KG

Military Relationships

Hold your head high, darling; make him regret the day he let you go.

You weren’t there when I needed you most. You didn’t call or hold me close. My heart was breaking in so many ways, but you walked away knowing I wasn’t okay, and I realized I was never worth it to you.

I have to say that although it broke my heart, I was, and still am, glad I was there.

They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction—and from attachment to attachment.

Don’t remember me… I don’t want to be that someone that crosses your mind when you’re lonely at night… I can’t be the person you lust for and wish to have by your side…. Don’t let me be the person that your tears fall for… Don’t allow yourself to want me when I’m around no more … Don’t sleep with my memory on your mind, don’t daydream about how it feels like to have me with you.. I don’t want to be the reason behind your pain when I’m gone… I don’t want to hurt you no more, so just forget about me. forget about how I made you feel, forget that what we once had was real. Don’t you dare remember how I made you smile, or how I looked back at you when you acted like a child…. please forget my love and care, forget that I was willing to show up at your door when you needed me there… Don’t remember me.. because you’re the reason I’m with you no more

To the people who listens even to the least important words that come out of my mouth, thank you. You all matter to me.

“Have you been well?,” he asks “Surprisingly, yes. Have you?,” she says “That’s good to hear. Me too,” he says “I’ve been wanting to tell you this but I didn’t have the chance. I.. I want you to know that, even if you didn’t regret leaving me behind back then, I still am thankful we happened. It was hard at first when you left. Gahd, it was close to hell. But as I inhaled all the pain and sadness, I learned to exhale them slowly. Then one day I woke up without any thoughts of you and it was the same as the next day. I learned to smile without faking it. I felt kinda free and though there were times when things reminded me of you, it didn’t hurt anymore,” she says and means it..

Do you want to know how did we end up here this way? You just stopped texting, and I stopped waiting.

To “the one”, Wherever you are, I hope you are safe. Wherever you are, I hope you sleep well every night. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing great with your life. I’m not sure if God has allowed us to meet or even just walked over on the same path or coexisted in the same place, but in any way, my heart and soul misses you. I don’t know if your name ever crossed my mind, but it’s sure as hell would be my favorite word to say out loud.  I imagine a future with you. I picture myself starting my day with your face to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes. To be showered with your slow, lazy kisses as my wake up call and not because of an alarm. Laughing in the midst of every touch of our lips as we kiss and smiling as we stare eye to eye. I dream about tracing your face with my hands while you’re dead to the world and me falling asleep with the sound of your heartbeat echoing mine. I think about the road trips and the music we’re going to play and sing together even though I’m out of tune. I wonder if you’d let me play with your hair as you lay on my lap and if you’d hold my hand while we walk around. I hope you enjoy listening to music as much as I do. Or at least you’d let me play my favorite songs to you. I hope you like reading, too. If you don’t, that’s fine. But let me have a library in our house, okay? Do you think we can adopt a cat and a dog? because I like to have both, but if you don’t, at least one pet? I thought I’d let you know that I like drinking coffee to start my day and sometimes I forgot to stop. Please, remind me to stop. I’ll try my best not to be clumsy because I am clumsy. And my skin is sensitive and easily bruised, so please, please, please.. be gentle with me. You need to know that my mind runs faster than any bullet train and sometimes I just spaced out and forget about the world. Hold me.. Send me back to earth. just hold me and I’ll come back to you. I want to stay up late with you. I want to just lay in our bed talking and laughing until sleep finally visits us. I want peace and quiet with you. I want it all with you. I dream of you often, even if I haven’t met you. And I know I love you, even before I realized it. And think about the ways you’re gonna make me fall in love with you. And I think about the reasons why you’re gonna love me too. Let’s make a promise to not let the romance die. Let’s make this love of ours eternal. Wherever you are, I miss you and I love you. See you soon, my love. love, me

Let us go back to the start when things used to be beautiful; When the awkward “hey” and “hi” were cute; When we give up sleep just to chat because we were so into each other; When we were the first thought on each other’s mind; When we spill rainbows and butterflies with every word exchanged; When we were each other’s sanity in this messed up life; When we were so honest and we did not hesitate in saying how we feel at the moment; When we were willing to drown in each other’s ocean, we know that we will swim out of it together; When I held your hand and suddenly it felt like the universe was within my reach; When we knew what we were to each other but we did not give any labels; Let us go back to those times when you wanted me and you were happy.