gotta pack my bags leave my world behind

Things in Cam’s life were rarely easy. It always felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, whether that weight was put on by himself or by others. He had the tendency to get himself in insane situations, so waking up in the woods when he was damn sure he’d died? This was just another thing he couldn’t deal with.

He had to, though. So he forced himself to get up and tried to ignore the too-much-too-fast feeling that the sounds, scents and sights of the world were thrusting upon him. It felt different, way too different to be normal. 

It was like he was half in a trance as he stumbled through the forest. He just wanted to go home, to bury his face in Maya’s neck and stay there forever. Maya.

Maya. 

He had to get to her. Part of him questioned whether or not she’d be in their apartment, but he figured it was a good first stop. There weren’t hundreds of places for her to go, so the small list would be fine for him to work through even in this state. Selfishly, he hoped she would just be at home. The less mental effort he had to put into finding her, the better. 

When he finally arrived at their apartment he slipped the spare key from out of the loose spot behind the doorjamb and let himself in, jumping when Clover & Zara’s barking caught him off guard. It sounded like they had goddamn megaphones, right in his ears. 

“Jesus fuck I’m selling you both.” 

Maya hadn’t been back at the apartment very long. She hated bouncing between her parents and then Mac & Brizzy’s apartment. If it had just been herself she might have stayed there. but with two dogs, one being Clover who liked to pee on anything and eat up shoes, she didn’t want that to end up happening to something of Brizzy’s or worst Caleb’s. So the apartment wasn’t the same without Cam, but at least the dogs had their spots and calmed finally for the most part.

It was hard sleeping in their bed still, Maya had made the couch her bed, and tore through boxes here, and at her parents house until she found Hoot, sleeping with him again. It hadn’t been something Cam gave her, but the meaning behind it still connecting the small stuffed owl to him. She had a blanket that was warmer than one of the throws along the top of the couch, and the apartment was pretty clean, another thing she had started doing since Cam died, she needed a distraction she cleaned. She rearranged things, she tore the kitchen apart one day just because she didn’t like how it was set up anymore. 

Today of all days, she had been looking at twitter, getting notifcations from 3/4 of the 5sos boys, and she found that strange, but she had sworn both Mason and Arrow had deactivated everything. Something changed, and soon she saw Cameron tweeted. She honestly thought it was a joke until she saw instagram. She didn’t know how everyone was coming back, but honestly she wasn’t getting her hopes too high for Cam to come back. She dealt with his death once, or what she thought the first time. And this time, at least she didn’t tell everyone it was stupid to be mourning his death. But she tried not to let herself go down the whole she went last time. Brie honestly helped her with that at first.

Being in the other room, pulling clothes from the closet, debating on if she was ready to go back into their room, she figured she would just start with cleaning the closet. She left Cam’s clothes where they were but all of her thing were throw about the room. A pile to donate and one to keep, and other to get rid of entirely. Hearing the dog’s bark. Maya didn’t get phase by it unless she started to hear growling. But then she heard him.