Addict? No biggie.

I’m doing fine. Life trying to tear me down has always been my number one motivator. My schoolwork is still getting completed; mostly A’s which feels amazing. Plus, now I’m getting the support I need to get my own apartment or move to supportive living. Either way, more freedom, but it’s not like I ever go anywhere anyways. Just gotta keep busy, and relapse is nowhere in sight. 

Well the inevitable finally happened, I got kicked out of the halfway house. Most of the women in there didn’t like me. It’s understandable; I’m 21, about to get my undergraduate degree, not relapsing, have family who comes to visit me every weekend, whereas they’re old, jobless, relapsing, and broke all ties with their families years ago. However, their jealousy was so aggressive, and my returned kindness was incomprehensible, so the other women just got more and more upset. So I get removed from the equation to keep the bullies happy. Great.

Yeah so my life has gone to shit lately. However, I AM STILL CLEAN. I can handle immense amounts of stress and stay clean! So happy :)

When you are young they assume you know nothing.

I wear bras. There’s probably some significance to that, but I’m not sure what that is yet.

I’ve humbled myself. I’m not perfect, I acknowledge my strengths, I acknowledge my faults, I acknowledge that other people are better than me in different ways.

My cravings have subsided. I stayed the course long enough to get to this point. At the beginning, they were horrible. And I’m so happy that I fought so many cravings without medication, because now I’m aware of just how strong I am.

I know how much my mom has done for me. She’s stayed by me through my lowest point. She has done more for me than anyone every has. I’ve reached a new level of love and respect for her.

I don’t trust as easily. 

I allow relationships to come and go.

I journal. I make tumblr posts. I write down my feelings. This helps me come to terms with my feelings and let them pass.

I consider change and allow my path to fluctuate. I may stay in this halfway house for a year. Or I may move on to sober living in the near future. I may move into an apartment after my time in a halfway house, or move to sober living, or move into a college dorm. I may go on to graduate school...or not, and that’s okay.