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  That’s funny, I bet your fans would love to hear that joke, I mean, they like your songs, so clearly they enjoy bad jokes.

What? I can't hear you from all the way down there on the charts.

You know who has a really nice voice? Me.

I forgot what it sounds like. I would buy one of your albums to remind myself but that'd be weird for me 'cause usually when I wanna give to charity I just save some cats. I'd say you should try it but by now we all know not to trust you with more than one pussy.

  You can’t mean that.

What the fuck is there not to mean? I'm tired of you, I'm tired of how every other fucking day is some different tragedy with you and on those few other days, it doesn't even matter 'cause you're too fucking high to even give a fuck. I'm tired of you thinking you can treat me however the fuck you want and expect me to be okay with it just cause you won't stop fucking hugging me. I'm tired of you doing whatever the fuck you want like nothing you do matters to me but I know you don't give a fuck anyway 'cause you did try to fucking off yourself so now I don't give a fuck either. We're done and we have been for a while so find somebody else to walk all over. Or don't. Whatever. You're not my fucking problem anymore.

  Why can’t you just stop being so ignorant and love me again?

If I wanted to, maybe. But I'm fucking tired of you.

  To bad you setted down before we could had some real fun. But, I wish the best for you and her. I never have liked you or will but she seem happy so. 

Wow. I'm really fucking glad we could have this heart to...whatever it is you have in your ribcage.

  For fuck’s sake, how long are you planning on being this fucking annoying?

Eh, only for like, however long every conversation we ever have lasts.

  You barely have spoken a word to me, bone brain more less held a conversation. I wouldn’t be talking if I were you. All you do is act like a fucking know it all and a pure shit. And I’m exactly the same so we would never work out. I’m more of a bitch then you are. 

Well, I wouldn't fucking fight you on that.

So we’re going?

It's not like I'll hear the end of it if we don't.

  Bitch, I just want my best friend back.

I'd feel bad for you, but you deserve the bullshit so.

Why not? Besides, this is Florida, it’s not cold outside.

This is so fucking lame.

  Don’t worry at all. I will surely be getting my ring and my postion back before the end of the month. Your girl is very very easy to crack. Surprise you  choice was her, to be honest.

Well, I thought about choosing you but like I said, all I have's a quarter and that's way more than a fun conversation with you's worth.

Duncan! Please? It’s just one movie, and we haven’t been on a date in a long time.

Why the fuck do you wanna sit in your car for two hours at night in the middle of winter?

  I fucking swear Duncan.. You are lucky I like your girl or I would fucking punch the fuck out of your worthless face. Now go back into those comas of yours, alright? Maybe I can punch you into your next one!

You probably could if you still had a little help from that Delta Gamma President's ring.