I'd rather be a dragon but otherwise I'm good

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

I love being an adult who always puts my hand out to shake when I meet a kid! every single time their face is like "no one does The Adult Greeting Ritual with me, is this a sign of respect or is this man simply unhinged" and then of course as we talk they realise it's both

Whatttt is with the tendency of Tumblr users to seek absolution from every single person who offhandedly posts about disagreeing with something they do

I say this not unkindly, but firmly: to function as a member of a social species, you have to get comfortable with the idea that not everyone will like you

when we started talking about getting a small-breed dog I was like, "I will NEVER turn into one of those people who treats their little dog like a doll or an accessory by forcing them to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Dogs HATE that. They should get to be DOGS, and that means not having to wear anything but a HARNESS and being FREE to ROLL in the MUD." and then I adopted a dog who throws a fit if you try to take him for a walk without letting him pick out a bow tie first. a dog who loves wearing pajamas so much that I'm about to spend a disgusting amount of money on several sets of linen ones for summer. a dog who watches me wave at him to follow me through a mud puddle and just stands there blinking up at me like, "are you fucking serious? and get my paws wet?"

butches should be fucking each other

The slow realization that they have been loved not like a child, but as a trophy. But it was love nonetheless. Wasn't it?

"Do you have a mini for the Dark Spectre of my Soul?" - Taliesin Jaffe, Critical Role C1E035

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

this caption is so deceptive, this video is so much more than that

so ive been meaning to do this poll for a while because my hypothesis is that seattle is the most Tumblr city, likely in the entire world. tumblr has a huge american majority userbase obviously, but just for comparison going forward, only 0.22% of the american population lives in seattle. as of this reblog, this poll is showing 4% of respondents are seattleites. given, this isnt scientific at all, because my blog just has a lot of seattle connections and seattle followers, but it's still an impressive bias

Oh you take medications to manage your symptoms? That pales in comparison to my strategy of only eating raw eggs, avoiding anything that could possibly cause a flare-up and taking 50 different supplements every day.

I don't want to depend on pills for the rest of my life, that's why I decided to manage my chronic health condition with wellness & diet products that I will need to keep purchasing indefinitely.

I don't trust big pharma, but I trust influencers selling me their stuff, I have a parasocial relationship to them, they would never lie to me!

Hello I would like pills and health treatments but like not regulated at all and marketed with false promises only by people who cannot be held accountable.