I'm still logged in, score!
Well, I haven't posted in... Years, probably. I should have been the whole time. But. Other aspects of my life took over and writing never was an obvious, working part of me to those I spend most of my hours with; which is probably why I didn't make time for it.
Always giving my time to everyone else- this is a completely relative statement because I know in many cases I could give more time with my loves.
But anyway, writing. So writing has always been a scapegoat, a comfort, a VOICE, and a pleasure for me. Its like having someone to confide in without any embarrassment or judgement. Because for me, that is what writing feels like until I let someone else read it, while on here I have less shame or frail confidence to share how I feel or what I think. Reason why: I don't know most of you in the physical world and the blanket of anonymity is oh so comforting.
But on with it.
I'm here because I want to explode or melt, or something. I actually do want to scream till my voice hurts then cry.
Work life is beyond too much for my mental state to handle. I really thought I had it but Ive started to think that I've manifested a negative workplace for myself.. When? I'm not sure but I think I maybe just couldn't help myself. It is what it is. I tried so hard to be a leader, a coworker friend etc etc but it wasn't all me cause the negative, the job's entirety made sure of that outcome.
To be continued...
