Your heart was beating fast against your chest, fast in a way you didn’t quite understand. Everything was spinning and your vision blurred, and all of a sudden it was just as hard to breathe as to understand.

Haymitch was reaped.

Your Haymitch.

You turned around in panic at the feeling of someone touching your shoulder, your mother. You couldn't see the expression on her face, you could just feel what she was feeling.

Grief.

And the games hadn't even started yet.

Somehow, you felt it too.

The grief, you wanted to scream, cry and run into the woods to never return again.

Ever.

But instead you just stood there, not even noticing the weight of your mothers hand on your shoulder.

But you did notice the way his eyes watered as he made his way to the stage, the way he clenched his fists, as if he wanted to punch someone and then quickly regretted it.

As if he felt all emotions at once.

⠀⠀﹡ ˚ . ‎‎‎‎ ༶

The moment you saw him you threw yourself into his arms, burying your face in the crook of his neck as quiet sobs escaped you.

He wrapped his arms around you, gently stroking the back of your head, your hair.

The way he always did.

As if nothing had happened at all, as if he wasn't going to die in the next few weeks.

You pulled away from him, taking a deep breath before speaking.

He was so beautiful, just like usual. Except now he had this heavy energy around him, like a cloud of anxiety threatening to swallow you both.

‐ "I love you" you begun, the sobs quickly returning as you spoke.

He hugged you again, – "I know" he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. "I love you too."

You pulled away from the hug once again, grabbing his hands, your heart beating faster at every second that passed. Knowing that you soon had to say your goodbyes.

Perhaps you'd never see him again.

It was quiet for a moment, the only sound filling your ears the shaky breaths that left both of your lungs. You forced a smile, he noticed, of course he did. – "Happy birthday" you whispered, not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

His eyes softened at that, as if something inside him absolutely shattered.

– "We'll celebrate you when you get home" you spoke, and your voice cracked. "Please come home." You pressed out, tears running down your face.

He inhaled, as if he was about to say something. And then two men walked in and grabbed you from behind, pulling you towards the door.

– "The time is up" one of them said, his voice strict, stricter than it should be when talking to an absolutely heartbroken girl.

You tried to push them of off you, – "No! No!" You shouted, but their grip was too strong.

The door closed with a thud, and the last thing you saw of Haymitch was the terrified look on his face, and that was it.

You never watched the games, couldn't bring yourself to watch all that gore, real human beings with loved ones waiting for them at home getting crushed to death inside an arena built by the government.

But that was before your Haymitch got reaped, maybe you had to watch the games this once, just to see his face one last time.