fight milk™

me: i’m hungover my boyfriend *through walkie-talkie*: eh, not really. over

@shadowcat

1 reblog = 1 safe journey 👆👆

I can’t believe the frontman of Stryper was the Zodiac Killer.

“arent u a bit too obsessed with that thing?” listen my buddy my guy i dont know how 2 just like smth a moderate amount …… i am being swallowed whole and alive by the Burning Fire of my Obsession™,,,, my pal u are incorrect im no such thing as “a bit” obsessed i am ….. on fire and can talk of nothing else ,,,,, friend,

Fuck distance, I wanna taste you now.

Why popeyes gotta be so far for 

i’m that dad who wants to start a garage band with all the other dads in the neighborhood but my wife wont let me

me about me: when is she gonna stop …………..isn’t she tired..