What exactly are these better things? Whining to someone else about your pitiful life?
Pitiful life? Sebastian, please stop projecting your life on to me. Itās embarrassing.Ā
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@faultlessfabray
What exactly are these better things? Whining to someone else about your pitiful life?
Pitiful life? Sebastian, please stop projecting your life on to me. Itās embarrassing.Ā

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Still alive? What is this, Nightmare on Penbrook Row? Do we really need to see Shriveled Shaesterās face loomingĀ āround anymore? Letās just hope he plays dead well, and stays outta here; Iām not trying to get back an hour with someone who looks like a sad penis. Almost as depressing as having straw for hair, which sheās got down pat so Iām sure it wouldnāt be too much of a step down from her usual dumpy state.Ā
Gosh, first I have to hear the world yammer ābout KatastropheĀ Kardashianās latest, get relevant scheme - plastic cuffs, and a perfect visual of her melting, I mean crying, face that looks like Grinchās snout when he frowns - and my other usual go-to source for news will be yammering about another kidding kidnapped story? Someone needs to shake this place up, or better yet, be a shining light in what has to beĀ ārounding up to a dull Penbrook edition. Iām feeling awfully generous these days, so much so, Iād let the best reporter on the paper interview me - you. I know my followers are always looking for a spread on me yabberingĀ ābout how Iām awesome, and who totally isnāt.Ā
I donāt wish death upon anyone. That may be a lie but it, at least, made me feel like a good person when I typed it. Iāll correct myself. In the general sense, I donāt. Schuester may have not been the best professor ever but he had his rare moments. They were quickly over shadowed by him seeming completely uneducated in his own subject matter.Ā
You donāt like Kim Kardashian? I would have thought you did. You seem like a rip off Kim time to time again.
The Pembrooke Chronicles doesnāt write articles like that. We are very serious and established student newspaper. Youād know that if you actually read it.
TEXTSĀ š±QUINNTANA
SP: All you need to know is they'll without a doubt, upscale all of yours. [wink emoji]
[a beat]
SP: I warn you because I don't want to see you drooling with the rest, I rather see a cute little smile on your face when I find you in the crowd.
SP: Seriousness aside, I'm going bare-naked in all the legal areas I can in the theme of, Girls Kicking Ass. Wbu?
QF: I feel that's problematic for most reasons than one if you're actually be serious.
QF: For the big party this year, I'll be The Bride from Kill Bill. Katana and all.
TEXTSĀ š±QUINNTANA
QF: So what barely there costume did you decide on for Slutoween?
Desperation usually causes me to break out in bitch-tastic rants like when I get a whiff of anything from Victorias Cheap Secrets, honestly. I hate when men canāt get the first clue, let alone the third. Ā
I know the feeling, except I usually find myself tangled in that train of thought when thinking about your roots, but never the less, your welcome. High school sweethearts are only something a generation that believed in shoulder pads would find reasonably acceptable, or a reality that wouldnāt end in floating body parts, and missing never-beens nine times out of ten, honestly.Ā
Oh, anything good coming out?Ā
I really donāt understand how it is so hard to find a decent man. Most of them that I meet are vile.
I still think he is alive. How depressing would it be to go to jail for killing someone like Schuester?
Nothing to existing. We are covering the disappearance of Mr. Schuester thoroughly though. Itās sadly the most exciting thing going on currently.

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Your lack of social skills is absolutely alarming to me.
Now if we are just going to be exchanging barely insulting quips at each other, I have better things to do with my time.
Oh well. Okay. Yes how about I join you on your daily coffee adventures Iāll bring my homework so we can study. If it floats your boat and you have time to spare before class I did score two tickets to Gambit if you want to tag along. Coffee sounds good though! And Bas is pretty awesome, heās my man.
So tomorrow Iāll stop by your daily coffee route then?
We will be hanging out once. if I can tolerate you enough, maybe Iāll extend that. I highly doubt it though. What is Gambit? Some weird thing youāre into, I assume.Ā
Sure. Whatever youād like. Iāll text you where I go.
Yeah right, Iām delightful to talk to.
Your lack of self awareness is horrifying.Ā
Oh please, you have a small few of selected individuals you consider to be inferior. Exactly like him.Ā
Worked up? Quinnie-Pie, chill your sweet cotton candy and get yourself slapped in the face with a fish full of reality. Your opinion means as much to me as my love affair with the #hobo living under the bridge does. Berry and I are doing whatever we please, thank you very much. We havenāt discussed it yet.
Donāt be bitter that youāre in that small select few, Sweetie.
Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. The fact that you so easily jump on the defensive is fun to toy with. I do think you both would look great as Big Edie and Little Edie though.Ā
What else then?
His gruff voice can do wonders in certain areas, Iām sure. God, Leo Let Downcrapio?Ā Donāt even get me started. Iām pretty sure the sandbags needed in New Orleans before and after Katrina, somehow hopped the levees and snuck into Leoās under eyes, and what was once a jaw-dropping jawline. Aging is honestly Godās karma to white people, I swear - even the good ones. Romeo and JulietĀ ā96 has caused me to waste a few pillows, but now, I agree, just hideous. Awe his wife; now that I remember that straw hair and her smile lines that are obviously a landing pad for our rubustĀ crow population - Iām more certain than ever he ran away. I wouldnāt blame him; if I had to wake up every morning to the only Golden Girls cast member that hasnāt got the dead-damn memo: give it up already; Iād flee too. Iāll be studying for classes that actully pertain to my education, not to mention actually excercing my musal talents in places that will also benefit me. What about you?Ā
Why would I even say? I like peopleās desperation to try to get with me. Itās almost entertaining.Ā
Your words are messed up poetry, Santana. I never know whether to praise your banter or try to determine if youāre clinically sane. Iām sure Mr. Schuester and his wife were the classic high school sweethearts gone wrong. When your young and someone is willingly sleeping with you, you look past a lot of things. But yes, his wife seems like she belongs in an asylum or a retirement home.Ā
About the same. I have far more important classes I want to focus on. Schueās class was an easy credit. While I was on the top of his class, itās not like Iām not in others. I also have my articles for the school newspaper to focus on as well.Ā

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You can just call me Ryder if it helps, I know this university is formal but Iād like to consider you my friend. Okay, how about we meet up soon then? Who is the other dude? Is it Sebastian because heās hilarious. Always laughing at his stuff in class. And Iāll take that as a compliment, thanks Quinn!
It doesnāt help. Be happy Iām not calling you that other one. Sure. Sooner but then later. Iām not going to draw out hanging out with you. Do you want to get coffee? I go daily anyway. I suppose you can join me. Yes, itās Sebastian. Heās a grade A moron. Heās a privileged asshole who thinks he can do whatever he wants. All the Smythes are like that actually. ...Youāre totallyĀ not welcome.
Oh⦠Well I just want to support you Quinn thatās all. I know Iām not a good writer so I look up to you, I admire your independence and intelligence. Do you want to study together then?
Thatās a bummer. I always looked forward to his classes, Mr. Schue was always a nice guy. So we donāt go to class or anything? Do you hang out with me instead?
Well arenāt you just precious, Lynn. Youāre in luck because I have literally nothing better to do with my time currently. Iām caught up on my school work and out of the other two āmenā in our āfriend groupā, you piss me off the least. Donāt give me a reason to go from strong dislike to hatred for you too.
Yeah right, Iām delightful to talk to.
At least now I know what youāre not crazy since you obviously donāt talk to yourself. To think Iām choosing to hang out with Ryder because heās my best option. There has to be better people out there then you idiots.
Fuck that, youāre too boring to pick your own name.Ā
Iām going to call you Quinnifer from now on.
And Iām going to call you nothing because I wonāt be talking to you.
What do you think I should call you then?
Your superior in virtually every aspect. Or you know...Quinn.Ā

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Would you prefer to be called a straight up bitch?
Thatās more of Santanaās title.
Do you shake your tail feather like a good lil bitch too when master finally does a one-twoĀ step in that perfect place to cure a nagging itch right up? Are do you only perk at the sound of your middle name?Ā
John Stamos? Look at you, Quinn, having taste. Mine is Brad Pitt. Weāll excuse the D-Drop day that happened a couple days ago because of his soon to be ex, because not even wrinkles and a wrist that getās a case of theĀ loosey-goosey when a bottle is in hand, can mask a jawline sculpted for the best kind of sitting any lady can ask for. Um duh, and you can thank: Daddy Issues, a life-long commitment to getting men so unappealing it should be criminal, laid. I told them to just Google any recent gel factory break-ins, or if Mr. Rogerās grave has been robbed, hopefully they took my advice. Plus, I think we should all be on the watch out for Justin Timberlake Ā or Nick Jonas - I wouldnāt put it past Schuester to try and pull aĀ āFace-Offāwith some R&B hunk in his last attempt to be relevant in anything but decaying - oh wait, I mean aging - like a fuzzy peach.
It takes more than that toĀ perkĀ me up.Ā
If he didnāt speak, Brad Pitt could be a decent choice. At least he aged better than Leonardo DiCaprio. I would have literally done anything to be with him in his prime days. Now...not so much. Iām sure heās still very much alive unless his crazy wife ended up killing him. Heās so boring that I canāt imagine anyone killing him. Maybe he offed himself. Who knows? So what are you doing with that free time now?