Now there's a darkness deep in me. @fangsforhire - Tumblr Blog

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✯ IC =/= OOC. Don’t godmode. ✯ ✯ Selective & semi-active due to life.✯ ✯ Will happily write with crosscanon & OCs. ✯ ✯ Do not assume to know muse & call him Lucien. ✯ ✯ Please cut your posts & tag all standard triggers. ✯ ✯ I use small text/icons. You use whatever you want. ✯ ✯ No underage, no smut with minors. (mun is 21+). ✯ ✯ Time taken to reply may vary. Do not pressure. ✯ ✯ If I reply with a para; do not give me a line. ✯ ✯ If drama is started; you will be blocked. ✯ ✯ PM me if you have any questions. ✯

#ℒ | The more that I speak my mind ; the more I get left behind. ( Pinned. )

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klaudiqa

#ℒ | I hate what didn't kill me ; it never made me stronger at all. ( Lucien. )

Steals your brackets.

I WILL BITE YOU!

#anonymous #ℒ | And now you're tearing through the pages and the ink. ( OOC Ask. )

fortitudina: Yeah,I have noticed you use brackets in every paragraph. Me: ... Me: LEAVE MY BRACKETS ALONE!

#{ I like my formatting cryyyyy ;; }#ℒ | 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me. ( Out of sass. )

talvisoldat

"Really?" Bucky asked, not being able to hide the slight note of disbelief in his voice. It seemed like they always met under some rather suspect circumstances at this point. As he saw the bar code on the inside of the other's wrist, Bucky raised an dark eyebrow. "James.... But you clearly know who i am." He responded, the creepiness of people knowing him was something he had got better with through the years. "You have my attention..... What do you want from me?"

fangsforhire

‘Really.’

The disbelief didn’t surprise him. If anything, it made Barnes seem more sensible than most poor idiots who heard HYDRA and still somehow thought they were having a normal conversation. Lucien’s wrist lowered again, barcode hidden from view, though the feel of it stayed beneath his skin. ( Bloody brilliant. Nothing like showing old marks in a bar and hoping it didn’t look like some tragic little bonding exercise. ) His attention stayed on him, less amused now, because this wasn’t about sympathy or trust. It was simpler than that, and somehow harder to say.

‘I came because last time was messy, and I don’t like leaving that sort of thing unfinished. I wanted you to know I’m not your enemy. That’s all.’

#talvisoldat #ℒ | V; Can't catch me I'm on the run; all that's left's a smoking gun. ( Post HYDRA. )

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temp0rt5l

❝ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴜɴ-ᴀᴅᴏᴘᴛᴇᴅ .❞

independent, slow, selective , FIVE HARGREEVES as portrayed in Netflix’s Umbrella Academy. heavy on the comic influence && own headcanons - && excluding s4. exploring themes of lost time, debilitating depression, what superpowers do to a mind, violence, murder as a hobby, starting again, not being good enough for your family, family trauma, ptsd and self-destruction.

barely held together with duct tape and glue by peter, 33, GMT, est june 2022 || rebooted june 2026

#ℒ | If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song? ( Follow Forever. )

thenightmareofyourdrems

˜”*°•. Boring it had become - the constant game, the endless pretense. The feigned innocence, the carefully crafted ignorance. So when he first sensed the presence nearby, he found himself wondering whether he even wanted to play along anymore. He could let the other waste their time tailing him, hoping to catch some glimpse of interest - or spare them both the effort and end the charade now. ❝ Maybe I was curious to see the amount of commitment. ❞ And as it seemed, after a fair amount of minutes, it was impressive.

❝ Depends, do you find people walking interesting? ❞ Sarcasm dripped from his tone, gaze not for a second diverting from his. ❝ Sure there are much better hobbies. ❞ Kill him. This would’ve been the quickest option - especially when he was that close to finishing what’d been assigned to him. However, there was something curious about the other - a scent that resembled no human’s. And he assumed that the other could tell the same about him as well, so really, was there a point in playing pretend ?

fangsforhire

‘Commitment? Careful, love. You’ll make me sound invested.’

That was the annoying part, wasn’t it? He was. Enough to stay there when he had other things to do, enough to keep watching when the sensible option would have been to leave Tyler to whatever little errand had put that look on his face. Lucien hadn’t missed it. The assessment, the weighing up, the part where murder briefly became less an impulse and more a practical solution. ( Cute. A bit dramatic for a man stood in public, but who was he to judge? Glass houses and all that. ) Instead of moving closer, he stayed exactly where he was, far too relaxed for someone who had clearly noticed the threat and decided to treat it like casual conversation. Tyler didn’t smell human. That had been obvious from the start, but the longer he stood there, the harder it became to decide what he was, and Christ, that was irritating.

‘People walking? No. People pretending they’re not thinking about killing me? Slightly more my speed.’

The charade was wearing thin now, and perhaps that suited them both better. There was no point pretending either of them had stumbled into this by accident, no point acting like scent and instinct hadn’t already done half the work for them. ( Lucien knew what humans smelled like. Fragile. Warm. Loud in all the ways that mattered. ) Tyler had something else beneath it, something that didn’t sit right with the rest of the street, and that alone made him harder to dismiss.

‘So go on then. You first. What are you?’

#thenightmareofyourdrems #ℒ | V; I hear the angels talking ; now I’m a dead man walking. ( Main. )

griefkill

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥. 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐰.

♱ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝 ♱ 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 ♱

#ℒ | If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song? ( Follow Forever. )#{ pretty blog is pretty ;; }

@vallorouslly went digging where they shouldn’t : ❓+ do you like a raging storm? when the wind howls, the rain pelts down hard on the windows. when the power goes out, the hearth of a fire the only think keeping you warm. a particular brand of isolation and atmosphere. could you withstand it?

‘Nah, I don’t mind a storm. Rain pelting down hard enough to make the windows rattle, wind howling like it’s got beef with the roof, power cutting out because apparently the whole damn world can’t cope with a bit of weather; sounds alright to me. There’s something about it, isn’t there? Not the cosy little fantasy people get smug about, with blankets and candles and some tragic little book they pretend they were ever going to read, but the isolation of it. The kind where the outside world disappears for a while, where everything beyond the glass turns into noise and bad visibility, and all you’ve got is firelight, whiskey if you’ve got any sense, and your own thoughts finally being drowned out for once. Bloody brilliant, honestly.

I’d sit there quite happily while the sky made an absolute state of itself outside, because at least a storm doesn’t lie about what it is. It comes in loud, kicks off, breaks a few things, then leaves, which is more honesty than most people manage. Could I withstand it? Sweetheart, I’ve withstood far worse than wind and rain. The weather can throw itself at the windows all night if it wants, good luck to it. Only thing I’d have a problem with is being stuck there, because chosen isolation is fine, lovely even, but being trapped is a different conversation entirely, and no one wants me in that mood.’

#vallorouslly #ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. )

@malumxsubest went digging where they shouldn’t : what horrors that linger the most than the others that lucien bears with gritted teeth in the privacy of his own home? what changed him? //

‘The horrors that linger the most? Fucksake, you do enjoy going straight for the throat, don’t you? Everyone expects the obvious answer. Mephistopheles. HYDRA. Purgatory. Cages. Chains. Some prick deciding he could take one look at me and call it ownership. Yes, all of that remains. Course it does. I still don’t like locked doors unless I know exactly how to break them. I still hear metal scrape wrong and feel Silver too close beneath my skin. I still smell disinfectant and blood and suddenly Anton is there, waiting like HYDRA left him in some corner of me and forgot to turn him off. Bloody brilliant system, really. Break a creature enough times and then act surprised when every part of him learns a different way to survive.

Mephistopheles changed me first. He taught me that loneliness could be used against you, which is a nasty little lesson when you hadn’t a clue what you were yet. I believed him, didn’t I? Believed I belonged to him, believed he’d made me, believed the world outside would do worse if I ran. Talk about fucking cheek. Silver came from that. Shadow learned to keep out of sight. Cirian learned that if he sounded mouthy enough, maybe no one would notice he was scared. Kitten buried himself where hands couldn’t reach. Every one of them took something because I couldn’t take all of it and stay standing. That’s what people miss about alters. They don’t arrive for decoration. They arrive because something in you is getting ripped apart and someone has to hold the pieces.

HYDRA only made it worse. They saw damage and thought, lovely, we can work with that. They didn’t just cut me open or restrain me or pump me full of whatever clever little sedative they’d cooked up in their labs. They went for the mind. They saw the fractures and shoved their hands in like they had any right. That is the part that sticks. Not the pain. Pain becomes background noise after a while, especially when you’ve survived as much as I have. It’s the taking. The assumption. The way they looked at me like I was a problem to be solved, or a weapon to be corrected, and then acted shocked when I turned their nice little facility into an absolute state.

Purgatory changed me too, but not in the way people think. I went there expecting an ending. Stupid, perhaps, but grief makes idiots of everyone eventually. I thought I’d see my wife. My daughter. I thought after everything, after all that blood and loss and the whole damn world taking and taking, death might have the decency to give something back. It didn’t. It spat me somewhere worse and left me there to learn I couldn’t even die right. Maverick fought. Sanguiem learned how to make every strike count. Silver took what screaming he could. Enzo kept remembering love, inconvenient bastard that he is, and Lonan... Lonan stayed. That’s what changed me. Not monsters. Not agony. The fact that even there, some part of me still refused to let the light go out.

But the horrors I bear with gritted teeth in the privacy of my own home? Those are quieter. My wife’s blood. My daughter’s face. The space after them. The fact I can walk through a room and remember where laughter used to be, which is pathetic and enraging in equal measure. I can survive torture. I can survive cages. I can survive some organisation full of frightened little men thinking they were bloody invincible. Good luck to them. What I struggle with is sitting alone when everything is calm and realising that love left more damage than all of them combined.

So what changed me? Love did. Losing it did. Mephistopheles made me suspicious. HYDRA made me furious. Purgatory made me very difficult to frighten. But love made it personal. Love gave the horror names. It gave it a voice. It made the absence follow me from room to room like it had nowhere better to be. That is what I grit my teeth through when no one is looking. Raven keeps me moving. Silver keeps everyone far enough away. Enzo reminds me why I shouldn’t burn the whole thing down. Kitten remembers what was taken. Cirian makes some smart little comment because apparently being sincere would kill him. Shadow watches. Maverick wants blood. Sanguiem wants targets. Anton waits. Valentin is... complicated.

There. That’s your answer. I’m not haunted because I’m weak. I’m haunted because I remember too much, and every part of me had to become something else just to bear it.’

#malumxsubest #suicide tw #trauma tw #torture tw #grief tw #ℒ | And I tried to hold these secrets inside me. ( Headcanon. )

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IMPORTANT PSA !

Due to feeling overwhelmed lately by people turning asks and prompts into threads, I’m going to be implementing a new rule going forward.

Anything that is open to being turned into a thread will be answered on a new post rather than directly through the ask box. Those posts will be tagged with:

ℒ | Yeah it's way too many feels ; way too much emotion. ( Roleplay Prompt. )

If something is posted under that tag, then you are welcome to continue it, reblog it, or treat it as a proper starter/thread prompt.

Anything that is meant to be a closed ask, a passing moment, a small response, or something I only intend to answer once will stay as an ask. Those will be closed to reblogs if I remember, and they will be tagged with:

ℒ | It's just another stroke of the pen on the page. ( Roleplay Ask. )

Please do not turn those into threads.

This is not aimed at anyone in particular. I’ve just been struggling a lot lately because it has started to feel like every ask I answer automatically becomes another thing added to my draft count, and it’s made replying feel more stressful than fun. I love receiving asks and prompts, but I need a clearer boundary between things that are open to continue and things that are only meant to be answered as a one-off moment.

Thank you for understanding and respecting this.

#ℒ | A good excuse to be a bad influence on you. ( PSA. )

Anon. He is questioning you BADLY.

#*crack*

fortitudina

𝕃𝔼𝕆ℕ 𝕊 𝕂𝔼ℕℕ𝔼𝔻𝕐 ~ a study in resilience, dedication & emotional conflict, battling the harsh realities of a life with PTSD, and unhealthy coping mechanisms while remaining highly skilled and mission-ready.

It's a day I'll never forget. The cop inside me died that day. And that night, Raccoon City was wiped out, thanks to the bioweapons created by Umbrella. Somehow, I made it out. But too many others...weren't so lucky. I was "asked" later to join a top-secret government program. Not that I had a choice. The training, the punishing missions...nearly killed me, but at least they kept my mind off everything. If I could just forget what happened that night --- the pain, even for a second? This time, it can be different. It has to.

#*promo tag*

So many people have made me love Lucien again? Like. For a while I was highly considering deleting him but thanks to @grimmusings , @dazedcanary , @vallorouslly , @vspomnit , @ofdamnedsouls , @bloodpsalm and @stxincd ! I am really enjoying writing him / developing him again. Thank you for giving my extremely complex dickhead and his MANY alters a chance. There are many more of you but these are the ones who have really made my time these past few weeks a joy.

You march energy & put up with up the angst that is this catpire on discord. Many of you also check in. You're all beautiful writers and I probably would have at the very least gone on hiatus without you. ❤️

#mobile

memedrome

Don't just react to replies

This seems to be a rampant issue in the RPC. And it is extremely draining for your partners if your muse and your narration do nothing else but react to your partner's post. Let me explain through an example:

"Hello! What are you doing?"

"I'm birdwatching."

The partner can have their muse answer with "Nice. Bye." and just end the thread, or ask a different question to try and keep the thread going. You leave it up to your partner to maintain an engaging interaction and it also gives an air of lackluster. Just a reaction is often not much for the other muse to react to in turn.

Instead of just replying a question, throw the ball back at your partner's muse, keep the interaction interesting for both. Maybe half of your reply being reaction, the other half new things for the other muse to react to.

"I'm birdwatching. Do you want to join me?"

That way, the other muse can either join or decline and maybe suggest an alternate activity for them to do. It's already more engaging and you signalize your partner that you are interested. You can always take it a step further, too.

"I'm birdwatching. There is this rare bird in this area. Check it out!" The muse shows the other muse a picture of the rare bird. "Do you want to join me? I could need an extra pair of eyes."

It's just like that in normal conversations. Yes, I know first-hand that it can be exhausting to ask a friend questions back and maintain a conversation, but having your friend/partner do all the legwork is even more exhausting for them and selfish from you, to be honest.

Rp is a two-way street, just like conversations. Treat your partners with respect and give back what they give you. Literally. Make it a rule that if your partner gives you nothing to work with repeatedly, then have your muse just walk out on them. Don't burn yourself out on people not valuing your time and work.

#*this*

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beautifullytragic6

#*to tag*

marichive

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑* ( 𝐏𝐓. 𝟑 )

Writing / roleplay prompts based on lyrics collected from various songs released by TWICE. ( Part one here & part two here. )

tw: some suggestive content

❝ I don’t even know my own heart. ❞

❝ Sooner or later, I'll step over the line. ❞

❝ I shouldn't be doing this. ❞

❝ Keep your eyes closed. ❞

❝ Just this once, no rules. ❞

❝ Pretend you don't know. ❞

❝ Surely you can see that you could never make her happy? ❞

❝ Heaven and hell are not far from what you think. ❞

❝ Take me to your paradise. ❞

❝ It's a starry night. ❞

❝ Kiss me in the blue moonlight. ❞

❝ Get me out of here! ❞

❝ Takе me with you. ❞

❝ I keep wanting you. ❞

❝ I want you so bad. ❞

❝ I'm afraid to be alone again. ❞

❝ I can feel it even when I close my eyes. ❞

❝ I've already made up my mind. ❞

❝ I don’t want any drama. ❞

❝ You don't look like yourself. ❞

❝ You are the bright one. ❞

❝ You’re a queen. ❞

❝ You make me feel special. ❞

❝ Focus only on me. ❞

❝ You will always be the one. ❞

❝ You enjoy my attention. ❞

❝ I'm gonna make you scream all night long. ❞

❝ Tell me it will be okay. ❞

❝ I know you've been waiting for me. ❞

❝ Why do you keep studying me? ❞

❝ That's not quite my style. ❞

❝ You think too much, that's your problem. ❞

❝ Being stuck in your head will do no good. ❞

❝ Your eyes are glowing in the dark. ❞

❝ All the stars above got nothing on you, baby. ❞

❝ You know that I'm what you need. ❞

❝ They know a thing like me is once in a lifetime. ❞

❝ You still can't get away from me. ❞

❝ I know it drives you crazy. ❞

❝ You think you're all that? ❞

❝ Don't ever think that you can win. ❞

❝ Don't provoke me anymore. ❞

❝ No one can compare to me. ❞

❝ Why did I become like this? ❞

❝ You got me right where I wanna be. ❞

❝ Are you ready for the ride? ❞

❝ I'll give you flowers 'til the end of time. ❞

❝ Say you wanna take me out tonight. ❞

❝ If you only knew what I could do to you. ❞

❝ Baby boy, can you handle it? ❞

❝ I'd put you on a chain. ❞

❝ Can I dance with you? ❞

❝ Honestly, I've been feeling insecure. ❞

❝ I'm not even mad at you, it's my attitude. ❞

❝ You do what you’re told, and I do what I want. ❞

❝ I'm better than before. ❞

❝ I gave you all of me. ❞

❝ I didn't mean to love you like this. ❞

❝ You always gotta be somewhere, but you won't say where. ❞

❝ You don't know yet that you've already lost. ❞

❝ Your eyes have already given it all away. ❞

❝ I really don't think I am the problem. ❞

❝ Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. ❞

❝ I let you fool me once, but I can't let you fool me twice. ❞

❝ You know I'm always by your side. ❞

❝ I got you and that's all that matters. ❞

❝ No one knows me like you do. ❞

❝ I won't take you for granted. ❞

❝ Don't play with a girl like me. ❞

❝ You're in way, way, way too deep. ❞

❝ I came for the music, but I stayed for you. ❞

❝ I can't fix a heart, but I sure know how to fix a drink. ❞

❝ Just you and me, this moment is ours. ❞

❝ There's something in the way that you move. ❞

❝ You know I’m not in my right mind. ❞

❝ You’re addicted to me. ❞

❝ I'll be the one you can't forget. ❞

❝ You deceived me for your own benefit. ❞

❝ I'm the monster you created. ❞

❝ I'm not the same person I used to be. ❞

❝ You're on my mind all of the time. ❞

❝ I can taste you on my tongue. ❞

❝ I don't think that what we have is just a fling. ❞

❝ You won't hurt my feelings, tell me straight to my face. ❞

❝ You can't lie to me. ❞

❝ I'm a mess inside. ❞

❝ Is it a mistake, the way I love you? ❞

❝ I know your eyes, I know your heart. ❞

❝ I know there’s no point trying to change you. ❞

❝ I wanna be in your arms again. ❞

❝ It was a misunderstanding. ❞

❝ Who are you fooling? ❞

❝ You’re always fixated on something. ❞

❝ You should treat me right. ❞

❝ I decide my own worth. ❞

❝ I can’t keep living a lie. ❞

❝ We were lightning from the start ❞

❝ Won't you come and kiss my troubles away? ❞

❝ You can't take your eyes off me, can you? ❞

❝ No reason to be so shy with me. ❞

#mobile prompt

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Now there's a darkness deep in me.