WHOOO?

I love them still. I don’t want them back, but I care for them very very much. They hate me now and that’s fine. I’m still not fully sure why they hate me, but I know it worsened after a post I made somewhere else a little while ago. I accused them indirectly, knowing they would see it. I was delusional and thought they were stalking me and trying to scare me. They obviously weren’t. Now they hate me. They probably want me dead. I wanna reach out and apologize so fucking bad. I don’t want them to start talking to me again. I just want them to know I didn’t mean it. I hate myself so much for this. They are so beautiful and perfect and I got with them when I wasn’t healthy enough to do so. It was my fault, I should have known better. I still adore them. And there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t wanna get back with them, I just want them not to hate me. I’m not hurting anyone. They think something about me that I don’t understand. I still don’t know why they said it. Every time I think about it I want to die. I don’t know what makes them think I did that. I can’t tell them I didn’t, that would be wrong. If they think I did, then I did. If you see this, please know I still love you more than I can describe because you are a beautiful human being. Please know that I’m sorry for how I acted when we were together. Please know that I don’t act that way at all anymore and I’ve grown (I am only saying this so you know I am sorry for what I did before. I do not want to pursue anything and I only want you to understand that I’m sorry). Please stay safe. You are still very dear to me as a person, just as everyone else I know is. 🦭🦖

Thinking about posting the stories of both my experiences with sexual assault. After that maybe I’ll post the username of my sexual assaulter if anyone’s interested.