ffrogsrcool

Yeah, okay, so you utterly failed to answer my devious riddles, but I'm gonna level with you: I was just messing with you and was totally planning to turn you into a cabbage even if you had answered them.

Shit man, this wizard bakery is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "fresh sourdough" or some similar shit, and every one around him made a sourdough starter, fed it for ten months, then baked it to perfection. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting shortbread and level 2 flapjack. I think I just heard "power word:macaron" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

I simply cannot fathom how it is that the local peasants cannot produce enough crop to feed themselves. I am currently dabbling in the practice of farming and I find that a very rudimentary casting of Walther's Bountiful Harvest, coupled a small rain ritual is all that's necessary to make a large profit. No wonder they are peasants, they must certainly have failed to obtain the barest intelligence.

Okay I kind of think this is probably some sort of scam, but I just received a letter saying I had been judged a sufficiently notable slime to be listed in the latest edition of Ooze Who.

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

Sometimes you find yourself standing still for a brief moment in your hectic life, and you smell the smell of being six years old and playing outside with your childhood best friend, the grass, their mom’s laundry detergent and something totally unidentifiable, and when you do, please call potion control, there has been a catastrophic leak and it IS fatal

mngh😫

celebrating pride with my favorite gay couple

Scheming in my tower. Laughing maniacally

As a living potion created in a vat by an evil wizard, in one way I am like a robot in that I was artificially created and given life but in another way I am kind of almost the opposite of a robot because I am liquid and robots are solid oh and also maybe I guess because I was created through magic and robots are created through technology but honestly I think the opposition of magic and technology is frequently exaggerated but anyway now I'm kind of wondering whether anyone has tried to create a slime robot or whether there could even be such a thing as a slime robot and what it would be like which wasn't what this post was originally going to be about but I mean it just got me wondering...

dammit my familiar got into the scrolls of mage hand and keeps tapping me on the shoulder and rearranging my tomes. Hes such a prick