we're fallin' in love

it's embarrassing how much he melts under her touch. a few weeks without her close and he's a wreck just having her stand next to him, let alone combing her fingers through his outgrown curls. and then before he knows it, that feeling is gone and he's cold, lonely, and the space between them feels less like a breath away and more like a bottomless chasm. "it's definitely getting there. I don't even think I'd be any better off straightening it." he comments with a smile and a shiver down his spine, to avoid thinking about how this could be considered yet another way he'd let her down. "I do. doesn't make it any easier getting to work in the morning, though." sleeping through his alarms, feeling sluggish because who wants to wake up to a day where you're miserable from the moment you open to your eyes, to the second your brain finally gives up and lets you get those measly few hours in before you have to do it all over again? "right now I'm thinking about whether or not I can get away with bleach processing on my hair while I cut someone else's, and that I'm glad you're wearing that coat because it always looks so warm and it's kinda nippy today, or maybe that's just me." he's the one looking at her now, while she stares at her hands, ring between her fingers. "I really wish I hadn't, too. worst thing I ever did."

"stop..." her brows pull into a frown. confused, pained, stuck. "stop being nice to me, it's weird." she eventually mutters, eyes flitting between her shoes and his, noting the scuff at the front of her right. it must've happened earlier today. everything feels so out of her control. imperfect shoes, boys who are supposed to be assholes softening under her insecurities and the one who's supposed to be soft feeling like sandpaper to the touch, be it her heart or her fingertips. "no—" because she needs to be wanted somehow, by someone, even if it's not real. "who would I be to deprive you of the entertainment?"

"oh, no, don't get the wrong idea." he immediately argues, another long drag forcing a pause, eyes locked on her. "no growing up going on over here, don't worry." a small, flat smile stretches his lips, but it's quickly interrupted by a grimace, pain throbbing in his cheekbone. instant karma, really. "don't worry about that either. you just focus on being pretty instead; we can't all have it all." he shrugs, shuffles to flatten one foot against the wall. his jaw tenses, noticeable like every other even minute emotion that passes over his features. he's always been a painfully open book. "yeah, moms just love me." not his, though. not once in those five years. "I mean, if you're offering, I could go for a round of applause, actually."

Dakota's jaw dropped for what felt like the 20th time. "Oh my god that's crazy! Who knew that there was so much drama to be had at that motel." Dakota would have to visit Daphne at work more often, just to catch a glimpse at some of this drama she sees on the daily. "So it turns out that two players on my team are seeing the same guy and neither of them know. That's going to be messy."

"these people must have only ever seen motels in movies or something." her eyes roll, weight resting on her elbows as she slumps forward. she can't always delight in it, though, pointed stare from her boss letting her know she should be helping deescalate instead of enjoying the show. "what?" she gasps, arms falling as she leans in. "are you going to tell either of them? it's kind of your circus, right?"

"Pardon me from every questioning your ways." He joked as he finished tightening the bolt and slid out from under the bed and standing up. Jason marked this task off the to-do list sheet folded inside his toolbox. "Great now that that's done. I'm thinking it's time for lunch. We deserve a break." He says as if they haven't been sitting in this room for the better part of 30 minutes just slacking off.

she finds it a little endearing that he has a physical to-do list. most people under forty would probably just put it in a note on their phone, if they have one at all. "you're right, I've worked really hard today." she nods thoughtfully, grin growing into a laugh at herself. when was the last time she worked hard? it's easier to blame her inability to hold a job on her work ethic, than to think about the why she's ended up like this. "what have you got? do you think we can order delivery?"

"Yeah I know what you mean. Sometimes I'm still surprised that I don't have to get up in the morning and go to class or rush to get a paper done." Margot nodded, smiling a bit. "Yeah I think so. I love see people's reactions when they get their paintings." Margot's eyes scanned over the board as if she was planning on ordering anything but her usual. "Do you normally get it hot or iced?" She asked turning her gaze to him.

luke never went to university, never passionate enough about anything to dedicate what little time he had between helping raise their youngest siblings to studying. high school feels like a lifetime ago, too, nearing twenty years on. the passing of time makes him nervous. "I imagine that's really rewarding." not at all an equal comparison, but he loves watching people's faces light up when he gets to hand them something they've been waiting for in the mail. "always hot. you?"

her pointer finger taps against the side of her head as laughter snorts out of her. “kind of the move, if you think about it," said with the wisdom of a spy. which, to be clear, winnie is not. “they say the best lies are grounded in truth. there's something there.” her eyes roll when he meets her gaze, and she doesn't even mean to do it, but her smile gives her away. “well, there you go. she's after your drugs. solved it.” 

"you know, it's kind of suspicious how much you know about spies... I'm just sayin'..." his eyes narrow, but his grin is impossible to hide as usual. not that he's got the sense to keep anything close to his chest — and for that reason, he'd be a terrible spy. "you think?" as if she's serious. although, if he were self-aware, it wouldn't be a bad plan. he is painfully easy to trick. clearly. "that must be it. she must've bailed when she realised the supply from me wasn't gonna be that good. there's no other reason why she'd leave a date with me, right?"

she doesn't know what to do with the compliment, but she can't deny it's nice to hear, from grace of all people. god, if only she could go back in time, let twelve-year-old gwyn know that grace liang called her pretty. in her farm clothes, nonetheless. “…yes.” the click of the gas tank never sounded so nice. “same graduating class, actually.” not that she's particularly anxious to give her the upper-hand, but in her defense, gwyn tried her best to keep to herself back then. “well,” a pause, “it's nice to meet you again.” 

"well," she hums, lips pressed into a thin line, "I didn't pay attention in school, so that checks out. unless by chance you were on the boys' ice hockey team?" grace grins, pushing herself off her car. there's little chance of her remembering gwyn and any normal person would be embarrassed — same graduating class, for fuck's sake — but grace is only interested in someone when they make themselves interesting. she can only assume this is the first time gwyn's given her something to be curious of. "it's nice to meet you again, too... crop... plow... leave it with me. I'll workshop a nickname. for next time you see me."

makes sense. theodora's always been like a magpie, drawn to shiny, pretty things. it makes him wonder if that's to mean they'd been doomed from the start. "we do look it, a little." he smiles, watching her in the reflection. she's watching him, maybe because it's easier than looking him in the eye. for a moment, he lets himself think despite the lingering tension, they look natural together, like they're supposed to be by each other's sides, like wherever you find one, the other will always be somewhere close by. he doesn't get too carried away, her voice cutting through the quiet again. "getting hard to ignore, I think." he laughs breathily. "in hindsight, I should get it sorted or my clients might start thinking it's on purpose and lose faith in my eye." then, she asks the million dollar question. how is he? "well… at least I've shaved this time." a long breath drawn in, then exhaled slowly. "um… I’ve been better, if I'm honest. I hate how bright every light in my flat is, it's giving me headaches, and I'm late to work every other day, and I miss you, but I have faith whatever happens is what's meant to happen for us." the universe will know what to do. right? "what about you?"

closed  starter  for  grace  @fcreverlasting setting:  coastal  coffees

grace never claimed to be good at advice. everyone should listen to her, of course, but that doesn't mean the things she says are morally correct or the smart path through a tough situation. it just means it's what grace herself would do. "how? by going out in my best latex dress." she frowns, as if the answer is obvious, taking june's question at face value. "okay, so? you're single, you can do whatever you want." not strictly true; grace is technically single, but she can barely think about anyone else lately, can't even entertain the idea of getting under anyone else. if she could, she would've offered herself to june. "because those people didn't care the way we wanted them to. anyway, this doesn't mean you've moved on, it just means you're prepared to. you're trying. you're just having fun. right?"

since  hearing  about  lukes  fall  out  with  his  siblings,  nesrin  couldn't  help  but  feel  a  little  guilty.  she  was  trying  to  not  let  it  affect  how  she  was  when  she  was  around  luke,  though.  she  didn't  want  to  add  another  thing  on  his  plate.  she  didn't  think  that  it  was  something  that  he  needed  to  be  aware  of,  anyway.  he  was  just  her  being  her.  she  was  sensitive  to  this  sort  of  thing.  it  was  easier  to  let  the  emotions  take  their  course,  not  let  them  be  a  bigger  problem.  she  would  get  over  it  sooner  or  later.  she  just  hadn't  realised  how  obvious  it  was  to  him.  she  was  quick  to  be  confused  as  luke  spoke.  she  really  didn't  want  to  make  this  into  a  big  deal  so  instead  of  divulging,  she  doubled  down.  "  what  are  you  talking  about,  luke?  i  said  i’m  fine.  everything’s  fine.  "  at  least,  she  hoped  that  he'd  believe  her,  that  he'd  take  what  she  was  saying.  she  didn't  think  that  this  needed  to  be  said,  otherwise  she  would  have  told  him  already.  "  you  don't  need  to  do  anything.  it's  all  fine.  "

there it is again. the confused look on her face, the I'm fine, everything's fine like nothing is so very clearly wrong. fine, fine, fine. and why wouldn't it all be? he's got one sibling who won't talk to him, another who's barely starting to again, elias caught in the middle, a girlfriend who can't seem to look him in the eye anymore. the girlfriend he'd wanted so badly to protect, to give them the best chance at surviving anything that came their way, and yet, at the first hurdle, he feels like he's running alone. "I'm talking about the awkward silences and the distance between us all the time and the fact you just said the word fine three times. no one who's actually fine has to say it three times." he'd know. "I can't get corinne to be honest with me— but I really thought you always would be." he and corinne are too alike, always trying to guard others' hearts before their own, and if he weren't so tender lately, maybe he'd see that's all nesrin's likely trying to do, too.

the reality of the situation slowly settles into her bones…and aches. even more when he doesn't fight back. not that winter needs a fight right here, in her place of work, where surely at least one other nurse had their ear pressed against the door. but it's an added twist of the knife, that the only time he's willing to stand down is his worst affront. she takes several steps backward, desperate to put some space between them. “well, i don't know what you want me to say.” she hears the wobble in her own voice and hates herself for it, so she throws her hands up and hopes the sound of impact with her legs is enough to cover it. desperate for something to do with her hands, a distraction, a reason not to watch him at his most vulnerable, her eyes glance around the room, but she finds nothing to do except to treat him. and she just doesn't think she has it in her anymore. “brett's been through a lot, todd,” she doesn't need to know the specifics to see that's written all over him. doesn't understand why he can't grasp that. “and i can…commend you for your honesty. and i…appreciate your apology,” words spoken through clenched teeth and paired with a sniffle she detests. “but it's not lost on me that you waited and i don't think i'm the only one that deserves one.” she's not looking at him anymore, focused on cleaning up whatever mess she made before any tears fall. when she speaks again her tone is tired, clinical. “you don't need stitches, and the best thing for your nose is an ice pack four times a day. don't drive home. another nurse will finish cleaning you up.” 

"you don't need to say anything, winter." all but whispered, tone so gentle it's reminiscent of their earlier days, when the days were hard and the nights were even longer and they both needed to hold and be held. now, he just needs to get out of here. not for his sake, but for hers. how she moves, uncertain, desperate. how he's sitting there quiet, physically close but mentally so far away yet she's erratic like his presence suffocates her. it's the first time in seven years that he thinks maybe he shouldn't have held onto hope for forgiveness. "so have you." simple, as he rubs at a sore spot at the base of his right thumb. as if all of him doesn't ache. his instinct is to argue, to tell her not to commend him for the bare minimum, that she should demand better from him. but it feels too close to begging her to give him a chance to prove he's not that man anymore and he's not something he could ever outright ask her to put herself through again. "I know, but you're the most important one." a long breath drawn in, wincing through the pain. he's already moving to step down off the bed when she starts rattling off instructions, and he hears them, but he can't guarantee he's listening. he won't make one specific mistake again, though— "I won't. drive. I'll—" it dawns on him then that his phone is mostly unusable. then, that even if it weren't, he wouldn't know who to call anyway. "I'll walk. pick up my car tomorrow or something." he brushes down his clothes, frowns at the blood on the front of his t-shirt. he wonders if it's worth trying to salvage it. "no need," doesn't want any of her colleagues to ask questions, "I've seen you do it enough times, I can do it." yet, he stands at the door, unable to leave quite like this, but not knowing what else he can say. goodbye feels too final, see you around a threat. eventually, in the uncomfortable silence of the room, he settles on, "thank you," before disappearing out of view, adrenaline carrying him home.

In need of a more quiet escape for lunch, Wes decided to hit up Shirley's. He loved the community center, but the chaos of summer had begun and he wanted a few minutes to himself. Normally he'd be fine with someone joining him, but as he saw Grace slide in across from him, Wes froze immediately. His eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed at her words, though he tried to keep his anger at bay.

god, she should've known this would get her nowhere. this is the price she pays for trying to be nice, or at least neutral. to put this back and forth behind them and at least coexist in the same town. instead, she has to hear about noah again— "do you ever have independent thoughts? like, do you ask yourself 'what would noah do?' when you order your lunch, or when you choose what clothes to dress yourself in in the morning? or does he lay them out for you?" she knows she's being cruel, knows it'll look like she hadn't come here with good intentions at all. but she knows she had. it can hardly be her fault that wes is barely the man she'd known anymore. "what truth?" her eyes roll as she leans back into her seat, patience already wearing far too thin. "and for the record, I wasn't calling you gross. you brushed past me in sweaty leather, what else was I supposed to say? it could've been bea coming off stage and I would've said the same thing."

"Nah, too unrealistic. What am I? A character in a kid's show? I gotta have my dark, brooding moments." Tabby shot back, smile on her face so Nora knew she wasn't upset about the remark. In a perfect world, yes, she would love herself always. But everyone had their insecurities. "I'm sure you could get into it. You don't have to be angry. You can smash things as a form of liberation or excitement. I went once in vet school. Most of the items were old printers. Believe me, we were happy to destroy those things." Though she did get Nora's point-of-view. Tabby personalized inanimate objects all the time.

nora just can't imagine it. sure, no one could be happy twenty-four-seven, but dark and brooding? maybe just rougher days, or long evenings where the world is too quiet. but she can't imagine tabby insecure the way she gets, or worrying about what other people think of her. if even tabby could feel that way, what chance does nora have? she continues to frown, even though it does soften a little. she chooses to latch onto the discussion of anger instead, despite it not sitting much better on her heart. "I think I just wouldn't be able to get past wondering if any of those things could be given another lease of life. not necessarily repaired, but repurposed. although, I suppose being smashed is a purpose..."

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