far.too.much.sarcasm

“no one is asking for open borders” i am actually

People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

You may think it cruel but when a white witch pisses me off I go through her etsy listings for native bird feathers and forward it to fish and wildlife services

Sweats in Salem witch descendant

Keep sweating girl the game wardens on his way