[Ted] Turner himself seems capable of only the most banal thoughts and insights. In the 1980s he became convinced that he would be shot by an assassin, and told his then-mistress what he would say to his killer: "Thanks for not coming sooner."

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@fatpinocchio
[Ted] Turner himself seems capable of only the most banal thoughts and insights. In the 1980s he became convinced that he would be shot by an assassin, and told his then-mistress what he would say to his killer: "Thanks for not coming sooner."

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Proto-Indo-European man: Say something in Proto-Basque-Burushaski. Etruscan woman (in Etruscan): I'm telling you, that's not a real thing. Proto-Indo-European man: *Dyéwes, that's hot. Proto-Basque-Burushaski really is the language of love.
arnold schwarzenegger’s life story is so unbelievable that him marrying jfk’s niece is just another detail like yeah sure whatever that might as well happen
this is my OC his dad beat him so he started lifting and became literally the most swole guy in the world and a millionaire and then one of the world’s most famous movie stars and married the president’s niece and was elected governor.
Adobe Acrobat, Adobe Strongman, Adobe Two-Headed Freak of Nature
You say the Earth is round.
I ask, who benefits from the Earth being round?

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ancient inscription intended for posterity: He was the King, beloved of the gods, the Golden One.
contemporary letter: You are the King, beloved of the gods, the Golden One. Your servants are besieged by the Foreignu and we're all going to die.
I’m considering quitting my job so that I have more time to pursue my passion of configuring my software development tools
The operation was not simple for several reasons. First, German troops at the Czech border were not parties to the agreement and would likely oppose the American troops entering the area. Second, many of the hundreds of horses were pregnant.
Maybe disgust is a good basis for morality, but using modern medicine we can figure out what is objectively disgusting by looking at its disease risk. Thus, not washing your hands is pretty evil. Not washing your hands after murder is even more evil (blood is a bio-hazard). Murder, on the other hand, is not great, but if done properly (like with a long range weapon) is less evil than sharing a hair brush (lice infection risk).
General Electric, General Dynamics, General Atomics, General Motors, and General Mills should collaborate to create America's first ever nuclear powered long-range autonomous off-road breakfast cereal.

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Good news for Zoroastrianism!
Throughout his tenure as mayor, Adams has been locked in a fierce battle with millions of the city's residents. [Oblivion NPC voice] "Everyone that knows me knows one thing: I hate rats," he said at a press conference in October 2022.
formaldehyde implies the existence of casualdehyde
formaldehyde also implies the existence of formaldejekyll
casualdejekyll
First the media tells me these deported immigrants are innocent, then it says they were sports fans. Which is it? Make up your mind!
I hope Trump goes after rap and country next.
I think of this classic cartoon every time there’s any kind of international trade dispute.

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Trolley from the trolley problem resigns after sexual harassment allegations
Witnesses say trolley touched victims' bodies without their consent
wise person explaining why no one wants to make good games: JRPGs are obscure.
me: What do you mean, everyone on /r/JRPG plays them!