Chunky Boy™️

I have posted often about the difficulty of approaching and, even admiring from afar, fat men in public. How there is always a bit of worry that my stares will be interpreted negatively. All FA/FFA's have been in this situation before... we see someone gorgeous in public, but we are hyper-aware of our stares of desire being misinterpreted as stares of disgust.

Someone called out societal fatphobia for causing this very situation. And I agree 100%.

Society has told fat people that they don't deserve love towards their bodies. So, getting positive attention in public must be impossible, right? So any looks from others... they must be having a laugh.

And, even worse, I know of fat people who are also on their guard against fat admirers. I don't blame them, if they have actually had a negative experience. But mainstream society says that if you have any kind of positive opinion towards fat, you must have some kind of mental disorder.

So there are two, or really, three obstacles here:

1. Fatphobia causing a fat person to interpret any looks towards them as negative.

2. Awful fat admirers that use their partners, and therefore all fat admirers must be bad.

3. Or society in general looking down on those who are attracted to fat people and think they deserve love.

They can all blend in a way... fatphobia causing a negative reaction to positive attention in public: either because society tells fat people they will never get admiration for their size, or society telling fat people that if they DO get positive attention... the person giving it has some kind of dangerous fetish.

If the world tells fat people that they only deserve attention for weight loss... and the only time they get positive attention is praise towards that goal... I don't blame fat people for being on their guard when they do get attention in public.

I mean, what a mind fuck that is. Your whole life being told that being fat is bad. And if you've always been fat... that can easily be interpreted as "I'm bad, because I'm fat."

The only positive attention you've ever gotten towards your body is when you've lost weight. (Not to mention, losing weight is hard. And I've seen people really hurt themselves while on diets... to the point of needing an organ removed). And yet, torturing yourself like that gets praise and admiration because you've lost weight?!

It's obvious society doesn't care about the physical wellbeing of fat people. They'd rather see someone almost die due to weight loss, than see someone healthy at a big size.

Fatphobia is a serious issue. It's not just hurting people's "feelings"... it's killing people.

Yeah, it's frustrating seeing the benign results of it: the legitimate positive attention towards their bodies always being interpreted as mockery. But, it can be very serious. Fat people hurting themselves to lose weight because their whole life they were told that being fat is bad.

But then the question is: what can we do about it? How can we be the change that we want to see in the world?

I think normalizing fat bodies is a start. Standing up for fat people when we see any kind of public abuse. Speaking assertively and often about fat rights and accessibility.

Also, and this isn't often thought of... NOT talking about someone's size when we know nothing about them. (This is a big one. Years ago, the amount of times I've seen people praise my partner's weight loss, when in fact he had stomach ulcers and was in severe pain. If he was thin and had the same medical issue, people would be worried. But instead it was, "Oh, you're looking great, you've lost weight." And it's like... no shit, he's sick. You're basically praising illness for it's superficial results.)

I'm definitely venting, since I have a lot of anger towards how fat people are treated. Mainly because I've lived it with my partner for almost 2 decades. I've seen how people treat him, in many different phases of his weight and his life. When he's considered very large, people don't really respect him. When he's lost weight due to illness, people praise him. And I definitely harbor anger towards those people. (As a side note: you can bet your ass, I speak up about it, and continue to do so. I don't let them get away with it).

Feedism as a way to say fuck you to the government and racist/misogynistic beauty standards

Feedism as a way to meet your gender transition goals

Feedism as a way to connect with your partner

Feedism as a way to show love and pleasure to your body

Feedism for the sake of sex, art, food

Reading a pornographic story on your phone quietly and feeling vaguely aroused: idgaf

Thinking about stuff that makes you feel aroused: how tf would I know unless you tell me? I don't care but I don't want to hear about it

Seeing your fetish in the wild and getting a bit squirmy and turned on: again I'm not going to know unless you tell me. I don't care! Just text your friend about it like the rest of us

As long as you aren't irritating me I don't give a shit what you're doing or thinking about or how aroused you are

Just don't like, masturbate or watch porn videos on the bus where people can see and hear it. And my objection to that is not that it's horny it's that it's objectively rude

I would also get annoyed at someone picking their nose and flicking the boogies about or playing non porn videos loudly on the bus

but the inside of your head

is not a shared space

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

does it? not for women after childbirth

does it? not if you want to see an effect size of greater than 1 kilo (2.2lbs)

does it? not if you'd like to see a maintained loss greater than 3.3% of your body weight

does it? not for people with type 2 diabetes

does it? not for people exercising for their non-alcoholic fatty liver disease

Interactive computer-based reminders to diet and exercise are useless.

I mean, I literally went to Cochrane Reviews, one of the best-respected sources for massive meta-analyses, and I just input the keywords "weight loss" and "exercise," and I'm tooling through the results. Every one of the damn things shows that we do not have high-quality research indicating that exercise leads to weight loss. So no. I'm right, and you need to adjust your worldview--ask yourself, if not for weight loss, then why? Re-read those sources: exercise improved muscle density, insulin sensitivity, and cholesterol. It's good for your blood vessels, it's good for your strength, it's good for your brain.

Eating good veggies helps digestion, your skin health, emotional balance, and has plenty of other benefits.

Exercise and eating green leafy vegetables have very minimal effects on weight. The biggest effects are on people who gained weight because of a debilitating condition - exercise and diet can help them get back to the shape that's their body's natural condition with their normal metabolism. Usually not quite to where they were before - bodies try very hard to hold on to mass after illness or injuries - but bodies also want to find their normal equilibrium.

Exercise will not turn a fat person into a skinny person. It has plenty of health benefits; "being skinny" is not a health benefit.

Repeat: "Being skinny" is not an indicator of health.

And occasionally I share this one around again:

feedees if you have a history of ED’s just because you’re now actively gaining weight you’re not immune to unhealthy and bad thought patterns but reframed as gaining weight. i’ve been blindsided multiple times and burnt out when i start focusing on gaining weight i can get into bad ED related habits

i’ve causght myself a few times recently beginning to fall into unhealthy gaining mental thought patterns that i believe are echo’s from my ED history

it’s very important to keep checking in with yourself as you gain mentally as well especially those in ED recovery like me

I get in thought patterns that start to really stress about the number going up on the scale or avoiding bathrooms cause i wanna retain the weight it’s not good headspace’s or even minimising movement for fear of burning calories this kink and kinks are meant to be fun so keep yourself in balance!

there’s no such thing as an inherently immoral kink

like it’s so fun to open your horizons and not be restricted by society’s small ass box, the feedism spectrum is large and wide (pun intended)

just allow yourself to find everyone beautiful! the doors that open when you let fatness into a celebrated form is quite fun and a lot less stressful.

just look up Thicc Radio wherever you get your podcasts!!!!!