We're all mad here.

zonepan:

badgersprite:

guardian:

“I didn’t start publishing Pennsylvania’s Orange Street News so that people would think I’m cute. I want to get the truth to people, even if it makes grownups mad,” says 9-year-old Hilde Kate Lysiak, publisher of and reporter for the Orange Street News.

After reporting on a suspected homicide in Selinsgrove, Pa., Hilde was harassed by “disgusted” adults commenting on her site, saying her time would be better spent at tea parties and playing with dolls. 

Hilde has something to say, and she takes no prisoners, firing back at her aging critics, with a video and in her column for the Guardian. 

how pathetic do you have to be to pick on a literal nine year old

You won’t know that the Elder Wand was also called the Deathstick

Ron was actually a Prefect

Harry, Fred and George got a “life-long ban” from Umbridge after they attacked Malfoy on the pitch

Dumbledore hired a centaur named Firenze to teach Divination

Neville Longbotton could’ve been “The Chosen One” but Voldemort chose Harry

Fenrir Greyback was the werewolf who bit Remus Lupin as a child

Harry attended Bill and Fleur’s wedding disguised as Barny Weasley, a red-headed Weasley cousin

Lily was actually a few months older than James

While still alive, the Bloody Baron, who became the ghost of Slytherin House, was sent by Rowena Ravenclaw to retrieve her daughter, Helena, whom he was in love with. When Helena, who became the ghost of Ravenclaw House, refused to go with him, he became angry and stabbed her. Then, distraught with having killed her, he killed himself

Harry mended his own wand with the Elder Wand before he got rid of it

Harry, Ron and Hermione met Neville in St Mungos, who was visiting his parents and his Gran told them what happened to Alice and Frank 

The Potters’ had a cat

Harry got  miniature broom from Sirius for his first Birthday

the triwizard tournament maze was actually WAY more interesting than the movie version: Harry straight up ran through some fog which turned the whole world upside down, he answered a riddle for a sphinx in order to get past her and actually encountered a blast-ended skrewt

blast-ended skrewts were hybrids of a manticore and fire crab, bred by hagrid which he introduced to the students during classes. they had sparks flying out of their rear ends which would explode. females had suckers and males had stingers.

not all of hagrid’s lessons were disasters!!! he once buried leprechaun treasure in his back garden and gave each student a niffler and set them loose to see whose would catch the most gold (the winner won a bar of honeydukes chocolate)

fred and george’s pranks against umbridge didn’t only involve the massive fireworks display: they placed nifflers in her office on more than one occasion and it nearly bit her fingers off trying to get at her gold rings and they even created a portable swamp which sealed off a whole corridor and didn’t give anyone instructions on how to remove it

they left Peeves with a command to ‘give them hell’ and the poltergeist, who never listened to students ever, took the words to heart and started pretty much wrecking the entire castle

the teachers kept coming to umbridge with all of their problems because they didn’t have the ‘authority’ to deal with it themselves (even though they could totally fix it) which resulted in umbridge running herself ragged trying to keep up with each new disaster. 

at one point harry witnessed peeves trying to undo the fastenings for a chandelier and saw mcgonagall say out of the corner of her mouth as she walked past ‘it unscrews the other way’

when snape demanded to see harry’s potion book after he injured draco in the bathroom, he went and retrieved ron’s book instead, who he didn’t realise had signed it with a spell checking quill. The magic had worn off and read ‘roonil wazlib’ instead and when snape asked who that was harry lied and told snape that was his nickname.

in the second book, during valentine’s day, lockhart hired dwarves to carry harps, wear gold wings and pretend to be cupids while they read out love letters. Harry received one from Ginny in front of a crowd of people and was so embarrassed he tried to run, but the dwarf caught him around the legs and then sat on him so he could recite the rest of the love poem. 

percy weasley moved out of the house after the fourth book when harry said voldemort was back, choosing to side with the ministry and his ambition over his own family whom he stopped talking to for several books. he arrived back just in time to fight in the battle of hogwarts, reuniting with his family and apologising for his behaviour right before fred was killed.

cho never sold out dumbledore’s army to umbridge. it was her friend marietta edgecombe.

in the sixth book when harry was obsessed with finding out what malfoy was up to, he sent kreacher and dobby to spy on his whereabouts

ginny actually had a personality??? her and harry’s relationship didn’t feel weird or forced (and there was definitely no strange shoe tying incident)

it was actually tonks who found harry on the train in the sixth book after malfoy broke his nose and left him there. her patronus had changed so much (to resemble the shape of a huge hulking creature) that for a while harry thought she was in love with sirius and was mourning his death

During the Battle of Hogwarts , when Crabbe dies , Draco is completely inconsolable and nearly throws himself into the fire that killed his friend out of grief

- Also in “ The Cursed Child ” Draco is a very loving father to Scorpius and is working really hard to help mend the damage done by the Death Eaters and it’s pretty well implied he’s been cast off by much of his family

“ I have come to you because my son is crying and hurting and you’re keeping him from his best friend ” - Draco lecturing Harry because Harry ( super OOC btw ) wasn’t letting Albus hang out with Scorpius

- SIRIUS WAS ABUSED FOR BEING A GRYYFINDOR IN A SLYTHERIN FAMILY AND THAT’S WHY HE HATED GRIMMAULD PLACE

- Sirius and James were pretty much brothers, and Sirius often hid at the Potter home in his Hogwarts years

- Thinking of Harry and just knowing James’s son was alive gave Sirius enough strength to handle TWELVE YEARS of Dementor torment

- Hagrid was always feeding Harry and inviting him over for tea and just generally treating him like a son and was entirely a mess when he thought Harry died

- Fred and George memorized all the hidden secrets of Hogwarts in their first year , the bloody geniuses

- Once when Draco called Hermione a Mudblood in front of the Gryffindor Quidditch team , Fred and George got so furious it took the whole team PLUS onlookers to hold them back and George was straight up about to just ditch wands and throw fists

- Fred had a crush on Katie , Angelina , and possibly Lee Jordan ( I mean if you read it again and pay attention you can see the gay crushing )

- It’s implied that George is the technical guy in their plots and Fred is the idea guy , but they both have a knack for design and tricky magic

- Fred and George created a secret underground radio system designed to help people hide from Death Eaters and not ONCE did they get found out , they were war heroes

- George was also possibly bi? I mean he definitely seemed to have a thing for Oliver Wood , and Katie

- RON IS A GREAT GUY IN THE BOOKS AND HIGH KEY CRUSHING ON HERMIONE FROM THE START AND HIS BIGGEST FEAR IN BOOK SEVEN WITH THE HORCRUX NECKLACE???? THAT was real and raw and emotional af for Harry to witness

Ron’s biggest fear was losing his crush to his best friend and both of them leaving him behind I MEAN

- DURING THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS RON IMITATED PARSELTONGUE SO WELL HE MANAGES TO GET INTO THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS TO STEAL BASILISK FANGS AND HERMIONE WAS SO IMPRESSED

- Flitwick was so impressed by the twins swamp prank that he REFUSED to take it down for like a month and then took down some of it , leaving a section as a monument to the twins groundbreaking magic AND a giant fuck u to Umbridge

He never reveals how he removed it and it’s implied that over time the swamp just grew back completely anyway???

- Fred and George created both actual love potions AND daydream potions that allow the user to pretty much experience a dream for real

- Fred and George deliberately hire people that are discriminated against ???? HEROES????? No but like they hire delinquents and werewolves and Muggle-borns and even give poor kids discounts ??? And they probably got hate for it but just keep on going ???

No but really the twins would be the nicest employers I love them ???

- DUDLEY

Dudley started being nicer to Harry In like book five and in book seven he was very distraught to learn that Harry had an army of murderers after him and got super indignant about the way his parents didn’t seem to care

- PETUNIA WAS REALLY BITTER THAT SHE WAS A SQUIB AND IT DROVE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER AND LILY BECAUSE ALL PETUNIA EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A WITCH

Almost every balcony in this Vietnam building is a restaurant/cafe.