I'm a Panda♥

okay but seriously i don’t think i’m ever gonna stop talking about mamma mia 2 like that is how you do a sequel. 

It must have been counting the sheep as it herded them

Oh, man, I can’t help but try my hand at this: My naym is dog I wurk the farm I see the flocke Comes tu no harme And wen I’m dun With ayl the sheep I jumpe on top I go tu sleepe

so one skywalker twin took magic lessons from a frog, killed his dad, and fucked off to an abandoned island in his bathrobe. the other skywalker twin gunned down space nazis, hooked up with han solo, and governed the free galaxy with snark and hair like a botticelli painting. and you’re telling me *luke* is the one i should be inspired by?

Truth.

PREACH!

real life Allura y'all

Minor Application Telling Me To Reboot Computer After Being Installed Must Be Fucking Delusional

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

She broke that shit down so beautifully

women are masterminds and i love it

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

Bless these human beings for simply being alive and living life. 

Treasure trove

Huh?

Oh.

Oh no.