the ashes in my cigarette box

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

you always have such correct, perfect, heart wrenching song requests, and i can’t thank you enough

it’s so so good in the context of their first kiss in the games—really, all of ch14 😭 like if i was making an edit of scenes from that chapter this is the song for it.

“i will not ask you where you came from, i will not ask and neither should you” = haymitch’s realization that maybe her secrecy is a form of protection, same as his, and that he doesn’t need to know anything she isn’t ready to share (especially in the context of the previous lyrics about burying something in the earth, referring to her first kill + the jabberjays 😕)

“i will not ask you why you were creeping, in some sad way i already know” = sunshine picking up on his role in the rebellion, similarly accepting his reasoning to keep it secret, and both of them agreeing to be equals going forward

“we should just kiss like real people do” = the culmination of their confession, but also the wishes they have to change their circumstances. the line highlights how they deserve to just be two teenagers in love instead of fighting for their lives

THEY’RE SO TETHERED

i’ve talked about sunshine and peeta’s similarities + their dynamic in a world where they actually got to meet in various posts, but this is one where i really focus on their shared traits. one similarity i didn’t note is how they’re both randomly reaped. i’m sure even more will come to mind eventually too 😭

it’s interesting to think about how peeta is the only character in itsdr who has absolutely no bond or baggage with sunshine. his pov in ch20 was somewhat indulgent, but it was also genuinely significant to show how sunshine’s impact/legacy loomed over even those with zero connection or little knowledge of her.

okay yes 😭 i’m so grateful i get to talk about this scenario for a second time this week.

like i mentioned in this ask, haymitch and sunshine would have a very contentious dynamic in the immediate post games years. even in a world where they’re both victors, those first couple of years aren’t exactly easy on their relationship. in this case, from haymitch’s pov, most of their conflict would come from a place of wanting to keep her safe—ergo pushing her away—but also desperately needing to be near her.

i think venice bitch captures some of that while also highlighting a softer aspect, especially past those “growing pain” years. sunshine is about the only loving and consistently safe person he allows himself to have in his life. it’s not so much that she heals or “fixes” him; rather, by allowing love into his life, and subsequently choosing to believe he still deserves it, haymitch begins to mend some of his broken pieces, even as his trauma persists. which is exactly his arc with katniss and peeta in both canon and itsdr—it’s just a different kind of love ofc.

the post chorus emphasizes that to me. even as “summer fades,” as haymitch is painfully aware of how temporary things are in life and in panem, he stops expecting that of their relationship. also “oh god, miss you on my lips” is him every time he’s in the capitol. the only thing getting him by (aside the alcohol and the friends he does have in his fellow victors) is the hope of getting back to her.

it makes complete sense, don’t worry!! plutarch does want to turn sunshine into a symbol for the revolution, but haymitch is also a contender like in canon—there are layers to it.

most of the answers are found in his conversations with haymitch in ch19: beetee took an interest in haymitch as an asset to the rebellion, not necessarily as a symbol. plutarch thought similarly; haymitch was very much set up to be the sacrificial lamb while sunshine was the one he banked on getting out of the games. she ultimately would’ve been the face (and spectacle) of the revolution, past this single rebellion, had things played out how plutarch wanted.

in this scenario, haymitch would’ve been made out as a martyr, and there would’ve been other rebel leaders hailed in some way. but with haymitch dead, sunshine wouldn’t be a willing symbol AT ALL 💀

LMFAO by that point, he’d be more concerned (and fed up) by their tiptoeing around each other than the careers 💀

i mentioned in an ask the other day that wyatt and sunshine would’ve likely bonded more one-on-one if he lived longer, and he SO would’ve filled burdock’s shoes in prompting/teasing her about it. with more awareness of the fact that she has feelings for him of course.

he and maysilee would be over it after having already spent days in the apartment with them. it isn’t long before he starts spewing things out (he already kinda calculates odds on their obliviousness in the bonus chapter “won’t say i’m in love” 😭)

maysilee: there’s a better chance of silka growing a brain than those two finally doing something.

wyatt after analyzing every longing look between them in the last hour: they will by midnight, and she’s making the first move.

despite writing it, i was also in denial about sunshine’s fate for a long time 😭 i heavily debated keeping her alive, but i set up sunshine’s death from the beginning, and i knew it would’ve been personally and narratively dissatisfying not to follow through after building it up so much. that’s why i have the sunshine lives!au planned though!!

it has not been said so thank you for making the comparison!! it suits them too well 😭😭

my mind immediately goes to haymitch’s perspective while listening to the song, especially after sunshine’s death. there’s the sentiment that he’s damned to love (and grieve) her forever, and at the same time, her love for him is what damned him to that fate. in haymitch’s perspective, it’s mostly a punishment.

yet, despite the negative connotation of “damned,” the song also conveys a sort of acceptance of the potential consequences or pain that comes from love. their connection outweighs whatever fear or hopeless they might feel, and it isn’t really damnation at all.

I imagine this was hay when he saw Peeta caress Katniss’s braid at the end of their first games right before 🫐🫐🫐

he was in that mentor center fighting the urge not to end it then and there—mags and beetee are watching him with the suicide center on speed dial 💀 obviously that whole sequence gives him flashbacks, but i can see him fixating on that detail most of all and thinking specifically about that last night in the trees with sunshine, caressing her hair while they fell asleep…

The song is about “Sienna,” the singer and her ex’s hypothetical daughter if they had stayed together and had a future.

Obviously Sunshine + Haymitch wouldn’t be “exes,” but it plays with the idea of “what could’ve been” or their potential future had sunshine survived. (if they had normal lives)

I like to think that the song switches POV’s based on different lyrics, which is somehow 10x more heartbreaking 💔

Love hearing your perspective on music and lyrics relating to Hay+Sun🫶

first of all, i absolutely agree that the pov switches during certain lyrics. at some points, it also feels like both of their perspectives at once. “I live under your eyelids / I’ll always be yours” = sunshine and her assurances that haymitch will never truly be without her, even though they don’t get to spend a life together.

“I’ll watch the sunset wearing all your clothes / I can feel you with me like I did before” = haymitch’s acceptance and continuous longing for a future with sunshine. and then the whole bridge is them simply talking to each other, envisioning what their future and children might be like 😕 how they picture them embodying all they find endearing in each other, all they admire…

(like did she remember sunshine off the bat? or did it take a little while to remember where she knew the last name everdeen from? i would THINK she would remember her first hunger games because she wasn’t even a stylist then, so you would think she would remember it even more)

AND how she felt when katniss had to go up through the tubes BOTH hunger games…

i know she was sick to her stomach (the second time the most) having to watch the niece of a girl she once knew

oooh thank you for giving me the chance to think and talk about effie and sunshine! they’re fascinating in the sense that they know each other for less than twenty-four hours, but that brief period has a deep narrative and individual impact on them both.

sunshine doesn’t fully trust effie, but she recognizes her heart isn’t malicious and certainly trusts her enough to directly talk about haymitch with her and inadvertently ask that she look after her. past her distrust and dislike for effie’s insensitivity and ignorance, sunshine does appreciate her. would she have lived, i think they’d develop a sibling dynamic almost similar to johanna and katniss’s.

on the flip side, effie does remember sunshine, but i think she primarily does so through the lens of that ask/promise to take care of haymitch. i imagine the referenced memory in ch20 (of haymitch snapping at effie for mentioning sunshine) probably happened like eight years down the line. so sunshine definitely didn’t fade into the backdrop of tributes for her so easily, and that is in part due to what you said (how could she not remember her first hunger games as a stylist turned escort?).

oh i love these questions so much!!!

short answer: he did pick up on maysilee’s feelings. long answer: haymitch lowkey has an inkling all along. besides oliver, maysilee is the only other person we see haymitch express outright jealousy of in regards to her dynamic with sunshine. that’s cause he subconsciously suspects some more than platonic vibes there. he clearly doesn’t give it much in depth thought, but his mindset is “i know why i’m staring at her and committed to knowing everything about her, but why are you? 🤨”

i think much further down the line after the games, during a moment of reminiscence or something, it probably clicks more obviously to him. it’s interesting to think about how the dynamic between the three may have shifted had haymitch known more outright. but i truly doubt it’d change much. though he would be jealous, i think his personal care/love for maysilee would’ve outweighed any ill will. he wants maysilee to be safe and alive, and that matters more than her having feelings for sunshine too.

as for the trio of maysilee/wyatt/sunshine, they’re very dear to me even though we hardly get time with all three of them together. even though sunshine was hesitant to ally with them for all of five minutes, they don’t play about being on the same team, and they really do have each other’s backs

your comments and asks literally always brighten my day i can’t—

i have not gotten this rec before but i love it!! on top of encompassing his loneliness, it also puts into perspective just how long haymitch is left in his state of isolation and grief and longing 😕 and play on light/darkness is sooo good