lol

my patience wears so thin for a person who hasn’t even lived for a decade

i dont know how many more deep breaths i can take

im so fucking easy dONT TALK TO ME

the never ending cycle of joy and sorrow is like a convection current deep in our bones. we never truly function without one or the other.

the people yearn.

WE’RE BACK YAY HEHE

feeling extra existential today

Memories. Seconds that feel like it could play forever. Feelings that connect to the soul like sunshine on cold pavement. Photos that hold so much of life that was lived. Videos that pour with experiences that was once seen to the naked eye. Just once did it happen. Just once was it seen. Rewind to replay was—and is still a constant. Every feeling, every intake of breath, every sound that was heard, every voice that came, every image in that moment. All but just a memory momentarily seen yet incredibly powerful enough to weaken a heart’s defenses.

everyday, i learn that i am gayer than i was yesterday.

at the end of the day, were all just made of atoms

Soft skin glide under my fingertips as I listen to your every breath. The silent thumps of your heart beats rapidly under my palm. Your subtle gasps and short sighs fuel my growing desire. My wants turn to need as my stare becomes more observant. Eyes filled with tears of pleasure and ache. Lips that taste all that I know. The curve of your neck is the comfort I look for when I pray. The rise and fall of your chest is a reminder of my will and resolve. Your head tilts back to my chest with trust and certainty. I taste every ounce of your presence. It lingers in the back of my throat like a vice. I breathe in your scent that soothes me until I’m lightheaded. My voice comes out cracked and pleading. I ask— never say. Please hold my soul and let me be your anything and everything… Please?

The soft patter of the rain on my window blurs the noise of my heart. The cloud covered sky filters in my room, casting a soft blue-grey tint on my cold skin. I lay on my bed staring at the droplets that fall on the fragile glass. I look at the heavy clouds through my window flowing with water. My heart just as full, yet it does not bleed nor shed a tear. I hold it close under the warm blankets that wrap my shivering body. The weight of the world just as heavy—if not heavier. My weary shoulders sink into the mattress as my heart overfills to the corners of my eyes. I held in the sting as much as I could until they started to fall. My sobs and sighs match with the patter of the raindrops. A harmony of despair and scorn that seeps into my tired bones.

I would burn a thousand times over just to love you, if only it didnt burn you too would i let those flames engulf me till my last breath. Passion truly is akin to fire. A small spark may lead to flames that dance. But my flames for you dont dance. They sting. They burn. They hurt. The warmth of your hand in mine spreads to my soul in a way that makes me scorch and bubble. So I let go, because I know when I’m turned to ashes and nothing, it would take you too. Because I know my love is like fire. Bright. Bewitching. Beautiful. But it burns and is cruel. So I’ll love you until the last spark of my breath, and let go the moment you feel even the slightest sting.

im gonna start posting the random sht i write on my notes app cuz why not

ilya rozanov please release me (please don’t)

FUCK MAN WHAT WAS I DOING I CANT