Welcome To The Aquarium

I'm, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like "sidenote," "oh also," "by the way,"

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

@elodieunderglass

It’s fabulous - though I’m unsure if it’s a trustworthy custodian of the sugar….

@elodieunderglass not horrible, but things with legs?

I’ll send them on their lovely journey, thank you!

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

it's good enrichment for The Character(s) when one of their friends gets possessed and they have to find some way to bring them back. great friendgroup bonding activity. especially if they have to do some exorcism bullshit and it's traumatizing for everyone involved and there's collapsing and sobbing afterward. great thing for The Character(s) to do. highly recommend.

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

Show daddy that nice picture again

ok. enough of all that. now lets go to bed everyone. follow me

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife