Yfel

sparked from a @ladysdork convo as per usual.

this whole post is kind of centered around the idea that olruggio trusts qifrey so much that olly would just accept the memory wipes qifrey gives him no problem. that olruggio trusts qifrey is wiping his memories for a good reason. olly would def clock multiple gaps in his memory even if he doesn't know why qifrey's doing it. i don't think this adds up because the story has already shown us a few times that olly doesn't fully trust qifrey. i also think it's notable that there's a lot of unresolved tension between qifrey and olruggio that hasn't been resolved yet.

so to go back to the beginning. a scene that i think about a lot is olruggio's first meeting with coco. mostly because it seems.... out of character. olruggio is so harsh with coco here.

his anger at qifrey taking another apprentice at the start is easy to understand. this directly impacts olly's life and qifrey never asked him.

olly is pissed off, but he still gives qifrey a chance to explain himself. olly hasn't made any rash decisions yet.

until qifrey says coco is a victim of forbidden magic. olruggio doesn't ask for an explanation this time. he makes up his mind immediately that the situation is bad. he clearly does not trust qifrey's judgement in bringing this girl to the atelier or else he would at least wait to hear qifrey out. it takes magic for qifrey to get olly to listen.

olruggio grabs coco's arm IMMEDIATELY. for an adult who cares about kids' trust, he's so aggressive here. which shows how deeply olruggio wants to keep qifrey away from the brimcaps.

i think it's easy to connect, qifrey -> brimcaps -> bad but i wish we had more context for what exactly olly's afraid of. is he afraid of the brims killing qifrey? i don't know that that adds up because the brims stay away from qifrey. they go after coco when qifrey's not there. does he not think qifrey would be able to find them and that qifrey would drive himself crazy looking?

the explanation i think makes the most sense is that olly knows how unhealthy qifrey's obsession was last time and he wants to avoid that for qifrey i guess? but even then... olly doesn't ask any follow up questions about the situation. he doesn't ask qifrey what he plans to do with coco, he doesn't ask qifrey how forbidden magic is involved. olly just immediately jumps to brimcaps bad.

qifrey doesn't even mention the brimcaps here btw... and in a way the brims weren't involved. coco is the one who uses forbidden magic. not a brimcap. of course the brimcaps are the masterminds, but olruggio doesn't know that yet.

olruggio taking a girl he doesn't know, that qifrey has an attachment to and immediately deciding to take her to get her memory wiped is crazy. it shows how truly angry he is. this is a character we see go to bat for the kids around him. he's about to irrevocably change coco's life forever and he doesn't even hesitate.

his anger is clearly with qifrey and not coco. if his trust in qifrey was absolute, he would have at the very least heard what qifrey has to say before storming off with coco because he trusts that qifrey's intentions are good. olruggio's reaction suggest he thinks qifrey's intentions are anything but good.

and qifrey is clearly taking this seriously, he knows olly isn't bluffing because qifrey goes as far as to use his magic against olly. olruggio isn't listening and is reacting intensely so qifrey returns that intensity. it takes magic to get olly to stop.

it does get olruggio's attention and it stresses him out that qifrey would use magic against him for this kid. after qifrey already betrayed his trust by bringing on a student without telling olruggio, he hurts olly further by using his magic against him.

if olly's trust in qifrey was unshakable, they would have had this convo at the start.

and oh my goddddd their convo inside is so insane. quite honestly, qifrey treat olly with very little respect in this scene.

olruggio says this:

and qifrey's manipulation begins. he ignores olruggio and hones in on the fact that he called coco an outsider. probably trying to remind olly that he doesn't like the term outsider since it was used towards qifrey as a kid too. the derailment works perfectly. olly apologizes to coco. point 1 qifrey.

olruggio points out the irony that qifrey is making him, as watchful eye, sweep this issue under the rug and to this qifrey offers a truthful reply.

olruggio's next point is that it's not their job to investigate forbidden magic.

like it's so funny how much qifrey looks like he does not give a fuck here, but it shows how he's not taking his transgressions against olly seriously. or he doesn't care. he's reacting as if olly's anger here isn't justified. qifrey has brought a kid into olly's life without telling him, dropped a bomb on olly that forbidden magic is involved, and used his magic against olly. olly's anger is fully justified and qifrey's reaction is this loool.

so anyway instead of addressing olruggio's question qifrey again derails them again by offering coco an explanation of what the knights moralis are and ignoring olly.

qifrey finishes his explanation of the knights and chooses his dirtiest manipulation tactic yet.

this is such a bitch move to get olly to do what he wants. at the very least olruggio knows qifrey lost his memories before the great hall. qifrey knows he knows and qifrey will use that to stick the knife in and get his way. after olruggio has one last line about how he thought qifrey was going to finally settle down and then olly gives up. qifrey gets his way and coco stays.

qifrey doesn't apologize once to olruggio in this entire sequence when he at the very least could apologize for bringing in another apprentice without telling olly. qifrey barely responds to olly's questions, is openly bored when olly's speaking, and manipulates olly in really personal ways. qifrey is a dick about the entire situation quite frankly.

TLDR on this scene though is that if olruggio trusted qifrey fully, he would not have reacted like he did. he tries to take coco away without even hearing the whole story. if he trusted qifrey fully olly at the very least would ask more about how forbidden magic was involved with coco. instead olly gets warning signs going off in his brain and his first instinct is to take coco to the knights.

the entire great hall arc is olruggio doubting qifrey's sincerity in becoming coco's master. he sees qifrey abandon his apprentices to try and chase after the brim caps and doubts qifrey's sincerity towards coco's apprenticeship.

olly is doubting qifrey's goodness here. he thinks qifrey's using coco for his own dangerous means. he does not trust that qifrey is doing right by coco. to the extent that he goes to coco on his own to make sure she feels comfortable with qifrey as her master.

i also think it's notable that olruggio asks coco this after beldy has his realization about qifrey. beldy is saying qifrey is finally donning a teacher's visage.

and olly considers it, but ultimately he was there to watch qifrey ditch the kids to go after the brim caps. olly had to physically pull him back and so he has to ask coco herself that she feels comfortable with qifrey as her teacher. he doesn't trust qifrey's word alone, he needs coco to tell him directly.

and olruggio is doubting qifrey over something so serious. he thinks qifrey is using an innocent child as a means to an end. against a dangerous group of individuals. his lack of trust here goes deep. this is a lack of trust in qifrey's very character. it's an adult potentially taking advantage of a kid which i think is a soft spot for olly based on his own childhood.

in general there's a lot of aniomosity between olly and qifrey that is never resolved. qifrey never apologizes for anything.

in chapter 40, olruggio brings up trust. he's gotten coco's word that she wants to study under qifrey, but he still won't let it drop fully. he brings is up to qifrey face to face, trying to get qifrey to promise he won't abuse the trust of his apprentices. like you've abused trust with me is the unspoken part here.

so qifrey wipes olly's memories and that solves qifrey's problem of olruggio knowing too much about the brimcaps plan and his vision, but it wouldn't resolve the concerns olly's had since the great hall right?

my point here is that olruggio would still remember the things he wants to discuss with qifrey from the great hall, but we never see him bring it up again. he might not remember their conversation on the hilltop, but he remembers when he wants to have the conversation in the first place. olly leaves things alone from ch. 40, but that doesn't mean he's gotten over the things qifrey has never apologized for. instead qifrey's transgressions are piling up on top of each other. will olly have a breaking point eventually i wonder?

Ride with me, Sir Knight

My name is Sahar. Like any young woman, I dreamed of a stable and happy life. I was engaged to Mohammad, and together, we dreamed of building a warm little home where we could start our life. We spent years preparing our house, but just before our wedding, everything was destroyed in an instant by the war.

I was faced with a choice: to leave Mohammad in the midst of this chaos or to stand by him and begin our journey together, no matter how difficult it might be. I chose him. We got married, not in the dream wedding I had envisioned, but under the harsh reality of war. Our new home became a fragile tent, offering neither comfort nor security.

Today, I am seven months pregnant and living in constant fear for my unborn daughter. I am terrified of the world she will be born into—a world of poverty, hunger, and freezing cold. We’ve been displaced over nine times, carrying nothing but the weight of loss and the hope for survival. The house we dreamed of is now rubble, and the tent we live in barely shields us from the rain and cold.

How will I protect my daughter? We struggle to find enough food. Basic necessities like milk, blankets, and clothing feel impossibly out of reach. The cost of survival has become unbearable. Every night, I am haunted by the thought: how can I bring her into this world, knowing I cannot keep her safe?

I write to you with a heavy heart, pleading for help. I don’t ask for much, just the chance to give my daughter a safe beginning, a life with warmth and dignity. Every small donation can be a lifeline for us, and even sharing our story can make a difference. Please, help us survive this storm and rebuild our shattered lives.

To donate or support us, here is the link

Vetted by association I’m ayoosha-stuff friends

Hello friends, I am Yasmin from northern Gaza Strip. I am 27 years old, a mother of two children, Sila and Youssef, and I have been married for more than 7 years.

I was studying Journalism and Media at the University College, and I had both a home and a job. But because of the war, I lost my home, my work, and everything I owned.

My family’s house was also destroyed, and now we have nothing left except a worn-out tent whose torn walls cannot protect us from the heat of summer or the cold of winter.

My husband is injured. He was involved in a traffic accident while trying to get aid, and he is now disabled and unable to work.

My children have suffered from malnutrition due to the lack of food and proper nutrition.

That is why I am only asking for your help and support. I am here trying to save what is left of my children’s lives. They are between life and death.

Please, try to support us and donate whatever you can.

please donate as much as you can because that helps me a lot. If you cannot donate, tell people about my suffering.

The war has taken everything from me and my family — our home, our safety, and our source of living. We were displaced from Rafah to Al-Mawasi, and when we finally returned, we found our house destroyed and impossible to live in.Today, we live through hunger, poverty, fear, and constant pressure just to survive. Some days we cannot afford food, clean water, or even the most basic necessities. Sitting for long hours without a single meal has become part of our daily life.Before the war,

I was studying engineering and dreaming of building a better future for myself and my family. But the war stopped my education and destroyed the life I worked hard for .

I am trying to help my family survive and find a safe, stable life again. Any support, even a small donation, can help us with food, shelter, and hope during these difficult times.

lil sketch for fly's sweet fic morning time :)

archiveofourown.org/works/88424686

Some wha traditional drawings I forgot to post here