how to be a heartbreaker

owen: why is my brother such an asshole!!

owen: he blows through his money and is constantly asking my fam and i for it!! it's exhausting and annoying!!!

tori: what the fuck? that's so wrong.

Maya: I swear if that actually happens, and brie is the one that has to drag him to a jewelery store, i'd just rather drag him and pick out my own ring and then be like "ill be back in ten minutes" to see if he actually buys it

Maya: Oh my god. I think i actually unfollowed him on everything but facerange - but then again i don't go on there unless im posting happy birthday on someones wall lol but GOD DAMN IT what the heck

Tori: i mean, she's not trying to fuck him anymore is she? i mean, she's got a ring herself. so...it's not entirely problematic. lmfao.

Tori: remember that time she sent that picture of herself in that pastel lingerie to cam like a while back lmfaooooooooo what the fuck.

Tori: anyway

Tori: i don't know. it was like he got drunk and decided that he'd design for urban outfitters. he's a fucking idiot and i hope his hair falls out from all the bleach.

Maya: Okay but like if owen does do this for you. how do i start leaving hints around for Cam lol

Maya: but honestly, tristan need to end up not salty. he is the one who went god knows where, and broke up with his boyfriend and fucked everyone else over

Tori: lmfao cam is a fucking idiot. honestly, it's going to take torres basically dragging him by his hoodie collar into a jewelry store and then kicking him in the ass all the way to the counter MY GODDDD.

Tori: so yeah, i'd either talk to his best friend or just be straight forward about it like i was lmfao.

Maya: OH. MY. GOD.

Maya: Honestly, lemme go get the popcorn for that cause that will be something to watch when he comes home for break and you end up with a rock on your hand -angel emoji-

Tori: RIGHT

Tori: -ss of owen's tweet-

Tori: i've lost the entire ability to function aside from texting you.

Tori: my brain is literally that episode of spongebob where he forgets everything except fine dining and breathing except he's forgotten everything and the place is even more on fire than in the episode.

Tori: ohhhhh my god

Tori: holy fuck

↳ INSTAGRAM: torixsants uploaded a new picture! - with @fckboyowenmills

i got this in class and i could honestly only reply with a oomfchat of me giving the thumbs up because not only can i not do anything with/about this right now, but i’m awkward as fuck and still don’t know how to function dating the dude i’ve been crushing on since i was fourteen. #mcm

@fcktori: i should be studying but here i am.

@owenmilligan: @fcktori i thought that said my fiancee and i was confused as hell.

@vic.tori.ous: @owenmills lmfaoooo. it's for a youtube video, and i'm now trying to get free food out of it. it's for the views and the lols, but like...i'm not doing anything i shouldn't except doing that whole trick where you can put a thong between your knee to fake a butt pic.

@vic.tori.ous: @owenmills https://i.pinimg.com/originals/da/e5/11/dae5118c8e1389de6c1718257a2aacc5.jpg

@vic.tori.ous: @alexasantamaria i'm out here stealing mans.