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Eorzeas’ unity is ⚒forged⚒ on 🤦♂️falsehoods🚫. Its city-states are 👷♂️built👷♀️ on deceit🤞, and its faith💒 is an 🎷instrument🥁 of 😈deception. It is naught🎗➰🐺 but a cobweb of lies🕷🕸🙄 - to believe in Eorzea is to believe in 🙅♂️🙅♀️nothing☠. In Eorzea, the 🦉🐦beast🐟🐍 tribes often summon Gods 🙏🙏🙏 to fight⚔🔫 in their stead.
Though your ☭comrades☭ only rarely respond in kind
- which is ❓strange❓, is it not➰? Are the twelve🖐🖐✌ otherwise "engaged"? 💍👰👰 I was given to understand they were your 👼protectors🛡. If you truly believe them your 👌guardians🙏, why do you not 🎼🔁repeat the trick🎃 that served you so well at Carteneau, and call them down? 😏☎️🔇 They will 📞😇answer📞😇, so long as you lavish them with crystals 💎💎💎 and gorge them on aether 💦💦😳🤤. Your Gods are no different from those of the 🐜🐺beasts🐢🍃 - eikons, every one 🤡🤪. Accept but this, and you will see how Eorzeas 🙏faith🤭 is bleeding the land 🍂dry🔥. Nor is this unknown to your 🤴👸masters🤣, which prompts the ❓question❓ - why do they cling to these ❌false🤥 deities? What 🚗drives🚕 even men of 📚learning
- even the great Louisoix 🎓🎓🎓
to grovel😩 at their feet👣👃😳? The answer? Your masters lack the 💪strength💪 to do otherwise! 🤣👌 For the world of 👤man to mean anything, man must own the world. 👉🌍👈To this end🔚, he hath 🤛fought🤜 ever to raise himself through 🤬conflict😤, to grow rich💰💰💰 through conquest🛡⚔😡. And when the dust of battle settles, it is ever the strong💪😡 who dict🍆ate the fate of the weak😰👋. Knowing this, but a single😘 path is open to the 😖🍆impotent😞🍆 ruler - that of false worship🙏👑🙏. A path which leads to enervation and death 🤡😰⚰. Only a 💪man of power👌 can rightly steer🚘🚦 the course⛳ of 🌆civilization🌁. And in this land of
cReEpInG mEnDaCiTy,
that one truth will prove its 👼salvation😇. Cum Come💦, champion of Eorzea, face me! Your defeat shall serve as proof of my readiness to 👑rule👑! It is only right➡️ that I should take your realm, for none among you has the power to stop me! 😎😎😎🤣🏳
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Just for funsies I have compiled all of my ffxiv related cards i've gotten from @theshitpostcalligrapher (much to her groanings, we're gonna get u someday mia) (or at least the ones i physically have in my house lol) over the past couple years. Some of them are just like snippets of conversations but I will explain them if anyone asks hey how is that one an ffxiv reference
Under the cut is explanations for all the cards that aren't clear references or direct quotes from the game.
Well you see its like a rattlesnake: so rattlesnakes make their rattles by having a special scale on the end of their tail that stays on even after molting, baby rattlers have no rattle. and baby au ra and miqo'te have shorter tails proportionally than adults. I'm the one who took issue with that comparison.
you should be able to toggle armpit hair: i think this should be added to the character creator, in real life it has a hell of a cooldown in one direction.
Scaryflashlight: this is how i described pre-shadowbringers patch
Returning to his favorite hobby: this one is specifically about urianger. iykyk
I hope that old man gets to die: there's that one old man in heavensward hildebrand who really wants to lemming off a cliff to be with his dead wife but hildebrand is too lighthearted for that
i no longer trust any hyur: there were too many hyurs who turned out to be secret garleans and i got jaded about it
By the twelve hes a lalafel: ok this one isn't unobvious but i really want to tell the story. the lala-focused FC i'm in does an event called Cult of Blood where we run around being cultists and startling people and sacrificing them and whatnot. this year we planned out a little skit where we made a character to get sacrificed and transformed him into a lalafell, very fun this was some of the reactions when the switcheroo happened. hang out on mateus during spirits eve if you want to experience Cult of Blood.
soggies you: Mia made a sadge emote and it got changed to soggy in my friend xiv server cause the game makes us soggie, okay?!?
seemingly infinite responsibilities: this is a line from the Ameliance custom deliveries which i'm explaining cause i know not everyone does crafting stuff.
evil cake: in case it wasn't clear from the coloring, this is about Eulmore
Baby of the world: Tora-Jiro is baby of the world. see @cat-faces for more information.
Wesley is preparing for a bit of an adventure, first stop being in Sharlayan to visit his kits, and he is putting Gaelileo in charge of his burrow.
The last time Gaelileo was left alone when Wesley went on a trip to Thavnair and then Scion business in Alexandria shortly after, Gaelileo raided the pantry and made a mess of snackie all over the floor. Wesley had to buy locks for his pantry to prevent his sneaky little catby (cat baby) from wrecking more havoc.
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@theshitpostcalligrapher So there's this game called Final Fantasy XIV in which it is possible to have a submarine fleet with your free company and our submarine fleet is led by the fearless and peerless @driftward to whom this quote can be attributed too :D
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something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.
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