FatherAdobe

Is mayonnaise an instrument? Is mayonnaise an instrument....

Well, let's find out....

Wikipedia states that anything used to create sounds musically can be considered an instrument!

Mayonnaise is known for its thick, gelatinous texture, but it transforms beautifully when spread on bread. However, instead of focusing on culinary uses, the topic at hand is explainin' how we can make sweet music with mayonnaise.

So let's say, for example, you have a slab of mayonnaise on a plate, lookin' gross n' shit. You have a spoon and lightly smack the top of the mayo slab with said spoon. What happens? It makes a sound. And sounds by themselves don't really make music. But if you make this sound with the intent to make music... it could possibly make somethin' happen. So, let's hit the slab in different spots with differing levels where you could theoretically make a song.

But here let me just grab an example of mayonnaise being used as an instrument. But where would you get an example of that, Father? And I hear your cries...

It's Spongebob. In Spongebob Squarepants season 2, episode 35, titled "Band Geeks," Squidward Tentacles tries to rally together a bunch of Bikini Bottom citizens to play at the upcomin' Bubble Bowl. During their rehearsal, Patrick Star asks Squidward Q. Tentacles, the conductor, asks a simple question. The same as yours; "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" And, of course, Conductor Tentacles responds with "No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument..."

But you are WRONG Tentacles... and you've seen it yourself. Patrick Star plays mayonnaise at a concert in front of the Bikini Bottom public. Now bear witness to this...

Now Patrick here ops for a more... primitive approach of just shovin' your hand in the jar and movin' it around to create sounds.

But since a starfish could do it I could probably do it. So to answer your question, urigishi...

now all that's left is to actually... open the google document annd... write the shit i said i would(´_ゝ`)

I believe this is the start of a new era

MILK

Normal, gut wrenching, and unbelievably fucked up liquid that comes straight from the teats of some random fuckin' cows.

Maybe it's just me being a "frail boned wimp" in the eyes of some. But, milk... Is just udderly dreadful to my poor taste buds and tummy to the point where I get the urge to vomit last week's dinner all over the floor.

Like, human beings are like the only species to drink milk from an entirely different creature! I just find that kinda crazy once one really sits and thinks about this fact.

Oh and could I forget the smell...

So not does the accursed white nectar taste like moldy cardboard after sitting in the rain, it also smells crazy. Speaking of crazy...

FUCKING WHITE GATORADE!!!

I mean, I don't really fuck with it because, during school lunch, I was dared to take a sip of White Gatorade. Now due to me having my suspicions about the mysterious white potion I wasn't going to do it. But a good friend of mine said that if I just took a small waterfall, they'd chug the rest of the cursed concoction. So of course after hearing this proposition I reluctantly took the bottle and took a waterfall of the drink but not too much as I already wasn't fucking with this whole idea in the first place. I then quickly handed it over to my good friend who carried out his promise and chugged.

Of course not after I did my best Himeno impression behind a tree which utterly shook me for the rest of the school day.