I Would Like To Shapeshift.

Arriving at Chernobyl.... the vibes levels are all over the place

if ur hands are cold it’s just ur ghost boyfriend holding ur hand

my f

my feet are cold

@roktronik @corporal-crazyone