in your eyes

gay thoughts that take up your whole mind for a hot minute

Poster for Mitski’s Austin City Limits Performance by Gica Tam

My significant other and I have been trapped into another shitty household (cyclical abuse, yay!), and we have nowhere else we can go

(For context: this house is owned by my significant other’s mom(who we pay rent to), and we live with my s/o’s brother(who makes the house a huge mess that we are forced to clean up). Both are manipulative and abusive)

Neither of us can drive (yet, we’re working on getting some money together for a permit)

Neither of us have jobs yet (difficult to get hired when you’re disabled/have unreliable transportation)

We’ve run out of money paying bills, paying rent, and buying groceries for the house (which our roommate has helped himself to, so-)

We’re out of food (our roommate only buys groceries for himself, and helps himself to ours since WE don’t let people go hungry)

We’ve been rationing our food to try and make it last until one of us gets a job, but since only one of us has experience/isn’t disabled we can’t hold our breath.

This isn’t even including the emotional exhaustion of having to constantly be on guard since our roommate is a known liar and theif, and has taken things from our room. We asked permission to install a lock on our door, got the OK, and installed it.

But Now

My s/o’s mom has kicked up a huge fuss and demanded we give our housemate a key (in case the water heater stops working/a fuse is blown, etc.), completely defeating the purpose of the lock.

There was an agreement made before all this that our housemate has to prove he’s responsible enough to live here, and he was given three whole months to do so(he has until the end of June). He has so far trashed the house 4 times, and we have been forced to clean it up.

Bottom line

We need to be able to eat, afford a driver’s permit (& subsequently a driver’s license), and be able to get the hell out of here when the hammer finally drops

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They uh, kinda looked like this

Which is scary, since I’ve only ever had bends in the lower back (below my rib cage), but it explains the persistent rib dislocations

So now I need a posture brace to get my spine and ribs back in place, and any decent ones (that won’t do more damage than good) are expensive.