Mild Manny

Tina: I wonder why we’re all assembled here today?

Gene: I hope we’re about to enter the Hunger Games ‘cause I’m starving.

Louise: Maybe they’re gonna tell us this is all a joke.

Mr.Frond: (clears throat) Who’s ready to have a little fun?When I say “announce,” you say “meets.” Announcements. Aah, I messed that up. Anyway, here’s your P.E. instructor, Coach Blevins.

Coach Blevins: This Friday, every single student at Wagstaff will be participating in our annual fourth through eighth-grade mandatory mile run.

-(students gasp) -Gene: What-What’s happening?

Louise: No, no, no, no, no, no.

Coach Blevins: Every student is required to run unless you have a real doctor’s note, not a very convincing fake one that any intelligent person would fall for.

We’ll be running the same route as last year on the sidewalk outside of the school property. Teachers will be placed around the route here, here, here, and here to make sure you don’t get lost or taken or something worse I’m not thinking of.

Mr.Frond: This dot on the map is me. But I’ll be scooting about on my adult scooter to inspire while you perspire.Okay.Now, let’s move on to the booger wall. Mr. Branca is scraping and painting today, so you have two hours if you want a picture of yourself with it or if you want to take any of your boogers home.

Lousie: We have to run? A mile? And it’s mandatory?!

Regular-Sized Rudy: What a bunch of crap!

Louise: Well, listen, I can’t run the mile! Okay? Regular-Sized Rudy: If I run a mile, I will die!